The competition is obviously a fierce one (not just handbags at ten paces), but my least favourite came up again tonight, watching Norwich vs Manchester City. Dean Ashton scored a really delightful goal, a high ball coming in while he was moving across to the left and away from the goal, and he kind of hooked it back with his right foot as a glorious lob volley into the far corner. The commentators quite rightly raved about it for a while, and once they had calmed down, they came up with the meme I am talking about: the traditional phrasing is “If that had been a Brazilian player, we’d be raving about it!” What makes this so totally lame is that it has of course never ever* been uttered other than when they have been raving about it for some time.

* yes, I have checked every football commentary ever