Nutter popstar given heave-ho by label, or as the BBC will have it “Mariah’s ‘£35m golden handshake'”. Well, poor love she’s had a rough time of it over the last fifteen years, what with single handed inventing dance music (cf Glitter) and rap music (cf that record on which she appears to bump into Method Man and gives him a fiver for mumbling over Fantasy). Problem is with a couple of reinventions already under her belt she’s pretty much alienated most of her audiences – she ditched the MOR covers lovers and teenage girls do not see loopy divas as role models – just look at Macy Gray’s lack of career. Not only that but she has pissed off a couple of the biggest record companies in the world too. Will anyone want to sign her, considering she will ask for a massively inflated sum.

Still £35m will pay for a half decent psychiatrist.