CRED ALERT!

CRED ALERT!: Then there’s “Can’t Hold Us Down,” an empowerment anthem with a confident, man-eating swagger that recalls Blu Cantrell’s “Hit ‘Em Up Style (Oops!)” and Mary J. Blige’s “Family Affair.” Aguilera echoes the sentiments of pioneering punk Poly Styrene on X-Ray Spex’s “Oh Bondage Up Yours!” by kicking against men who think women “should be seen and not heard.” “So what do we do, girls?” she asks on the chorus. “Shout louder!”

This is what happens when writers adhere strictly to the ROCK = GOOD equation. No amount of calculus can prove that true, especially when some of the variables include “mention screaming like Courtney Love” and “compare to obscure British singer with Soft Machine connections“. Nothing says maturity like screaming and progressive rock.