7
Mar 05

THE FT TOP 25 ANIMALS – 22. Kittens

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neoteny n. The retention of juvenile characteristics in the adults of a species

Such as being amused by nob gags? I suspect not. The film Team America: World Police is packed with juvenile humour – it appealled only to the base, the vulgar, those with no sense of decency. What a great film. But there is ONE terrific joke in it that manages to appeal to even those of a refined disposition: RELEASE THE PANTHERS!*

Kittens are an elemental force of nature – tiny bundles of energy that are less the young of a species, more the mass-noun for a fundamental feature of the universe. Gamboling among the quantum-foam of the universe are the bosons, fermions, pions (mm, Pions), kaons, and atomic kittens. All chasing that elusive cosmic string, running too fast, then skidding on the lino of time and tumbling bum over head. Aw, bless!

The only member of our top 25 that is defined by its youth, Kittens are the epitome of the evolutionary desirability of neoteny – somehow more so than human babies, as (unrelated) human babies rarely have the same ticklish effect on human MEN. Even cat hating men? Who knows? Who talks to cat-hating men?

Destroy: the phrase “sex-kitten” (ban this sick p@3do-b3st14l filth), and “Hello Kitty” stationery (ban this sick p@3do-b3st14l filth)

Search: lovely LOVELY piccies of kitties, like the 196 at this site

Bonus level: Keep Kitty Warm – time-wasting game from b3ta.

*Thanks to the sharp-eyed contributor to IMDB trivia who spotted they were real kitties.

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