Apr 04

Red Kite Farms Ltd have come up with Organic Slumber Bedtime Milk

Pumpkin Publog5 comments • 2,678 views

Red Kite Farms Ltd have come up with Organic Slumber Bedtime Milk. Described as, ‘whole-milk, ORGANICALLY produced at night on our farm in the Chiltern Hills which may help to promote revitalising sleep.’ Apparently it’s chock-full of MELATONIN, which ‘regulates our body clock and triggers our desire to sleep.’ I don’t think desire is the problem, but still. As a part-time but keen insomniac I was blinded to the fact that Slumber Bedtime Milk costs about six times the price of normal milk and hurried home to guzzle a pint and catch some zeds. It seemed to go well. It’s a nice bottle and it tastes great. I started to drop off, cherishing visions of a frilly-gowned milkmaid gently massaging the heaving udders of a contented cow under the stars. I was nearly gone when it occurred to me that this would be a good opportunity to make my long-awaited* debut on Pumpkin Publog. Slowly but surely the milkmaid took on the shape of Starry Sarah and the cow started turning, pixel by pixel, into Tim H’ Well, so much for a good night’s sleep.

The fact that Slumber Bedtime Milk is produced at night reminded me of the time my dear old dad started railing against the thoughtlessness of the local farmer because he could hear the milking machine buzzing away across the fields at about eleven at night. So one man’s melatonin-induced sleep is another man’s metallic teat-clanking night of gathering psychosis. Think on, Red Kite Farms, think on.

* long-awaited by me. I was so tired I forgot about Voll-Damm.


  1. 1
    Donna Martyn on 15 Aug 2007 #

    Hi i am interested in the slumber milk which you used to sell in some supermarkets, I have problems with my little boy settling properly and sleeping through the night, i was told that i should try this product, do you still sell this milk and if so how much do you charge? Thanks Donna

  2. 2
    nicola on 15 Jan 2012 #

    i would like to buy this milk for my autistic child who sleeps better with melatonin , this is a much more natural product, where can i order it thanks

  3. 3
    Fiona Goetz on 31 Jan 2015 #

    Where can I buy this milk for an autistic boy in my care.

  4. 4
    Bill spence on 31 Mar 2015 #

    Please can you tell me where I can buy this from as I have very bad insomnia I have tried everything to sleep and I recently heard about this product I have tried waitrose but they have stopped stocking it.

  5. 5
    Barbara Thorpe on 27 Apr 2015 #

    Can you please tell me where I can. Get this milk

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