NO GIRLS ALOUD
NO GIRLS ALOUD
If we can thank Girls Aloud for anything, and I’m not sure we can, its for seeing off One True Voice. Them and the British public I feel have long since recognised that there is indeed only one true voice in this country, one voice brave enough to speak the truth - and that dear readers is mine. I, Tanya Headon, own the One True Voice and I suppose I should have sued the Postar spawned bastards. Instead Girls Aloud saw them off, and now - as some kind of thanks - I am here to see them off.
Do we need another Spice Girls, all of whom model themselves after Rough As Fuck Spice (the sixth member who didn’t make the cut)? Surely there are checkouts all over the country being unmanned while these five slappers ponce around pretending to have a pop career. And what a pop career, a career built solely on the worst kind of pop melange there is. Their first single, “Sound Of The Underground” had the twang of Duane Eddy, the shuffle of the Sugababes,the wail of Pink, a bit of Addicted To Bass, a bit of Buddy Rich etc etc. In short it is about 100 times worse than any bootleg ever, in that it sounds like nearly every song ever written. It was as if Dr Frankenstein, not content with creating an evil monster out of lots of body parts, then created another monster out of the body parts of 100 Frankenstein monsters. Well, a bit like that. Rest assured it is amazingly evil.
Unfortunately this is a trick ‘The Aloud’ have done again. And from reports again, and again. So much so that they have even seemingly survived being bigged up by Julie Burchill. Stop this pop madness, give us back our checkout cashiers now. The One True Voice has spoken.
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moirah french on October 9th, 2006
they fuckin suck they are hairy sacked trannys!!! wow i feel better getting that out there, my boyfriend, a boy i used to respect and admire, who loves smashing pumpkins,motley crue and system of a down- told me he fancies there frocked man freaks… its a black day for me.
rebecca dempsey on December 14th, 2006
I AM NOT BEING FUNNY ARE NOTHING BUT HOW DO YA THINK YA ARE SAYING THAT ABOUT GIRLS ALOUD JUST COSE ITS NOT YOU UP THERE SINGING AND GOING ON SAGE AND THAT THERE ONLY HAVEG SOME FUN AS A GIRL BAND AND IF YA THIK DIFFREN DONT AND THEY GOT PICED COSE THERE UNICQ SINGS UN LIKE YOU THEY ARE THE BEST GIRL BAND IN THE WORLD AND SORRY TO SAY BUT THEY WERE BETTA THAN THE SPICE GIRLS THEY ARE BETTA THAN ANY GIRL BAND NOW THIS IS ONE TRUE VOISE SPOKEN BY REBECCA DEMPSEY 2006XX
rebecca dempsey on December 14th, 2006
ONE TRUE VOSIE THEY ARE SHIT AHIT SHIT WERE WERE ARE THEY NOW SITTING AT HOME WACHING THE TELLY WERE ARE GIRLS ALOUD NOW UP ON THE STAGE DOING THERE THING XXXXXXXX BY REBECCA DEMPSEY
Al Ewing on December 15th, 2006
I demand Rebecca Dempsey is given a regular column immediately.
FT's CarsmileSteve on December 17th, 2006
seconded, and also she should be our, sorry, are new web designer…
Simon on March 22nd, 2007
http://www.myspace.com/beatsworkingrockband this is sarah harding’s dad’s band - listen to John’s new release!! u will…..appreciate it….that’s all i’m saying!!
rebecca dempsey on May 10th, 2007
hi everyone its rebecca dempsey i just want to now what is this about a colum are something i hope everone is doing ok girls aloud you rock my worldx2007x
Pete on May 10th, 2007
Rebecca isn’t the same without the Caps Lock on. No column without the caps lock I say!
rebecca dempsey on May 14th, 2007
HIIII WHAT IS EVERYONE UP TO I JUST WANT TO NO WHAT WAS THIS ABOUT A COLMN AER SOME THING IS EVERYONE FINE XXI LOVE GIRLS ALOUD THE ARE TRUELY THE BEST IN THE WORLDXX LOVE YAS AND MISSS YAS TO EVERYONE WHO READS THIS THANKS FOR READING XXXXX
FT's Alan on May 14th, 2007
the next step is to get you to register (there’s a link on our front page)
laura patterson on May 23rd, 2007
hi girls aloud
i cant wait to see you on 27th may
you are great cheryl is the best
i like ashley cole too
he playes football with his team on tv he
is going out with cheryl cole from girls aloud.
laura patterson on May 23rd, 2007
i have got 2 tickets to go and see girls aloud in consert
at nottingham arena im going with my brother andrew and chantell
it will be good fun at the girls aloud consert im going to do a poster
of girls aloud to take with me to see girls aloud in consert.
rebecca dempsey on July 3rd, 2007
HIYA WATS EVRYONE UP TO WERE IS THE MARK ON THE FRONT PAGE ALAN SO I NO THENKYOU ANY WAY I LOVE GIRLS ALOUD THEY ARE THE BEST EVER AND IF THEY READ THIS HIYYYYYYYYYYA GIRLS WAT HAVE YOUS ALL BEEN UP TO CARNT WAIT TO SEE YOUS ON TOUR LOVE BECCA DEMPSEYXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
FT's Alan on July 3rd, 2007
top right on the home page under the search box. it says ‘Register’ — between the ‘Random’ link and the ‘Login’ link.
SARAH on April 24th, 2008
I H8 THEM I H8 THEM I H8 THEM
I like there music little but i can’t stand them as ppl there fuckin so mean nd bitchy nd rnt they spiltin up of suffin
I HATE CHERYL DA MOST
FT's DJ Punctum on April 24th, 2008
I’ve got a bone to pick with Cheryl as well - she called me “fookin’ mental” in GQ magazine!
FT's CarsmileSteve on April 26th, 2008
i’m assuming SARAH *is* sarah harding?
moirah french on May 8th, 2008
i just found that comment i wrote oh so long ago, its pretty funny i have to say! and that rebecca WHO ALWAYS TALKS LIKE DIS, shes hysterical! poor old girls aloud, i dont really hate them at all. hairy sacked trannys, haha:)
Does it matter? on October 30th, 2008
Girls Aloud suck dick. They should be shot immediately.
FT's byebyepride on October 30th, 2008
Dear ‘does it matter?’: plz to post evidence. I’m assuming you know what it looks like from watching your mum at work on the postman.