DUEL 2002! Round 2 Match 3
Pete says:’Travis are the other four men in a police line-up. Especially if they want you to pick out the criminal. Sure these Scottish boys are musical criminals in their own right but they would not hurt a fly. Unless that fly was a music lover. Admittedly they do look a little bit like criminals – surely only crime and pop music pays people to lie about all day – but unfortunately there is no prison we can send the mediocre rockers to for creating their KFC fuelled dirges.
On the other hand if you imagine all the members of Travis being turned into powder like the members of the UN Security council are at the end of the sixties Batman movie, and that powder then being reconstituted into one person – you may well get Badly Drawn Boy. Well you would need to slap a bobble hat on his head – for this is his trademark. That and winsome songs of love, loss and dubious musical quality.
Vote Gough if you think concentrated rubbish is worse than the platoon of rubbish represented by Travis.’
LAST RESULTS — NICKELBACK VS STEREOPHONICS
Nickelback — 51 votes
‘The Stereophonics make a virtue out of their drabness which irritates like a nagging pain, but the sheer crassness of Nickleback’s crimped-hair angst, their doe-eyed ‘rock’ sincerity, puts them ahead in the worst band league table.’ (+1)
‘”this is how you remind me” reminds me of crap. crap crap crap. Stereophonics are just another pub rock band.’ (+1)
‘There is a point where the utter crapitude of bands is unmeasureable. Rather then try to compare I will just note that I have successfuly avoided Stereophonics more then Nickleback. I hope I never have to think about crap this bad again.’ (+1)
‘
the resemblance is uncanny.’ (+3!)
‘Nickelback – for those who found grunge a bit too exciting.’ (+1)
‘A band named after how much you should get for trading in their CD rather than depositing it in the fiery pits of hell where it belongs?’ (+1)
Stereophonics — 61 votes
‘Mr Writa alone is worse than How You Remind Me but when you factor in the whole entire horrible rest of what the Stereophonics have done….no contest at all.’ (+1)
‘Stereophonics are surely storming towards convincingly winning this entire thing. I see no reason to stand in the way. They’re fucking wretched.’ (+1)
‘Sterephonics will win. The mighty starsailor have met their match.’ (+1)
‘Nickleback are poor. The Stereophonics are worse. But keep on voting for Muse! They are shit!’ (+1)
‘It is well known that the Stereophonics are a “Jacob’s Ladder” style military experiment – their music shuts down all higher brain functions, thus leaving the subject incapacitated and so unable to resist the NEW WORLD ORDER! Peter Hook is a 12-foot lizard!’ (+1)
‘As I said before Stereocrapophonics are the worst band in the world – I fully expect them to win the contest.
Stereocrapophonics are consistently crap – that new single of theirs playlisted on Xfm, 6Music and probably Virgin – is 100 % ghastly – the vocals sound like someone spewing up and the track sounds like plodding early 70s RAWK.
As for Nickelback they are just a naff AOR band, they think they are serious, sincere, real, authentic rock band – they are of course hideous, dull and funny – that low from the gut rock voice – cranking out the dumb lyrics and fake ass emotion – over a formula grunge lite AOR modern rock template. It’s a formula you can laugh at.
But no Stereocrapohonics are far worse – every track they have done since year dot – has been fucking awful, as for Nickelback thankfully I have only heard one of their tracks so far.
So Stereocraphonics are far worse -the ghastly textute of Kelly’s vocals and cringing muck that the other two crank out to create an awful RAWK sound – have set new low standards in gut wrenching aural bullshit.’ (+2, blimey steady on DJ M)
‘I’m convinced that Stereophonics are an invention of Satan created solely to mitigate that saying about the devil having the best tunes.’ (+1)
‘It is a little known fact that before the Stereophonics started their colossal rock career that they made their money by donating their puny Cwmanamaman jizz to sperm banks to get enough pennies to pay off the bullies who kept beating up Kelly for haffing a GURLS NAME. In other words they were professional wankers then and they are even worse now but their willies are a bit chapped. The proof is of course in the anagram of their name: HENCE I PRO TOSS! Chiz chiz and a thousand times chiz, next round with a bullet.’ (+1)
‘Actually, between voting and typing this I’ve forgoten who I voted for. I think it was Nickleback as they have a 6-foot goat on lead vocals, which is worse than having someone wo merely SOUNDS like a goat. And the ‘Phonics are from Wales and I like Wales. But wait! I’ve just remembered the DRUMMER in the S/Phonics. Oh Fuck – what a stool. Over a million years of evolution have led to this creature. Darwin must have been wrong about natural selection eventually producing strong, fit species. A few amino acids dissolved in water has more of a right to call itself human than this…this… THING!’ (+1 to N…back, +2 to S…phonics)
‘Please, please, please…save Nickelback for another year. Vote for the ‘phonics…purveyours of dirgetastic jool’s holland fodder!!!’ (+1)
‘Nickelback are awful, no question about that, but…..
The Stereophonics have been inflicting offensively dull croaky voiced shite on us for about 5 years. They are repeat offenders and would be amongst the first against the wall come the revolution. I truly feel that they, not “manufactured” pop, represent everything rotten and wrong with music today. Just enough education to fuck off hopefully.’ (+1)
‘shit, Tracer’s post is gonna be worth billions of bonus points, yet it is imperative that Stereophonics go through, if only because every time I go to the store looking for CDs by all the good bands beginning with “Stereo-” all I can see are their wretched artefacts clogging up the racks as far as the eye can see’ (+1)
‘I’ve heard of Stereophonics, so they must be worse.’ (+1)
RESULT: Nickelback 60 (44%) — Stereophonics 76 (56%)