I’m totally serious about the moisturising thing. It’s only been a few days, but one thing has become apparent. Despite the Nivea packaging saying that it is “odour neutral” this is obviously a complete lie ‘ as with most men’s beautygrooming products it smells strongly of that rank “pine” associated with the interior of cars owned by heavy smokers. I must take this into consideration when soliciting results ‘ never mind double blind, we need double quoom* tests.

Honestly, do men’s soaps, men’s shower gel and the various “sport” variations have to smell this way too? Is there a law to enforce it?

* aka Anosmia