I Hate Music
HOW MARILLION ARE KILLING THE FILE SHARING INDUSTRY
One of the reasons for my relative patchiness in hating updates recently has been due partially to a relatively crap computer. So I spent the unpleasant hours before the pubs opened this morning wandering up and down Tottenham Court Road talking to people who obviously listen to Mike Parradinas and Aphex Twin records talking tech. Whilst being shown a laptop, whose very definition suggested I was a rather wider lady than my dress size proves, I was asked if I wanted a soundcard in my computer. I gave the fellow a withering look, I need a soundcard much like I need a juicer. But the man was off, showing me the wonders of music on the web.
Look, he said, you can download nearly anything. I asked him back if it was possible to anti-download something, litteraly destroy its presence on the web. He looked at me as if I was a lunatic – a look I usually reserve for fans of anything made with Stevie Wonder’s involvement. And before I could scream no and dive for cover, he showed me how easy it was to find a track, and get hold of it.
The track he used to display the awesome power of the web? Marillion’s ‘Incommunicado’. Now I am possibly not the best person to ask, but if there was one record that would make me think this who file sharing mularkey was a waste of time and effort, it would be the surprising ease of access of Marillion records. Incommunicado is the way I like to think of Marillion, either that or I like to think of shooting Fish in a barrel. Not that Fish can fit in a barrel any more. Not even a really, really, really big barrel.
Amusingly, before I trashed all the liquid crystal displays in sight, the Real Player (surely it protests its realness even more than J-Lo) had a handy description of Marillion for someone who may not be aware of their crimes. And I quote: “England’s Marillion present inventive and narrative-driven rock-esque compositions that defy clear categorization“. Well, true in as much as this is anything but a clear characterisation, New Prog certainly does not do it either. But I think I can offer my services to the Real Player people. Marillion: “England’s Marillion present piss-poor and Genesis derivative songs with stupid stories that defy listening”.
IHM LYRIC WATCH 15: ADRIAN GURVITZ – Classic
“I’m gonna write a classic
I’m gonna write it in an attic”
There is a suggestion here that some good person heard Mr Gurvitz’s claim, followed him home on the day he finally decided to write said classic, and put a big fuck-off padlock on the attic door. In a Victoria Andrews sort of way, Adrian is still in there, being tortured by his own genius songwriting, with the knowledge that due to this somewhat stupid venue for songwriting, he has been doomed to keep his classic to himself. His ghost lingers still, humming his classic, humming it in his attic after he starved to death.
Any suggestion that the order for big fuck-off padlocks that I made in the early eighties is related to Adrian’s one hit-wonderliness is sheer coincidence. But is Fran out of Travis wants to tell me where he is going to write his next ‘Classic’, I am sure a similar kind of accident can be arranged.