25
Feb 04

Exotic indelicacies #1: Super Piratos

Pumpkin Publog11 comments • 1,828 views

Exotic indelicacies #1: Super Piratos

The horse sausage was indeed fried and eaten, and very good it was too, though the meal’s success relied on the addition of a small amount of super-zingy red chilli relish. As part of the transaction which saw me cooking horse sausage in a flat in Victoria, I was given a packet of SUPER PIRATOS: little black discs of ‘lakrids’, which I assume means liquorice. If only my translating skills had lingered long enough for me to ponder the meaning of another word featuring prominently on the packet: saltlikrids…

Now I like trying unfamiliar foods from strange lands. Don’t we all? And we all love pirates, right? Right. So how could a packet of Danish Haribo products which look like Pontefract cakes be wrong? They’re called SUPER PIRATOS! They have a picture of a pirate on the front! And the pirate’s parrot is saying ‘EN GO’ ST’RK LAKRIDS TIL ALLE LAKRIDS-ELSKERE’, which I don’t understand, of course. It had never occurred to me that parrots could speak any language other than English.

It is my solemn duty to tell you: SUPER PIRATOS are the worst thing I have ever tasted. Sharper readers may have guessed that something labelled ‘saltlikrids’ may involve liquorice and salt, and they would be spot on. These little black doubloons are extraordinarily strong, acrid lumps of badness, all salty and sour. Imagine Mighty Imps pickled in brine and served up in 50p-sized lumps and you may be getting somewhere near. My eyes watered, the taste wouldn’t leave my poor mouth. I’m shuddering now just thinking about them.

Comments

  1. 1
    Sune on 5 Sep 2006 #

    But Super Piratos is the best thing that ever happend since girl wrestling!!

  2. 2
    Pete Baran on 5 Sep 2006 #

    This review now seems a touch harsh on the Super Piratos, which a couple of us mentalists eventually took a minor shine to (I had about seven in the end and quite liked them!)

  3. 3
    Tim Hopkins on 5 Sep 2006 #

    I stand by every word.

    How do you feel about girl wrestling, Pete?

  4. 4
    Pete Baran on 5 Sep 2006 #

    Minor shine.

  5. 5
    pˆnk s lord sükråt cunctør on 5 Sep 2006 #

    i have a big bowl of salt licorice on my work desk — ever since i expressed an abstract interest i have been bombarded with nice gifts from across europe

    it looks a bit dusty and manky actually — i think i shall CLEAR THE DECKS dys

  6. 6
    pˆnk s lord sükråt cunctør on 5 Sep 2006 #

    now that i understand b–f g-l-t-n i surely have the means to attempt CHEESE PIRATOS next year!

  7. 7
    Pete Baran on 5 Sep 2006 #

    Walk slowly away from the gelatine Mark. Slowly. No good will come of it.

  8. 8
    Hugo on 3 Nov 2007 #

    Wow. They are salt.

    here i Sweden Super Piratos are forbidden cuz there are too much salt in them. Can be dangerous. High blood pressure etc.

    Well we still have regular piratos but they are not in the same league.

    Super Piratos are like double the size,double the liqourice. Damn ive ate 4 of em today, they are very good. But i now have a terrible headache since salt absorbs water:Results in headache.

  9. 9
    Rafael on 4 Sep 2008 #

    Incidentally, the parrot is saying “A good strong lakrids for all lakrids lovers” and yes, lakrids is liquorice, which comes in many shapes and forms in Denmark.

  10. 10
    AnneN on 23 Oct 2008 #

    You have to be kidding!

    I just ordered 20 bags of them from Germany. I LOOOVE salty licorice! I wonder if you have to grow up with it to appreciate it?

    And, yes, that is 8 kilos of them. Really.

  11. 11
    SkinnyMelonBiris on 18 Oct 2010 #

    I just ate one of the extra large bags of them. It was so worth the excessive salt intake. But then, I am Danish and was brought up on such freaky foods.

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