ENOUGH TO MAKE YOUR WEE GREEN: yes, dear reader! I have been caught in the snare of ASPARAGUS yet again. In a surfeit of asparagus, one might add! To those who despair at the weedy and thin specimens of asparagus available down your local Kwik Save, or the ridiculously priced “Asparagus Tips” which are somehow even MORE EXPENSIVE (how does this work Mr J. Sainsbury’s Finest?) – I have the solution, and it’s called the fruit stall outside Goodge Street tube station. A nice big wodge of asparagus for a mere ONE ENGLISH POUND.

But yesterday Mr Fruit Stall was selling EVEN BIGGER bundles for ‘1.50! I of course, took advantage.

Then I got home and thought… what the f#ck am I going to do with ALL THIS ASPARAGUS? Smaller amounts I put in scrambled eggs, and t’other day I just fried some up in olive oil* to go with our chicken kiev sandwiches but now I’ve got a bundle too big to be grasped in one hand! How do you turn asparagus into a… MAIN?

Publoggers: you’re needed!!

FWIW: my ideas:

1. Roast the sparrowguts with salt and pepper for a while. No idea what will go with this.
2. Er, put em in scrambled eggs
3. Oh… lor.

*plz to be telling me what is the POINT to boiling or steaming asparagus??? Anyone who boils/steams asparagus must be an MENKO!