31
Mar 05

THE FT TOP 25 ANIMALS – 1. Humans (After All)

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SHORT VERSION:

Look, we were in the pub, OK?

LONG VERSION:

So what have we learned about animals from this list? We like animals which:

– eat lots of different things (#2 – goat)
– are like big versions of small cute animals (#3 – capybara)
– are ruthlessly destructive in terms of getting their grub(s) (#4 – anteater)
– look great when robotised (#5 – owl)
– swarm unstoppably over the urban environment (#7 – pigeon*)
– are actually quite odd when you think about it (#8 – badger)
– endure massive death rates on the roads (#9 – hedgehog)
– can be very extremely dangerous (#10 – shark)
– need regular haircuts (#11 – sheep)
– can be transplanted successfully to non-natural environments (#12 – stick insect)
– are deeply hierarchical (#13 – penguin)
– live a long time and have a deep sense of history (#14 – giant turtle)
– is a monkey (#15 – world’s smallest monkey)
– eye-friendly exterior conceals brutal truth (#16 – polar bear)
– congregates in massive labyrinthine towers (#17 – ant)
– highly socialised family units (#18 – meerkat)
– remains mysterious in many ways despite lots of investigation (#19 – giant squid)
– is endangered largely because of its own idiocy (#20 – giant panda)
– breed like (#21 – rabbits)
– photograph well (#22 – kittens)
– able to channel and amplify sound (#23 – narwhals)
– cleverer than it looks (#24 – pig)
– will go to almost any lengths to empty a nutsack (#25 – red squirrel)

So our favourite animal should combine all of these. And we do.

*We also like widgeons, which aren’t remotely like humans.

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