Tea and nymph-athy
Finally weary of sleeping their way around New York, certain members of the Sex and the City alumni have turned their attention to lucrative advertising contracts.

Sarah Jessica Parker (owner of one of the top TLA names in Hollywood, arguably second only to Buffy’s SMG) negotiated her way round a bizarre shower gel cameo to unsurprisingly land herself squarely in The Gap, doubtless bringing in much-needed millions for the Broderick household.

But co-star Kim Cattrall (she with the character of particularly easy virtue) has taken a more, um, adventurous route.

Tea.

Brian Glover must be rolling in his grave.

Formerly the responsibility of quaintly funny cartoon northern cloth-capped men, Tetley’s would now have us believe that their products are literally better than sex (an opinion no one would be surprised to hear DYS’s editor agree with).

The quaintly funny northernness is still there, care of an aunt-figure no-nonsense straight woman, but her purpose is no more than acting as set-up for the star’s next salvo of trademark innuendo.

So who at Tetley’s decided that having SJP’s oversexed sidekick fondle a decidedly phallic tube of tea and make smutty Earl Grey jokes would boost sales? And how much did they have to pay Kim to get her into bed?

Fresh from one of the hottest shows on TV, was the chance to advertise hot drinks in the UK really the best offer she got?

One thing’s clear: both partners in this relationship are desperate. The question is, will anyone still respect them in the morning?