28
Apr 05

They IMAGINE that They OWN the SOUND that Your HEART MAKES as It BEATS!!

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further adventures in the sooncome war of the virtual commons:
a few years ago i wz subbin an arts catalogue and had dealins w.a gallery who insisted that
a. the “The” in their name MUST ALWAYS BE CAPITALISED
b. there must ALWAYS BE TWO SPACES between the “The” in their name, and the other bit (which i’m not goin to write here bcz fuck em)

well, ii. i dealt w.by tellin em sorrowfully (and untruthfully) that our publishin software took out double spaces automatically, and i. i managed so fudge so that the name of the gall wz never anywhere in a sentence where the “the” wz NOT capitalised by virtue of its position in the sentence. had this fudge not been possible i’da told em that, if “The” wz part of their name, then i wd have to refer to them as “the The _______”

(would i actually have told em this? depends on my mood i suspect)

anyway my current grumblement has been activated by a fairly ancient/routine bit of Fatuous Branding-Related Bullying, viz the pompous letters sent out by some manufacturers when you FAIL TO SHOW THEIR PRODUCT THE PROPER RESPECT in ref capitalisation…

viz only acceptable orthography for perspex = Perspex or PERSPEX, ditto ditto for formica = Formica or FORMICA and etc (doubtless i have overlooked a whole raft of overpriced plasticky garbage) (overpriced bcz obv someone has to pay the fees of anal branding lawyers)

the historical precedent for this nonsese = the sumptuary laws of the tudor era, and we ALL KNOW WHERE THAT KIND OF THING ENDED:

anyway i hereby declare that the historical precedent for my attitude to capitalisation = the quakers never doffin they hatz to nobuddy SEE!

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