In the shop on the way back to P’s yesterday I wondered why my throat seemed stiff and I couldn’t breathe clearly. Then I remembered that I was wearing a tie. See, I only wear these bastards like three times a year tops — job interviews, weddings (if I can’t avoid it, open collar often goes down fine), funerals. (And with funerals one of my uncles always sidles up to me and straightens it for me, which is quite sweet, really.) At the moment circumstances dictate several hours of being tied up (DO YOU SEE!!) over three days. Grrrrr. So what I want to know is: WHY TIES? What’s the fucking point? Which arsehole thought this shit up? And where can I join a queue to kick his corporate ass. Peace out, dude.