ROBIN THE FROG – Halfway Up The Stairs
Robin The Frog was Kermit The Frog’s nephew. He was a tiny little creature, whose main problem in life was:
a) Being a frog
b) Being a small frog
c) Being the nephew of a hyperactive maniac theatre manager and having to live down the ignomity that said useless creature was also being persued by an overweight pig for what can only be described as a bit of Toad In the Hole
d) Having Jim Henson’s hand stuffed up his arse
Now most of these things would drive a sane individual over the edge. Not little Robin. Instead he goes and sits halfway up the stairs and mopes. Why halfway up the stairs? Well in the song he suggests that it is just a favourite place of his. Probably because it is IN THE BLOODY WAY OF EVERYONE. The real truth is that halfway up the stairs was a particularly comfortable place for the puppeteer , allowing him to sit underneath the stairs in a nice comfy chair.
Now I ask you this. Should we champion a song whose entire raison d’etre is putting the puppeteer in the most comforatble position. It would be like U2 releasing a song called “We Like To Play The Same Note In The Key Of C” or just allowing Mike Skinner to talk over some backing music. Do not make puppeteers lives easier, especially ones who insist on not only having ridiculous comedy songs littered through their show but also invite pop stars on to it too.
That said, the idea of having Elton John devoured by crocodiles whilst playing Crocodile Rock is still one of the top ten most played clips on my VCR.