CLIFF RICHARD — ‘Santa’s List’
Why do Cliff’s Christmas records always sound so cheap? With his money and connections you’d think he wouldn’t have to resort to the same bell presets as the Fast Food Rockers. Anyway as you might expect this is bilge. Cliff bastes it in strings and (eww) soloing guitars to disguise the fact that he hasn’t written a proper tune. ‘Bit like the Darkness then!’ I hear you saying, but there’s no gusto or charm or self-knowledge here, just a lecture from some horrible old Uncle who turns up barely invited every year and then complains that you’re wrapping presents and guzzling sherry rather than going to Midnight Mass. As I believe the young folk put it: PISS OFF GRANDAD.
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