Which Decade Is Tops For Pops? Round 6: the Number 5s.
Although our scoreboard currently remains unchanged from last time, the inconclusive voting pattern of the previous round has left our middle-ranking decades in a constant state of flux, and the gap at the bottom of the table is beginning to narrow:
Cumulative scores so far:
1(1) The Eighties – 19.81 points.
2(2) The Nineties – 18.44 points.
3(3) The Teens – 17.44 points.
4(4) The Noughties – 17.42 points.
5(5) The Sixties – 16.33 points.
6(6) The Seventies – 15.56 points.
After the grimness of our last selection, will today’s Number Fives restore our spirits? We can but hope…
1960: Cliff Richard & The Shadows – Fall In Love With You (video: expired link fixed)
1970: Dana – All Kinds Of Everything (video) (Tom’s post on Popular)
1980: David Essex – Silver Dream Machine (video)
1990: The Adventures Of Stevie V – Dirty Cash (video)
2000: Sisqó – Thong Song (video)
2010: Aggro Santos ft Kimberly Wyatt – Candy (video)
(Download the MP3)
Over the last few years, I’ve become a good deal more enthusiastic about going to see “legends” playing live, while there’s still some life left in them. With this in mind, I felt compelled to attend last year’s 50th-anniversary-slash-reunion-slash-farewell-tour by Cliff Richard & The Shadows – just to witness a bit of history, and to cross Cliff of my seen-him-done-that list.
To my delight, Cliff and the boys opted to play it straight, eschewing all expected showbiz cheese in favour of fond, faithful renditions of their joint back catalogue. There were no Millennium Prayers, no Don’t Cry For Me Argentinas… indeed, nothing that was released after 1966. Hank Marvin was a revelation, and the numbers that the Shadows performed without Cliff were the highlights of a superb show. But, just as Mick Jagger has become the least interesting aspect of the Rolling Stones, Cliff proved to the least interesting aspect of the Shadows. Like Jagger, he had perfected all the moves, delivering them in a confident, capable, entertaining manner – but also like Jagger, I sensed a certain void at the core of his performance.
Occasionally, though, glimpses of something more heartfelt would seep to the surface – such as on a touching version of “The Next Time” from the Summer Holiday soundtrack, which topped the charts in 1962 as a double A-side with “Bachelor Boy”. And although the song itself is nothing special, I can hear similar qualities in “Fall In Love With You”. Cliff’s vocal is a delight here: a supine sigh, a velvet-toned and vulnerable swoon of surrender, accented here and there by Hank’s sparing twangs.
If, as someone said in an earlier round, Elvis was turning into Cliff imitating Elvis, then here (and on its accompanying video clip) we find Cliff, not yet fully sullied by Tin Pan Alley acquiescence, drawing continued inspiration from Presley, and sounding really rather marvellous with it.
One of the fringe benefits of shifting “Which Decade” to May is that we get to examine the occasional Eurovision entry – and so here’s the first of two in this year’s selection, courtesy of the first of Eurovision’s pair of victorious Danas. Dana International’s “Diva” famously brought it home for Israel in 1998, while in 1970′s contest, the honour fell to Dana Provincial (old joke, sorry), after a closely-fought battle with the UK’s Mary Hopkin and her sprightly “Knock Knock, Who’s There?”
And what a battle it was! Forget Blur vs. Oasis, forget Joe McElderry vs. Rage Against The Machine, forget Victoria Beckham vs. Sophie Ellis-Bextor… for this was the MOTHER of ALL such showdowns, dividing lovers of Simply Great Music everyhere – and even, on occasion, splitting families down the middle. How well I recall the struggles at the family gramophone, as my younger sister’s copy of “All Kinds Of Everything” fought for airtime against my copy of “Knock Knock, Who’s There?”… you WEREN’T THERE, man, you JUST COULDN’T KNOW.
“All Kinds” might be tweeness incarnate, its debt to “My Favourite Things” barely concealed, but its kitschy innocence still resonates. And, soppy old sausage that I am, I’ll take “dances, romances, things of the night” over “take a dirty picture, take a dirty picture of me”, every time.
David Essex is someone else that I’ve ticked off my see-him-before-he-sods-off list; sharing a bill with David Cassidy, The Osmonds and Les McKeown, he soared above them all, demonstrating a noble dignity that the others conspicuously lacked. His hit singles had a habit of lurching between boundary-nudging artistry and cheerily undemanding froth, and I’m not entirely sure in which category I should be placing “Silver Dream Machine”.
Taken from the soundtrack of Silver Dream Racer, in which Essex starred alongside Beau Bridges and Harry H. Corbett as a dashing motorbike racer of the Barry Sheene school, the song hasn’t worn as well as I had hoped – but typically for Essex, there’s a certain skewed oddness to its arrangement, underpinned by a rather fetching post-Moroder/pre-hi-energy ONG-DINGA-RONG-DINGA synth line. And you can’t go too far wrong with an ONG-DINGA-RONG-DINGA, can you?
I was a bit sniffy about The Adventures Of Stevie V‘s “Dirty Cash” when it came out, and I’ve never really understood why it did so well. Granted, its hook does the job – but there’s a doleful drag to its swagger, which drains it of life. In particular, there’s a fatal instrumental passage – just after the rap – where nothing seems to happen at all, transporting me right back to those dismal, blank moments on club dancefloors when the energy dips, and everyone around you looks a bit grim and a bit lost, and it’s clear that nobody’s much into the track, and you can’t remember why you’re dancing in the first place, but you’re kept in place by inertia and the vague hope that something better will come along in a moment. It’s not a memory that I welcome.
Consequently, I’m at a loss as to why Dizzee Rascal chose to update “Dirty Cash” as “Dirtee Cash” in 2009 – except that in Dizzee’s hands, the track becomes tighter, more purposeful, more provocative and heaps more fun. (We’ll pass over the recently charting Dizzee/Florence “You Got The Dirtee Love” mash-up, as nothing remains of Stevie V’s original composition.)
If, as has become axiomatic, we accept the assumption that 30 years ago = “timeless classic”, 20 years ago = “retro cool” and 10 years ago = “OMG, so naff, what were we thinking”, it would help us to understand why two acts from our 2000 Top Ten – Dane Bowers and Sisqó – fetched up drinking in Celebrity Big Brother‘s last chance saloon at the start of the year. The Reality TV gamble might have paid off handsomely for the Peter Andres of this world – but for the hapless, fifth-placed Sisqó (who largely came over well in the show), the rewards stretched no further than a chart re-entry for “Thong Song” at a lowly Number 97.
Although it would be silly to view it as anything more than a novelty hit, “Thong Song” has a counterbalancing elegance – a grace, even – which raises it a cut above your Lou Begas and your Afromans. I’m particularly taken by the stateliness of the string arrangement: as unlikely as a chamber ensemble in a titty bar, and all the more welcome for it.
One question remains, though. What are these pantechniconal DUMPS, of which our lisping, pint-sized, priapic Lothario so fondly speaks? I’m a man of the world; I know what HUMPS are. (Fergie has them!) But I am a stranger in Sisqó’s universe, and I require guidance.
As if two grime acts gone pop-dance weren’t enough, here’s a third: Brazilian born Aggro Santos, playing Taio Cruz to ex-Pussycat Doll Kimberly Wyatt’s Ke$ha. Once again, mucky photos are our loved-up twosome’s principal stock in trade. Once again, lazy raps and blank, bored, phoned-in vocals are plonked over lurching, juddering electro sound-farts. Once again, “candy” is deployed as a metaphor for slap and tickle. Once again, the influence of David Guetta and Fraser T. Smith looms large (although neither worked on this particular track). And yet, and yet… something about this particular configuration has drawn me into its clutches. It’s arguably 2010′s dumbest track yet – but there’s an unyielding ruthlessness to that dumbness, which I am powerless to resist.
Nevertheless, “Candy” is guilty of breaking one fundamental rule of contemporary pop: Thou Canst Never Sing About The Internet And Get Away With It. (Remember Mousse T’s “Horny”? That’s when the emergency legislation was passed.) Pop music should never reference the internet, just as politicians should never reference pop music (and to close the circle, perhaps new legislation should be drafted, limiting the internet from spouting off about politics).
Also, if you must sing about the internet, then a) don’t indulge in free product placement for bloody Facebook and b) don’t plug your bloody website, especially when all that greets you is a video for the same bloody song. (“Have you been to visit me at Aggro Santos dot com…” YES! I’M BLOODY HERE, YOU TURNIP!)
Sorry, folks. I had less than five hours sleep last night, I was in the office by 6:45, and I’m beginning to lose it. Let’s move on to the voting. Over to you, etc.
Length: 3:13 Played: 267 
Mike Atkinson in Which Decade Is Tops For Pops • 944 views
FINAL SCORES:
166 points: The Adventures Of Stevie V – Dirty Cash
151 points: David Essex – Silver Dream Machine
132 points: Sisqó – Thong Song
127 points: Cliff Richard & The Shadows – Fall In Love With You
111 points: Dana – All Kinds Of Everything
111 points: Aggro Santos ft Kimberly Wyatt – Candy
My votes:
6 points: Cliff Richard & The Shadows – Fall In Love With You
5 points: Sisqó – Thong Song
4 points: Dana – All Kinds Of Everything
3 points: Aggro Santos ft Kimberly Wyatt – Candy
2 points: David Essex – Silver Dream Machine
1 point: The Adventures Of Stevie V – Dirty Cash
6 – Sisqo. This record is truly glorious in just about every way possible. I adore it.
5 – Aggro Santos
4 – Stevie V
3 – Cliff
2 – David Essex
1 – Dana. This is truly dreadful.
Ah! That’s more like it.
6 – Dana. I mean, not something I’d particularly feel comfortable with winding the windows down and cruising down the sea front, but it’s a nice, cheerful, memorable song of its era that’s beautifully sung.
5 – David Essex. Listening to this again for the first time in years I immediately thought ‘New Order’.
4 – Cliff. Yes – there’s a Shadows gig on permanent rotation on the Sky Arts channel, and some of their stuff is really interesting. Although they DO play the cheese stuff.
3 – Aggro. Would have been placed far higher had it fallen in the last couple of votes.
2 – Sisqo – I don’t have a lot to say about this. It just is.
1 – Stevie V is just a little lowest common denominator for me.
And again I only know half of them but this is the first 10s song I’ve not heard before.
6: Sisqo – was totally meh on this at the time tho thought it was quite funny…a few years later it’s greatness became much clearer. Tom’s original review of it on FT sums it up in fine style.
5: The Adventures Of Stevie V – Another fine slice of 1990 dance
4: David Essex – Geezer’s gone disco but that cheeky Moroder effect in the background, tho maybe a bit ham-fisted, be welcome
3: Cliff Richard & The Shadows – Sedate and amiable but not really enough there
2: Dana – My Grans probably liked it
1: Aggro Santos – YAAAAAWWWWWNNNN moratorium on people mentioning social networking in songs please – actually moratorium on pretty much everything going on in this would be great
6 – David Essex – Ah! Dear David, lovely *and* brilliant, trying to do something interesting and unexpected with pop. Functions as both stirring film theme and cyberman pop.
5 – Aggro Santos – Nasty, meaning both sharply and darkly attractive and memorably horrible and inhuman.
4 – Cliff – That’s a version of romance that I can respond to with empathy!
3 – Sisqo – Can’t really engage with this.
2 – Dana – However, I know where *she’s* coming from… Would rather hear the Sinead & Terry Hall cover.
1 – Stevie V – As Mike says, less distinctive than your memory imagines it to be.
Can find stuff to like and dislike in all the top four, it’s a close thing, and again I’m amazed I’m puting the 90s top. But as Tom’s principle in Popular goes, it’s how the track catches you on the day.
1990 Stevie V – yes, maybe you have a point about the 20 years principle. This sounds rather better now than I remember it, and part of it is the sheer certainty, the confidence, of the production. Even the rap, the weakest link by far, is there and gone before too long.
1980 David Essex – what a pro, his vocal totally outclassing a rather rubbish lyric and naff production. As Essex films go, you can’t beat the duo of That’ll Be The Day and Stardust.
1960 Cliff – you can see why he was a teen idol, and why Cristiano Ronaldo is likened to the young Cliff! The song’s a slight thing though, and not all that charming with it.
2000 Sisqo – well at least it’s better soft porn than Taio Cruz! Ever second bloody video looks like this nowadays… This one is quite fun actually – thong in cheek, if you will.
1970 Dana – did I say “slight thing”? This is slighter, and less folky than I remember it somehow – I don’t know how this varies from the version she performed at Eurovision, but they’ve turned the “twee” knob up to 11 on this. I notice the comments on the YouTube clip are in French and German enjoying the nostalgia…
2010 Aggro Santos – boring as —-. Oh god, that .com line : (((
Comments later, if i get time, in a bit of a rush today. Am still cringing at what *my* era (i.e. the 70s) are coming up with however.
6pts – Stevie V
5pts – Cliff
4pts – Sisqo
3pts – David Essex
2pts – Aggro Santos
1pt – Dana
These are a bit better than the last lot
6: Cliff
A hint of the past with a melody reminiscent of Buddy Holly and a suggestion of Rufus Wainwright in the future with the coy glances and curling lip. I love the way he works the camera in the Youtube clip.
5: The Adventures Of Stevie V
I like the bass the squeak and sax samples. Female rappers are usually good value and this one is no exception – short and sour
4: Sisqo
Fantastic production with precision beats, bass and backing vocals. Loses marks for a key change. The change to fluorescence in the video seems like a preview of BEP’s ‘IGAF’ (and the Aggro Santos video for that matter)
3: Aggro Santos
The synths remind me of Gary Numan and early Human League – buzzy and repetitive – a good thing. I like the woman’s part although the main man was irritating.
2: David Essex
Dreary and redundant, real bikers would prefer ‘Silver Machine’
1: Dana
A watered down version of ‘My favourite things’ sung by an asthmatic.
Some gems here:
6 points-David Essex
5 points-Cliff
4 points-Stevie V
3 points-Sisqo
2 points-Aggro Santos
1 point-Dana
To business then! Dana, again associated with a memory of my Mum singing this while doing the ironing, and bless her she couldn’t quite get the high notes, or the low notes, or the notes inbetween for that matter. Ah yes, there’s quite a few songs associated with my mum at her ironing board. I’m not reviewing Dana here, but my mum, I know but DAMN!
Aggro Santos’ Candy, for the last few days has been blaring out of my radio on the drive home from work. Thanks, Mr Scott Mills, for making my drive home a little less pleasurable…now get on with Oh, What’s Occurring!
Sisqo’s Thong Song. Mike’s spot on with his chamber ensemble in the Titty Bar. Improbably classy.
I have quite a bit of fondness for Stevie’s Dirty Cash. It’s a halfway through the night song. The club is full, the drinks are kicking in and you know pretty soon the DJ’s gonna drop some Techno/Acid House and we can do that bigfishlittlefishcardboardbox dance.
We have suffocated under the weight of the unbridled crap he has foisted upon us in recent memory, but Cliff wouldn’t have had the chance if it wasn’t for gorgeous little ditties like this.
So full marks for David Essex. I have to be honest and say I haven’t heard Silver Dream Machine in yonks, but that Moroderish synth is a thing of wonder isn’t it? The film was a fun watch as well.
“After the grimness of our last selection, will today’s Number Fives restore our spirits?”
Erm, no.
6 – stevie v
5 – sisqo
4 – david essex
3 – aggro santos
2 – cliff richard
1 – dana
6 – Stevie V
5 – Aggro Santos
4 – Dana
3 – David Essex
2 – The Cliffster
1 – Sisqó
6p: David Essex
5p: Aggro Santos ft Kimberly Wyatt
4p: Cliff Richard & The Shadows
3p: Sisqó
2p: Dana
1p: The Adventures Of Stevie V
6 points – Aggro Santos ft Kimberly Wyatt
5 points – David Essex
4 points – Dana
3 points – Cliff Richard & The Shadows
2 points – Sisqó
1 point – The Adventures of Stevie V
Fascinating round. Every song but Stevie has something to like, and flaws. The top 3 have something great but that aspect is not sustained. Ultimately, Aggro wins on sheer hookiness — if it dispensed with the Autotune, it would be an even clearer number 1.
Trying to put these in some sort of order of preference defeated me.
Mike, I’ve run out of bandwidth for this month. Are you going to be running it into June? If so, I’ll try and catch up then.
Amanda, “Which Decade” will be running into June. I’m aiming to get three more posts up during the coming week, then the “Number One” post a week tomorrow (May 31). Then there will be a few more days of voting before I post the results.
6 – The Adventures of Stevie V
5 – Sisqó
4 – Dana
3 – Aggro Santos ft Kimberly Wyatt
2 – David Essex
1 – Cliff Richard & The Shadows
An even tighter round here: Aggro Santos and Dana are clearly trailing, but just three points currently separate the remaining four tracks.
6 points – Dana
5 points – Sir Cliff
4 points – Sisqo
3 points – David Essex
2 points – Stevie V
1 point – Aggros Santos
Contrary to my earlier bitching, nowhere near as bad as the 6s but still hard to separate.
6 – Stevie V – As I feared, a better tune than a 16 yo indie-kid gave credit to.
5 – Aggro – This could well become annoying on repeated listening but only heard a few times so far and still sounds fresh.
4 – Sisqo – May have scored higher but for the ridiculousness of the subject matter.
3 – David – Can’t actually remember how it went and only listened to 20min ago.
2 – Cliff – Dull
1 – Dana – My mum liked this.
6 – The Adventures of Stevie V
5 – David Essex
4 – Cliff Richard & The Shadows
3 – Aggro Santos ft Kimberly Wyatt
2 – Sisqó
1 – Dana
The first is the only one I actually like, and the bottom four are all pretty poor.
Well, this is a bit more interesting. Only a bit, mind.
6 points – Adventures of Stevie V: if “The Power” ushered in a certain tinge of ominosity with regard to the raving rainbow coalitions of the period, “Dirty Cash” deepened it – that wonderful Euroamerican “where-exactly-are-we/not quite fitting together as the pieces should” no man’s land where the voices, saxophonic Greek chorus and samples don’t quite hang together, like a bunch of competing freedom fighters all unaccountably marooned in the same Munich lift.
5 points – Sisqó: nothing really to add to M’s description; the song’s innate dignity saves it from soiling its pants, or at least averts our fatal gaze. Again, it’s all to do with the knowledge that deeper down things are not quite as clean as they would wish to appear.
4 points – Dana: have to go along with the sentimentality surrender; it was, like most Eurovision winners, a pretty political affair (and that “pretty” is not a spurious addition) with an essential sweetness which always seemed to swerve around Ruby Murray. Sweet, and I use that word as the highest of complements. But what do I know? Over the weekend we heard Melba Montgomery’s original 1974 version of “No Charge.” Lena thinks it’s a fine and touching little song and therefore so do I. See, that’s the thing about being with someone; it changes your views on a lot of things, music being not the least of them.
3 points – David Essex: oh David, BLESS your low-budget avant-garde idolatry. Of his Phonogram period, not quite up to the remarkable standard of the previous year’s “Imperial Wizard” (“HUNGARY is HUNGRY and the PEOPLE are BROKE!!”) or 1982’s “Me And My Girl (Night-Clubbing)” but surely he is the Robin Nedwell to Peter Hammill’s Antony Sher.
2 points – Aggro Santos ft Robert Wyatt: “Survivor” by Destiny’s Child repudiates your internet/music argument singlehanded, sir. But I don’t think this non-song is what Sigue Sigue Sputnik meant or intended. How many of These People have I unfollowed on Twitter for basically doing nothing other than advertise themselves? About the internet and politics: well, it is a bit Daily Mail Island out there for sure but then it’s down to the wiser people to provide the argument for carrying on.
1 point – Cliff n’ the Shads: doesn’t do anything for me or to me at all – as a song it barely exists – but Lena puts the case far more convincingly here.
Another grim selection of songs.
6. David Essex
5. Stevie V
4. Aggro Santos – would’ve scored higher but let down by the dreadful autotuned chorus
3. Dana
2. Cliff – there’s barely a song there
1. Sisqo – pathetic
Sorry for missing a couple of weeks, but you know how it is…
The marks from the Clapham Jury are:
6p: David Essex – what a legend
5p: The Adventures Of Stevie V – come on, so many memories and such a great track
4p: Dana – enough said…
3p: Sisqó – that thong song, just so wrong!
2p: Cliff Richard & The Shadows – no comment really – it’s Cliff
1p: Aggro Santos ft Kimberly Wyatt – who? Sorry if that is off the mark, but hey, there it is! Mx
Easy to start at the bottom of this pile (bottom, thong, see what I did there). Atrocious and annonying track. The middle runners not really much between them but Dirty Cash still chugs along nicely.
6 points: The Adventures Of Stevie V – Dirty Cash
5 points: David Essex – Silver Dream Machine
4 points: Dana – All Kinds Of Everything
3 points: Cliff Richard & The Shadows – Fall In Love With You
2 points: Aggro Santos ft Kimberly Wyatt – Candy
1 point: Sisqó – Thong Song
6 David Essex – Better than this lot but way down the pecking order of Essex singles.
5 Dana – Pretty and sincere if a little vapid.
4 Stevie V – Decent groove but the rap let’s it down.
3 Cliff & The Shads – Ok it’s nice – just nice.
2 Sisqo – Just inconsequential fluff really.
1 Aggro Santos – Yet another dreadfully derivative computerised piece of drivel. Anti-pop.
To quote a song, it’s getting better all the time here…
6 – The Adventures of Stevie V – I’m not arguing with Dizzee Rascal on this, nor anyone else, either…
5 – Dana – This song made me cry once. Enough said.
4 – Sisqo – Ah, remember when thongs were popular? This is better than I remembered…
3 – David Essex – Actually not bad, though not his best…
2 – Aggro Santos with the PCD Kimberly, not the Girls Aloud Kimberly – The candy metaphor strikes again. Inane but in a good way.
1 – Cliff and the Shads – as mentioned in #22 I have written about this already. Ah girls!
Let me just link to Lena’s piece on the Cliff song, from her great UK Number Twos blog, a little more conspicuously: http://musicsoundsbetterwithtwo.blogspot.com/2009/11/we-love-you-cliff-oh-yes-we-do-cliff.html
Thanks Mike! I will be getting back to it tomorrow, for sure!
6 points – dana
5 points – the adventures of stevie v
4 points – cliff & the shadows
3 points – david essex
2 points – sisqo
1 point – aggro santos
back to the heights! Four great songs battling it out for hotly contested top spots with two bringing up the rear.
6 points – Stevie V – A dancefloor smash WITH A MESSAGE. Impossible not to dance to this one.
5 points – David Essex – surprisingly durable! Really captures some nebulous mixture of the spacey 70s and the grasping 80s. David’s dream will end with dirty cash!
4 points – Aggro Santos – Why am I such a sucker for songs about mobiles, facebook, dot-com adresses and so on? nearly toppled Essex with that ‘dot-com’ line. I must be enjoying living IN THE FUTURE.
3 points – Sisqo – Thong thong thong thong thong. Catchy stuff. If it had gone one place lower in the charts it would have grabbed the crown.
2 points – Dana – One of the most sugary-sweet songs I’ve ever heard, but doesn’t quite cross into saccharine.
1 points – Cliff Richard – COME TO HAWAII WITH ME FOR SOME CHASTE HANDHOLDING. The band and the singer want to be in different places ie choirboy vs cowboys. Also sounds very frankenstein-y – I’m sure I’ve heard big swathes of this in other songs.
Having now read the article (I don’t before I vote) I’m struck by the contrast between my love of lyrics referencing THE INTERNET and Mike’s obvious dislike of them. I wonder where other people fall on this marmite-like divide?
This: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zVBVOmn8-rY clinches it for me. songs about the internets rock.
good round, the top four could be in any order, but (almost at random) i’ve gone for
sisquo – seemingly a nice bloke, his sound is super classy, and i admire the extent to which he really does want to see that thong.
essex – excellent not-quite-right futurism from another nice bloke
aggro – modern romance. nice.
stevie v – it’s quite a hook
dana – thought i didn’t actually know this. i do.
cliff and co. – didn’t really notice it go by.
6 Sisqo – one of the best key changes in pop ever
5 David Essex – musically alludes to something more space age than a Norton
4 Cliff & The Shadows – more Ricky Nelson than Elvis, suits his creamy voice just fine
3 Dana – “things of the sea”
2 Aggro Santos – 2010 identikit pop without Dirty Picture’s “oooh, sauce” nov value
1 Stevie V – cold, dull, just don’t get it, soz
6pts Sisqo- Love the strings, love the whole arrangement, and for a song about underwear, I suspect the glossing was intentional.
5pts- Aggro Santos and Whats’ername- It’s catchy. It’s summer. I could change my mind tomorrow about the placement of this one because I feel the female half of this duo is doing a fairly lame Lady Gagga impression.
4 pts- Cliff and the Shadows It’s just soooo Wonderbread.
3-pts David Essex- I think of his vocal style in this as 80s Perry Como. I really do get the impression he’s just one more verse away from a nap.
2 pts- Stevie V- Droning droning thump, swagger, oh, let’s just go home. Yes Mike, I agree with you on this one. Dance floor buzz kill.
1pt- Dana – This would make a lovely children’s lullaby if you’re willing to risk insulin shock.
Oh dear – takes me back to Cliff trying to be like Elvis, only nice, and David trying to appeal to the girls while not wanting to annoy their mums. And Dana making my teeth hurt with sweetness. So reassuring to know that, while I may be old and grumpy, I was once young and grumpy.
Unlike most of you others, I didn’t much like anything here. I’m sorry that the oldies not at their best beat the more modern stuff, but there we go.
6 points – Cliff Richard & The Shadows
5 points – David Essex
4 points – Dana
3 points – Sisqó
2 points- The Adventures Of Stevie V
1 point – Aggro Santos ft Kimberly Wyatt
Now this really is a horrid selection.
6 points – David Essex (proves what an awful selection it is if the Essex is in top spot)
5 points – Cliff
4 points – Dana (although this is so sweet it could give you tooth decay at fifty paces)
3 points – Adventures of Stevie V
2 points – Aggro Santos
1 point – Sisqo
Never heard that Cliff/Shads song before which is weird given the world I grew up in – got better as it went along. Never noticed the awful arrangement of All Kinds of Everything… I also never noticed the “things of the night” lyric – is that like vampires and werewolves? I always want to like David Essex because he seems like a really nice bloke – but oh… the flatness of it… and again the 90s,00s and 10s are completely new to me. I like Dirty Cash… or did until the rap happened… Sisqo = dreadful, dull and really… “let me see that thong” – ugh! Similar reaction to Candy…
6 points The Adventures of Stevie V
5 points Cliff Richard & The Shadows
4 points David Essex
3 points Dana
2 points Aggro Santos ft Kimberly Wyatt
1 point Sisqo
6 Points: Aggro Santos ft Kimberly Wyatt
5 Points: Cliff Richard & The Shadows
4 Points: The Adventures Of Stevie V
3 Points: Dana
2 Points: Sisqó
1 Points: David Essex
6pts – Adventures of Stevie V.
5pts – Dana
4pts – David Essex
3pts – Sisqo
2pts – Cliff Richard
1pt – Aggro Santos
Time to catch up on Which Decade! These are pretty good for the most part!
6 – ADVENTURES OF STEVIE V – Spartan and cold but no more so than Killer!
5 – SISQO – This won a Pop Music Focus Group back in the day, stands
4 – SIR CLIFF – Pure 1960 sweetness, if the whole chart had been like this it would be in with a shout I’d hope.
3 – AGGRO SANTOS – I am with Al on the merits of putting yr website into the song as a big advert! Not sure WHY he does it since web ads pay even less than the record biz.
2 – DAVID ESSEX – Endearingly galumphing.
1 – DANA – Was I harsh on it? In tone perhaps but not in essence.
1990: The Adventures Of Stevie V – Dirty Cash
2000: Sisqó – Thong Song
2010: Aggro Santos ft Kimberly Wyatt – Candy
1970: Dana – All Kinds Of Everything
1960: Cliff Richard & The Shadows – Fall In Love With You
1980: David Essex – Silver Dream Machine
Dana: THINGS OF THE SEA <— this is what reminds me of you! I would like this uberperky kidsong more if she expanded on this insight. Also made more of the peculiar slipperiness of her accent.
Santos: I rather like the video as a a tale of ordinary clubbing sexfail (the two prefer to dance than get it together, in various difft types of club during one fun unsexy evening); the song is a soundtrack though, not a song…
Essex: I love him like a big brother but this is v.ploddy given the glide it aspires to.
Sir Cliff: the linked video has been removed* — I found another performance, on TV, but it may not be representative….
*Mike at admin: to draw to yr attention?
Oh dear, I had a feeling that Cliff/Shads vids might not last too long on YouTube. I had a similar problem sourcing The Shads’ “Argentina” last year.
Anyway, here’s a link to the original studio version.
Hardest round so far, except for the 6 pointer, which was easy.
6 – Adventures Of Stevie V
5 – David Essex. Wasn’t expecting that.
4 – Cliff Richard
3 – Dana. Mary Hopkin is better.
2 – Aggro Santos. Don’t mind the synths, but hate the lyric
1 – Sisqo
6 points SISQO
5 points Adevntures of Stevie V
4 points – Clif RIchard & The SHadows
3 points – Aggro Santos (urgh but hell of reluctantly it is kind of gross)
2 pts – David Essex – can’t relate to this at all but will give it the benefit over Dana
1 points – Dana (ick horrid)
6 points – The Adventures of Stevie V
5 points – David Essex
4 points – Sisqo
3 points – Aggro Santos
2 points – Dana
1 point – Cliff Richard