17
Aug 04

Olympic Avoidance Log: Opening Ceremony / L.B. Volleyball / 3D Eventing

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Olympic Avoidance Log

I hate the Olympics, and much like the Soviet Bloc in 1984 am boycotting them. However this boycott is jolly hard to effect; it is difficult with the mass media coverage. So I shall blog here when I actually accidentally catch the wretched thing. Here is the horror so far:

Opening ceremony: because that’s just about flag waving, camcorders and inflatables which tell stories of the battles of the Greek Gods (ie not sport). A brief moment of interest in the order of the teams (Greek Alphabet) put off considerably by the appalling outfits of the Germans. Ten minutes.

Ladies Beach Volleyball:
Brazil vs Norway. Not a complete turn-off this, if only for the question of where Norway train. Frankly the perma-tans on both sides were such that without the skimpy sportswear one would be none the wiser. Surprisingly empty stadium considering that sportswise this is supposedly the equivalent of Anna Kournikova and Maria Sharapova playing doubles against themselves. Brazil won, and I assume toddled off to get the sand out of their pants. Six minutes.

Three Day Eventing: I must admit it was initially unclear exactly what the woman with the cravat was banging on about when I switched on BBC Breakfast this morning. Idiot Pete. She had a riding helmet on. I got instantly confused when she said the course was easier then badminton, which shows exactly how addled my brain was, but when they showed her horse jumping over some fishing boats I was initially impressed until my Olympic fear kicked in. Three minutes.

TOTAL SO FAR: NINETEEN OLYMPIAN MINUTES.
TARGET: UNDER AN HOUR.

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