May 04

Why Superman is rubbish

The Brown Wedge6 comments • 1,739 views

Why Superman is rubbish. Or to be more precise, a Time article on why Superman is rubbish at the moment. If one bypasses obvious small reasons like Chuck Austen writing one of them, the article misses out the real reason. Superman is, with one exception, always going to be rubbish.

There is really only one Superman story that actually works dramatically. And that is pretty much the origin. Not the infant rocketed from Krypton bit, as writers of even more ill-considered archetypal rip-offs have found (step up Supreme and Mr Majestic). Rather the appearance of an all powerful superhuman who can do anything. The realisation that this demi-god walks among us is the the novelty in the story, the seeming limitless bounds of his powers. Any other story is merely an addendum, Superman can beat up anyone effortlessly.

The answers to this problem effectively destroy the essence of the character. Depowering him makes him “considerably less that Superman”. Creating villians who are as powerful or more so remove his uniqueness. Creating new weaknesses again makes him less Super. Putting him in a world of other superheroes does not really help, they will always be contrasted against him. The hook of the all-powerful Superman is also what makes him impossible to write. Especially for seventy years.


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    […] Zatanna is a magician. And a super-hero. Her power is that she is a magician. But this being comics, she can actually DO magic. Basically if she says something backwards like “sehtolc lausac raew” her wardrobe would be automatically toned down from the fishnets and boots you cannot bend your legs in as seen here. Magic in comics is, on the whole, a bit rubbish. On the basic, Zatanna level, it generally allows the character to do anything. This is more powerful than Superman, and we know why that is a problem. At a more complex level, it means that the writers quickly have to insert some rules about how the magic is used. And once magic is subject to rules, it seems to become less magical. […]

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    A Glackin on 22 Nov 2007 #

    Why Supeman sucks ass. I loved comics as a nipper but always despised superman. I bought the one where he dies twice just to make sure. The reasons superman sucks ass are simple, despite being an alien with God like powers he was a bland boy scout whith no depth of characther. Second reason he blows, he had God like powers. If a dude can turn back time by flying round the planet or come back from the dead its only natural your going to root for the underdog – i.e the bad guy. The things that i hated about superman where the strengths of Batman. Batman couldnt do shit, his power was being mental in the head and pretending hes a ninja. In adition Batman looked like a bad ass and didnt dress like he was going on a gay pride march.

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    Al Ewing on 23 Nov 2007 #

    ‘Batman… didnt dress like he was going on a gay pride march’

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    Al Ewing on 23 Nov 2007 #

    Image failure. Rainbow Batman to thread plz.

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    Anthony on 21 Oct 2009 #

    “Superman is rubbish”, my ass!!!! All you haters are out of your minds!! You can take all your ignorant words and stuff it. And it’s just a suit – a tradtional suit and just because he wears those, does not mean he’s gay and at least he’s manly about it!!!! Superman has been around 60+ years and still going strong and that says a lot and has inspired me and sooooooo many people around world And I am sick of some of these damn people saying such ignorant bullshit about this character. This is why they need to revamp the superman movie franchise, and showing all the ignorant fool how cool this character really is!

    And potenially more powerful than you think. First of all he hold back a lot of power – a hell of a lot of power because he’s afraind of hurting people of someone could die, according to the comics. and if he flies towards or into the sun, he would absorb the yellow sun’s energy and become even more powerful, capable of reaching godlike levels, also from the comics. and from the information I gathered, I heard DC and writers of the hit tv show, “Smallville”, (in which show I like and support it becasue how much of a fan I am) are reverting Superman’s power ot pre-crisis levels. If that be that case, great!

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    Drake on 11 May 2010 #

    Superman can’t even be considered a hero. Hero’s are brave, selfless people that make sacrifices. Superman risks nothing by saving people. He doesn’t have to courageous, have any skills, he doesn’t have to be careful, he doesn’t have to worry about dieing. He doesn’t even have a disguise himself.” I’m superman I put a little twist in my hair and took off my glasses. Now I’m completely unfuckingrecognizeable It’s a good thing I don’t have to be creative.” His weaknesses are almost never exploited and never pose any real threat anyway. And he’s never had to deal with the public thinking he might be evil. Jesus had to wald a more difficult path. Superman shows up and everybody just hops on his dick. In all respects he is a BULLSHIT HERO. His storied aren’t even interesting.

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