Posts from 5th July 2000

Jul 00

Undies’ pants beats?

New York London Paris MunichPost a comment • 242 views

Undies’ pants beats? – I just realised why we don’t use the word “undie” for our hip hop over here. So I’m an idiot.

Josh doesn’t understand why people go on about undie beats being boring or just plain bad. With Mos Def I suppose you’re quite lucky. Probably the Roots too; I don’t know their work too well. The problem isn’t from the drum samples being obvious or the loops being common (I personally can find that a problem at times, which Tom doesn’t agree with, but that’s a different story) but with the arrangements being unimaginitive. The problem that annoys me the most is that it seems that all too often an undie producer just takes a bar of an old funk track and loops it for 4 minutes. No variation, no nothing. That doesn’t mean to say that repetitive can’t be good, but it often helps. A good Dre production, for example, will almost always have plenty going on which isn’t immediately the focal point but makes all the difference to the listener.

It’s hard to think of examples off the top of my head but for the bad side of things look at some of the older Rawkus stuff; some of those beats are so repetitive that I’ve fallen asleep listening to Shabaam Saadiq. It’s just a shame because the rappers can be so good and get let down.

Motor Suburb Madhouse

New York London Paris MunichPost a comment • 172 views

Motor Suburb Madhouse Fred’s back and he’s already got the best links. I’m too tired to comment any further than saying that this guy’s thoughts on the line “…then there’s no reason that a man and another man can’t elope” in The Real Slim Shady aren’t helped by the fact that the previous line is: “If we can hump dead animals and antelopes…” It kind of changes the meaning a bit.

ELTON JOHN – Your Song

I Hate MusicPost a comment • 561 views

Yeah I know I’m shooting fish in a barrel here (which to be fair is all about using the right gun) but its best to be comprehensive. And I’m leaving the rest of Reg’s opus for another day, because I want to make this quick. Its merely these two lines, from a song which is lyrically inept anyway, which were perhaps the biggest crime to be committed to vinyl in the early seventies. The world let John Lennon get away with Imagine on some pretext that he had a body of work which justified it (not true your honour). This does not explain why the self styled Captain Fantastic – a man who’s hair was too embarrassed of him to stick around – should be allowed to get away with this.

“If I was a sculptor – but then again no
Or a man who makes potions in a travelling show”

Okay, let us examine these lines. If I was a sculptor: well since this is a love song, and he is using supposedly the only “gift” he has in writing a lousy ballad for his belov’d, odds are if he was a sculptor he would probably, er, oh, make a statue? It’s a stab in the dark there, but that’s what I’m going for. Perhaps more interesting though is “the man who makes potions in a travelling show”. Firstly, that ain’t much of a show is it. I can just imagine all the kids in the area rushing to the potion making show.

“Fancy going down the pub tonight?”
“Nah – I’m off to see that bloke who makes potions”

If the wizard of Watford had been said man, chances are he would not have made a very good living, and hence a poor dying. But I suppose if you did make potions, and that was your only skill then to praise your love you might just – er, make a potion in their honour. I would imagine that it would be as romantically successful as Your Song. “Oh, it’s a potion. How romantic.” Stick with flowers, we chicks love ’em.

Lyrics this inept deserve punishing. The rest of the song is no better, though some might say the line “I know its not much but it’s the best I can do” should have warned the future generations to make sure he was not still fucking standing twenty five years later to foister Candle In The Wind upon us again. Goodbye England’s Rose? Goodbye speccy, rug-wearing twat would have been a lot better.