Posts from 16th June 2000

Jun 00


New York London Paris MunichPost a comment • 265 views

DUEL! – ROUND 2: Muse take on Kid Rock. And now I’m off to bed.

Alive and (Sky)Kicking

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Alive and (Sky)Kicking. Tim’s back and he’s talking about Napster. “Napster technology bypasses that framework, allowing us to create intimate connections with unknown people in a series of exchanges that entirely disregards the foundations of capitalist methodology, while still being totally, utterly capitalist.”. Thought-provoking stuff, but how is it ‘totally, utterly capitalist’? Unlike with ratio sites, there’s no limit on Napster based on how much you’re contributing. In fact, what Napster seems to be based on is the old leftist slogan: “From each according to his ability, to each according to his needs”, except with ‘needs’ replaced by ‘desires’.

The key thing about Napster is that it returns a sense of community to music, which is terrifically exciting in a sense, but in a very limited sense. There’s no criticism, examination or communication – none of the traditional trappings of music fandom, which means none of the elitism and hierarchies either. This is a wide but shallow community, not a ‘deep’ community like, say, an MP3 trading and discussion mailing list (were such things to exist!). Even more crucial is that Napster’s ‘community’ currently – and for the first time in pop history – excludes the musicians.

I really need to rewrite my MP3 Essay.

Free market fright for music moguls

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Free market fright for music moguls “I believe that information should be free and that people’s creative output is for the benefit of everyone. There are other business models that can be used to generate revenue and reward people for their creative output.” Interview with Freenet’s Ian Clarke. Needless to add, he doesn’t actually say what these business models are going to be.

Apologies to the many thousands of visitors from Western Homes and elsewhere who have come expecting a sharp music blog and have instead got an ill, tired, unmotivated and overworked corporate peon posting titbits from his daily newspaper, by the way.

nick doro blog

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nick doro blog: is this a music blog? not really, though it seems to be mostly about music, and good music too if the pictures of Jarvis and Serge are anything to go by. Pop over and say hello.

I’ve just bought If You’re Feeling Sinister. I think we can say with some certainly that B&S and I are now ‘an item’. It’s always the ones you don’t like at first, eh?


I Hate MusicPost a comment • 487 views


American MTV Reporter: Hey everyone, we have Travis here in, with their big new hit. Now I’ve got to say, I’ve heard your new big hit “Stumblebum” and I think you’re really cool.
Fran: Don’t you think everyone’s cool? Haven’t you had a pre-frontal lobotomy?
AMTVR: Ha Ha. The reason we think you are cool is that you are named after one of the great characters in American film – Travis Bickle from Taxi Driver.
Fran: No, actually we are named after Travis from Blakes’ Seven.
AMTVR: What’s Blakes’ Seven?
Fran: It was a British Science Fiction program noted for its particularily low budget and the fact that the titular hero was rarely in it.
AMTVR: Like Charlies Angels?
Fran: I think the Angels were the heroes of that really. Though strictly they were heroines.
AMTVR: So this Blake’s Six –
Fran: Seven.
AMTVR: Whatever. A bit like Star Trek?
Fran: More like Doctor Who, but with less of a special effects budget.
AMTVR: (Looks disbelievingly at her producer). So you are named after the hero –
Fran: He was a villain actually. He had a mechanical hand, though they only showed that when it blew up because they couldn’t afford the special effects.
AMTVR: Sorry, villain of an obscure British piece of sad space monkey tat. I’m sorry, my lobotomy cannot cope with this. You guys really are the most tedious sad dipshits in the world.
Fran: Ah well, I think you’ll find Arab Strap are more tedious.
AMTVR: That’s it. I’ve had enough. Fuck off out of here.
Fran: But its raining outside.


I Hate Music1 comment • 446 views


I have this cat that, for whatever reason, often shits on the floor. So that means that every morning, when I wake up, I have to pick up that cat’s little turds. Let’s imagine, for a moment, that instead of taking those feces and depositing them into the trash, I take them and stick them between two slices of bread. The resulting “sandwich,” if you will, is foul, disgusting, and rank. And yet, I’d rather eat that shit sandwich than be subjected for one minute to its aural counterpart, Nine Inch Nails.

Double Nickels On The Dime

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Double Nickels On The Dime gets the Western Homes treatment. I’ve often tried and failed to like the Minutemen, and I’ve tried and failed to work out why I’ve failed, too. File under: blind spot. The fecundity of Double Nickels might have been something to do with it – it’s kind of like 69 Love Songs for rock kids, and I can utterly see why people might not go for 69LS. At the end of his review, WH comments that putting a Minutemen track on the end of your next mix tape will “get results” – good grief, people! There are reasons to make mixtapes other than the ceasless pursuit of, ahem, “results”.

Admittedly they’re all less good reasons.

Western Homes says lots of nice things about us on his main page, too, which sparked many a thought this morning, which thoughts I’m now too busy to blog. Later, when I’m less hungover.


I Hate MusicPost a comment • 383 views


What the FUCK is going on here? You’ve got the unsuccessful one out of the Comic Strip – you know, the one who was so ‘cool’ and ‘out there’ that not even hitting people in the face with household objects and shouting about farts was ENOUGH, he had to SHOW his NON-CONFORMITY by taking a three-line cameo in Trainspotting and then sinking beneath the waters of showbiz
mediocrity where he belonged. You’ve got the one who cuts up animals and sticks them in tanks to show how NON-CONFORMIST and CONFRONTATIONAL he is – yes, he CARVES them UP showing us our MORTALITY and CONFRONTING us with, um, with something, anyway it’s AHHHHHT, daaaaaaaaaaaaaaahling. For Christ’s sake. I carved up a chicken myself over the weekend, but I didn’t stick it in formaldehyde and call it art, I ate the fucker and so should you, you twat. And then you’ve got Alex James. Ugh. Waiter, there’s something hideous floating in my soup. I think it’s Alex James. Take it away please.

You could probably explain away that little rant as merely jealousy at never getting invited to their little ‘do’s, mixed with a little anti-intellectualism as I’m obviously far too thick to understand Pickled Cow no.9. You could probably also say that my hatred of Alex James was irrational, especially considering that there are far more deserving targets, for example Liam Gallagher, who I haven’t had a real go at in days. Liam does actually remind me of one of those stinking chunks of birdshit that you can’t scrape away no matter how dry and mouldy they get, but that’s not the point. Christ, he’s a horrible little bastard… ANYWAY. Fat Les.

You COULD dismiss my hatred of this conglomeration of fear as anti-intellectualism and social jealousy… UNTIL THEY MADE VINDALOO. A NOVELTY record! A FOOTBALL song! Do you hate ALL novelty records? Where would we be if the FOOTBALL song were to die out? Personally, on this score I can safely say that if David Baddiel was ritually burnt, if the Lightning Seeds were to be shot with bullets until their riddled corpses fell off a hundred-foot cliff, and if 1966 were to be wiped from human memory – “I still remember that tackle by Moore BECAUSE I’M A SAD FAT WASTE OF A LIFE” – I would lose no sleep at all. THE POINT IS that this is NO ORDINARY NOVELTY FOOTBALL SONG. This is DEEPLY IRONIC. “We’re just having fun” grins Keith as he swims about in a big tank for a photo-op. “We wanted to do a pop record” smirks Damien as he lounges on a flourescent sofa in a clashing suit while the cameras make love to his sweaty frame. “Mmmmppphhrrrgg” shouts Alex through a mouthful of cake – the same cake which he is locking away in a cupboard, to own forever. Surely such a thing is not possible – but see! He has done it!

‘Vindaloo’ was presented to the magazines as IRONY-LADEN ‘It’s-only-pop-music-dahling’ AAAAAHT for the ‘in’ crowd at EXACTLY THE SAME MOMENT that skinheads o’er the land were kicking heads in while shouting ‘nah nah naaaah, nah nah naaaaaaah’. I could probably write a long, incisive COMMENT peice about this, about how easy it is to package a ‘hymn to diversity’ in ‘going home in an ambulance’ wrapping, or about how these people have their share of responsibility for the British Film Industry – i’m sorry, the British-Hype ‘Film’ Industry – I beg your pardon, for the ‘All-dahn-the-Nag’s-Head-avinaLAAAAARF-innit-ooh-got-my-hands-on-a-wad-of-Ayrton-Sennas-off-the-back-of -a-lorry-issa-deal-issa-steal-issa-sale-of-the-fackin-century-I’m-awfully-sorry-dahling-would-you-like-that -in-a-more-authentic-tone-of-voice-DDDDDAAAAHHHHNN-THE-NAAAAHHHHHHGGGG’s-EHHHHHD- MMMMAAAHHHH-SAAAAHHNN’ Industry… I could use ‘Vindaloo’ as a springboard for any number of justified rants, but instead I’ll simply say this:


And I’ll leave it at that.


New York London Paris MunichPost a comment • 345 views

DUEL! – ROUND 2: you know how I said that certain Duels! might be set up under the influence of alcohol? Well…um….uh….oh, nevermind. REM vs Embrace. Apologies for any perceived bias in the commentary. But not many apologies.