Now if anyone asked me to get them a cocktail as part of a standard pub round, I would be more likely to look at their arse and enquire what happened to their previous tail. Frankly the effort of mixing various alcohols together to make something demonically alcoholic and tasty seems an awful lot of time wasted when you could just be slinging back the G&T’s. But apparently some of my sex feel it makes them sophisticated: to which I retort if you need a drink to make you sophisticated, then you don’t know what sophistication is.
I digress. This is I Hate Music, not I Hate Women Who Buy Dido Albums. (Though…). The Eagles were of course an all male group so what they were doing drinking tequila Sunrises one can only guess. Especially for a band who fancy themselves as deep south cowboys some of the time. The Eagles made music which always appears on compilations called Music To Drive To, which of course should be called music to drink-drive to, get your licence taken away and let that be a lesson to you. Partially for drink driving, but mainly for listening to the Eagles. And in this prison you can check out any time you like, but you can never leave.
The Eagles were masters of sonamulent adult oriented rock in the early seventies. They defined AOR, for the simple reason that any child would rightly listen to their lumpy plodders and throw their records in the bin. In many ways it is apt that this adulterated tequila drink was their cocktail of choice. A Tequila Sunrise is one of the dullest cocktails ever invented after all. It is just orange juice, tequila and Grenadine, with the later really only acting as food colouring. It is a pretty drink to look at, but rubbish to drink – which is analogous to the Eagles themselves. Except in their various dressing up as cowboys, or corp rock looks the Eagles were never pretty to look at. Tequila itself is a drink most often used to reach oblivion as a shot, and if you were listening to The Eagles I would not blame you. Just don’t get in a car.