24
Nov 06

The Bible Of Badness: EXODUS – Bob Marley

FT + I Hate Music18 comments • 2,457 views

Bible Of BadnessIn many ways I should be grateful for the existence of Bob Marley. If it were not for his greatest hits album, Legend, most people would probably own more than one Reggae record. In acting as a one man summary for this particularly dismal form of music therefore (and then by dying too!) he has done me a favour in the world of music hating. But it just is not that simple. You see not only did Bob Marley also unfortunately make music, but he also gave birth to about four hundred children all of whom seem to be continuing this somewhat ropey legacy.

Marley was backed by the Wailers, a more apposite name for a band I have never heard. Not that they wailed in the standard wailing and gnashing sense. Rather they probably wailed internally for having to play the soporifically slow skanks that Bob served up for them. And the worst by far of these slow crawls through Rastafarian mumbo-jumbo and bass stack bothering riddims was Exodus. As Bob says: “Movement of Jah People”. I am assuming Jah People were trying to get as far away from the record as possible.

The song is quite successful in suggesting how much pain, suffering and hardship an Exodus such as the one led by Moses would be. It also manages to inflict almost as much horror as the various plagues called down in the same book of the Bible. On the one hand you have locusts, on the other you have a over produced bass guitar. I think I would prefer the insects. And that is before you get to the lyrics, in which Bob is calling for a new Moses to turn up to lead his people* from Babylon to the father land. Now forgive me if I’m wrong: but if you are considering a trip from Babylon to the Fatherland, I am not sure is Moses would be your best bet. His travel agency specialises in trips from Palestine to Egypt. For a Babylon to German package you’d be better off getting a member of Boney M.

*One assumes his extended family which could well be the entire population of Jamaica by now.

Comments

  1. 1
    Dadaismus on 25 Nov 2006 #

    On the one hand you have locusts, on the other you have a over produced bass guitar.

    How lame is that? Ooh, you hit me with a flower.

  2. 2
    Marcello Starling on 28 Nov 2006 #

    Stop this racist column

  3. 3
    Marcello Carlin on 28 Nov 2006 #

    starling ha ha racist ha ha

  4. 4
    Dusted_One on 30 Nov 2006 #

    Big deal, you hate all music! wow thats really somthing to be proud of. Your simply wasting you time, oh and your not “famous” your ignorant. Instead of bitching why dont you just not listen to it and shut up.

  5. 5
    the blazooh man on 5 Dec 2006 #

    bob marley was an over rated old chancer, ive heard tramps do a better job of his own songs.

  6. 6
    Dan Anderson on 23 Mar 2007 #

    Damn guy, what do you have against reggae music and bob marley?

  7. 7
    The idiot basher on 23 Apr 2007 #

    Yes Bob Marley was overrated–that is why he sells more albums around the world than any other musician in the history of musicians. That’s why one of his great albums was named album of the century, that is why the BBC used one of his songs as the anthem for the new millenium, that’s why the NY Times named Bob as the most influencial person of the 2nd half of the 20th century, that is why Bob’s Lyceum VHS was the only musical tape to be inlcluded in a NYC time capsul to be opened in the year 3000. We are not talking about Bob Dylan, The Beatles or Elvis here-we are talking about something much bigger and longer lasting. You can not go anywhere in this world of ours and not see something related to Bob whether is be a t-shirt or a painting on the side of a building. You can go to Brazil and look for a Elvis t-shirt and never find a one, you can go to New Zealand and try to find some spray paintings of The Beatles and you will turn up empty, you can go to Denmark and try to find some msuci of Dylan’s and they won’t know who you are talking about. You can go anywhere at anytime and find Bob all around. He speaks to the people with hearts and minds unlike the fools involved with this website. Only a fool leans upon his own misunderstandings.

  8. 8
    Tom on 23 Apr 2007 #

    Or of course it could be that a lot of people smoke too much pot.

  9. 9
    Marcello Carlin on 24 Apr 2007 #

    I would hope any msuci of Dylan’s were promptly cleaned up, for health and safety reasons.

  10. 10
    Lena on 24 Apr 2007 #

    I always thought he was singing “Aeschylus” but then I could be wrong.

  11. 11
    Lena on 24 Apr 2007 #

    Also, he totally ripped off The Banana Splits’ theme song “Tra-La-La.”

  12. 12
    Marcello Carlin on 25 Apr 2007 #

    Yeah, putting out “Buffalo Soldier” just six months after “Buffalo Gals” – talk about bandwagon jumping! Being dead for two years is NO EXCUSE ;-)

  13. 13
    Roger Nowt on 2 Jul 2007 #

    Bob Marley wasn’t that bad, though I do cringe when I hear him going on about “tree little birds” that “is by my doorstep”. Was that the anthem for the new millennium? Rightly has it been used in a washing powder ad. “Buffalo Soldier” is an hilarious song, completely rewriting the history of black people in the Americas. “Fighting on arrival, fighting for survival”? What, in irons? “Driven from dee mainland to dee heart of dee Caribbean”? Shipped, more like. Should arrive within 10 working days. Buffalo Soldiers were freed black slaves who fought as mercenaries in the American Civil War. They were not Spartacus types who freed themselves by force.

    On the plus side, some of Marley’s songs, such as “Satisfy My Soul”, “Waiting in Vain” and “Is This Love”, have the kind of satisfying, long-breathed melodies perfected by the Bee Gees. But they’re not as good as the Bee Gees’ songs, or the songs penned by Rod Stewart at his peak.

    It may well be true that Bob Marley has a worldwide following. When I was in Poland in 1993 I met a teenage white “Rastafarian” with dreadlocks. The public are idiots aren’t they?

    Was Marley the most influential person of the second half of the 20th Century? The competition is stiff (in more ways than one). Bill Gates, perhaps, JFK, Deng Xiaoping, Martin Luther King, Friedrich Hayek, the chap who invented the contraceptive pill, Mikhail Gorbachev, Crick & Watson, Yang Chen-Ning, Wittgenstein … Even amongst pop persons there are the Beatles (real counter-culture icons), the Sex Pistols, the Smiths (adjudged the most influential pop act of the last 50 years by the NME), Demis Roussos … What did Bob Marley really amount to?

  14. 14
    Roger Nowt on 3 Jul 2007 #

    Emu, Orville, Pingu. Is by my doorstep…. Sayin’ don’t worry. Aboud a ting. Cos every liddle ting. Gonna be all right. It’s that super-strength skunk, you know.

  15. 15
    Grace on 25 Oct 2007 #

    please tell us about yourself… do you have a day job???? Or are you jst a fat little girl on the internet bagging dead people. we will all pray for you and have faith that you will get a life sometime soon xox

  16. 16
    yoly on 9 Mar 2008 #

    how could you not love music? i don’t get it. it’s mind boggling.

  17. 17
    Pange on 25 Feb 2009 #

    bob marley is considered an extremely influential person, how can you say anything bad about him. he’s done more for this world than you’ll ever do. all you did was write an article about a person who had a hard life and grew up around much worse violence than in your little suburban neighborhood. and you mentioned smoking too much pot…. you can never smoke too much pot, marijuana was put on this eath to make peace and spread love and happiness. bob said that everything was put on this earth with a purpose, so whats yours? to sit at your computer and write your feelings on people. your cool, why dont you learn to get a life and stop critisizing everyone, maybe then you’d have some friends and wouldnt be subdued to sitting at home on the internet all day.

    Smoke Fat Dutchies!

  18. 18
    Final Fark on 29 Dec 2009 #

    Bob Marley fanboys are some of the worst people I’ve ever met. You can critique any other musician, but the tinniest bit of negative criticism towards Bob has them losing any form of sanity. And why? Just because someone finds him overrated in his guitar playing, melody lines, and vocal ability and doesn’t think he’s some sort of God. There are much more gifted artists that came before and after Marley people, so stop living in that tiny bubble of yours. Making him some infallible dude makes him already overrated.

    And idiot basher, Bob Marley is nowhere close to the best selling artist of all time, you’re really letting your bias show. The Beatles and Michael Jackson, Britney Spears, Led Zepplin, and tons of other artists dwarf Bob Marley’s total worldwide album sales (this is also including the Wailers stuff).

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