Temp 1 (english): I’ve just got back from a month in mexico
Temp 2 (kiwi): [mildly unimpressed] oh really
Temp 1: [clearly hoping this would ring bells] yeah, there was surf in Cancun after the hurricane [which clearly I am being v blasé about, but PLEASE ASK ME], which is unusual cos it’s on the carribean coast
Temp 2: oh right
Temp 1: [who I guess, had picked up that T2 was an surfer earlier] cos most of the surf’s on the other coast innit. Is it the pacific?

At this point I had to stop myself throttling the poor girl whilst shouting “YOU HAVE BEEN THERE FOR A MONTH, HOW CAN YOU NOT KNOW????? WHICH OCEAN MIGHT IT POSSIBLY BE?????”

She then said her brother was going to Tahonga after Xmas. “Tahiti?” suggested her new friend, “yeah, there as well, but I’m sure he said Tahonga.” He was quiet. I didn’t scream “TONGA, IT’S TONGA!!! YOU THICK GET!!!!” at her because, well just because…

What IS the point of “travelling” anyway? It is just an excuse to shag and drink somewhere slightly warmer isn’t it? I know more about the world having never left western europe (except to go to new york which is de facto western europe anyway) than these frankly clueless [oh god, what am I saying] BLOODY KIDS, hastening the demise of the planet with their excessive, pointless air miles, turning the whole planet into one giant playpen for them to bounce around in, with no real clue WHERE THE HELL THEY ARE…