The pressures of fame: Carsmile Steve reports on a shocking False Tom who infiltrated the Belle And Sebastian list under my name and proceeded to post the whole of the Indie Kids piece (thoughtfully including copyright!). Now I am a peaceable man, but I was not the sole author of the piece, there were others, and believe me you do not want to get those two angry.

No, hold on, dammit, I’m not a peaceable man! This was blatantly nothing short of an assassination attempt, the culprit thinking that a horde of enraged B & S fans would murderise me. When I add this outrage to a recent attempt by Another Zine Editor to poach one of my better (albeit infreqent) writers, it becomes clear that OFFENCE is the best DEFENCE. In the words of the poet, come round here I’ll kick your ass in.