Jan 19

The Freaky Trigger Readers’ Poll 2018: #10-#1

FT13 comments • 982 views

“Bonjour dudes, it’s me, the Lascaux Cave Paintings, specifically the one where a bull with a spear through its arse is goring a bloke to death while a chicken on a stick looks the other way. Thanks to my 17,000 years of experience in human culture I’ve been asked to introduce your ‘Déclencheur Bizarre‘ top songs of 2018, which I’d imagine to be similar in tone and lyrical content to the neolithic ditties my creators hummed as they daubed a mixture of blood, mud, iron oxide, charcoal and ochre into the shapes of animals they depended on for survival and revered as primitive gods. Unfortunately when I was opened up to the public in 1948, exposure to the elements caused layers of fungus and lichen to develop on my walls, so I’m a bit sourd in one ear now. Nevertheless as the test of time is the only true measure of artistic achievement, I can safely say that the pinnacle of cultural content is a massive bull with a spear through its arse, goring a bloke to death while a chicken on a stick looks the other way. Ed Sheeran needs to pull his socks up if he’s going to compete with this bad boy.”

Thanks Monsieur Taureau Rouge! Ed does feature below (sort of) but I’m not sure he’d be happy about it. Let’s have a look at the Top 10.


Jan 19

The Freaky Trigger Readers’ Poll 2018: #20-#11

FT9 comments • 965 views

“Howdy! It’s me, Pizza Rat! You may remember me as the heartwarming if somewhat unhygienic meme from 2015, back in the days before… some stuff happened. Don’t ask me what though, the average lifespan for a rat is about 2 years so given my high cholesterol diet I’m likely to be dead now! But as I’m such an inspiring motivational figure I will throw out a prediction for you all: I bet those great pictures of Pluto, taken on the edge of our solar system in a feat of technical endeavour, will have inspired humanity to look outwards to the stars rather than squabbling amongst yourselves, and world peace will be well on its way! Plus I hear that David Bowie has been making an album on the hush-hush? That’s sure to be good!”

Another cheerful intro message, thanks Pizza Rat. Let’s see how #20-#11 turned out:


Jan 19

The Freaky Trigger Movie Poll 2018: #20 – #11

Do You See13 comments • 649 views

Into the top-twenty-verse, as all the cool kids would say. A lot of good films here (a few I cared for less too but hey, opinions are like arseholes right?) THis is where the films I were worried wouldn’t make it, made it – the years best Hollywood comedy, the Netflix Oscar bait, a bit of European political activism and the odd idea idea that Meryl Streep looked like Lily James in the seventies (even though we know what Meryl Streep looked like in the seventies). And possibly the signature visual moment of the year (if you don’t count cleaning up dogshit in Roma).


Jan 19

The Freaky Trigger Readers’ Poll 2018: #30-#21

FT8 comments • 713 views

“Noswaith dda! Dwi’n Duo, y tylluanod Cymreig! Roeddwn i’n siomedig iawn am fod Kat yn rhoi’r gorau i wneud Duolingo y llynedd. Gwn ei bod hi’n brysur iawn, ond mae fy planed yn marw, ac mae angen Quosh arnom. Pam ydych chi wedi ein gadael pan fydd angen help arnom fwyaf? Nid yw Google Translate yn ddigon… mae’r cywion, maen nhw’n crio am eu mam … beth ddylwn i ei ddweud wrthynt, Kat?”

Diolch, Duo! That’s all the Welsh I can remember I’m afraid. I’m sure your message is as encouraging and cheery as ever though! On to the next batch of results:


Jan 19

The Freaky Trigger Movie Poll 2018: #30 – #21

Do You See8 comments • 564 views

And we’re back, to the next segment. I promised you Jean Luc Godard and he does feature in one of the films below, but even his hardcore fans couldn’t push his most recent offering into the top forty.

So we have another all female heist, another musical remake, and of course the multi-million dollar bummer that was the Malthusian death of half of all the living creatures in the Universe. Fun fun fun…


Jan 19

The Freaky Trigger Readers’ Poll 2018: #40-#31

FT/14 comments • 1,381 views

Greetings! It’s me, 90’s summer dance craze The Macarena. I’ve never really gone away, as you must surely know: the muscle memory of hand flips and hip wiggles is ingrained into the very fabric of your DNA, to be passed down to your heirs and their heirs for many centuries hence, waxing on and waxing off, a ritual movement surging through their synapses that they can neither explain nor resist, all meaning lost in time save for the mythical figure of The Boy Whose Name Is Victorino and a vague feeling it has something to do with a Brazilian football stadium. Beat that, Drake! Welcome to the 2018 Freaky Trigger Readers’ Poll…

Thanks, The Macarena. Let’s get cracking!


Jan 19

The Freaky Trigger Movie Poll 2018: #40 – #31

Do You See18 comments • 1,446 views

So as per usual I will be dispatching the movie poll results in batches of ten, which might start in a puppydog quick fashion, and finally limp out the final ten in the middle of February. Well we will see…

Some stats this year – we received 24 full ballots, and in all 131 films were nominated, with 66 films receiving more than one vote and therefore eligible for the list. If films tied for points, the one with the larger number of individual ballots scored higher. Which is exactly what happened at number 40, so sorry to joint 41 “The Hate U Give” and “Disobedience” you just got pipped by this pair of pretty little psychos:


Jan 19

INTRODUCING the FT Theatre Poll 2018!

FT/2 comments • 375 views

Hello and happy new year! It is I, Cameron Mackintosh, the world’s most powerful and most 80s theatre producer. Les Miserables, The Phantom of the Opera, CATS – I’m kind of a big deal guys!!!!! 

Thanks Cam! On the principle that every drunk idea at Pete’s flat is a good idea, today now presenting the first ever FT Theatre Poll! That’s right we’re a cultured bunch at FT Towers and imagine some of our esteemed readership are too, or at least have taken their mum to see 42nd Street or something.

The rules will be familiar to you from other such polls, but to summarise:

  • Rank your top three, top five, top ten, top whatever number of theatre shows you saw in the UK in 2018. Your number one gets more points than your number five. If you do not rank them a ranking will be randomly assigned.
  • Send them to fttheatrepoll AT gmail dotcom by 20 January at 11:59pm.
  • It doesn’t matter if it was a revival, a Fringe thing, a million year running West End show, the nativity play your least favourite nephew was in, if you saw people in a room doing some acting, it is theatre and it counts.
  • Comedy is comedy and is different, there will be no further discussion on this thank you.

Happy ranking dahhhhhlings, kiss kiss!

Dec 18

The Freaky Trigger Readers’ Poll 2018

FT10 comments • 765 views

Greetings, I am the renowned, cross-eyed clairvoyant, Mystic Meg. I’m here, to predict, in a deliberately awkward intonation, that the numbers 3826546, and i, and the colour “bergerac”, will be impoooortant. People who stock up on olives, and loo paper, and prosecco, will be lucky in the post-Brexit bartering economyyyyyy. If you doubt, the accuracy, of my prognosis, then you can take it up with the Broadcasting Standards Authorityyyyyy.

Thanks Mystic Meg. The Freaky Trigger 2018 poll is now open!

Rules are copied and pasted from last year:

– Choose up to 20 of your favourite tracks of 2018. I am extremely unlikely to check release dates, but if one of your choices appeared in last year’s poll, I’ll get in touch and ask you to choose another track.
– If you don’t have 20 tracks then 10 or 3 or even 1 is fine.
– If you like, put them in order (#1 will get more points than #20), otherwise I’ll assign them a random order.
– Email them to poptimistspoll2010@gmail.com by 23.59pm GMT on 31st December.
– If you are reading this, you are eligible to vote!

Bonus orgafun: tell us one (1) album you enjoyed in 2018. These won’t be ranked, I’ll just post the list of everyone’s choices at the end.

That’s your lot! Feel free to plug your own picks in the comments.