Jan 02


I Hate Music9 comments • 55,699 views


Colours eh? Or Colors as Ice-T would have it talking about the horrific habit of LA gangs to kill other youths merely for the bandana being worn. All terrible Mr T, but you would be a crazy fool to think writing a lousy rap about it is going to make the situation any better. It wouldn’t surprise me if said gangs stopped shooting each other over what colour they wore and instead started exterminating any tasteless person who had the temerity to buy Colors.

Anyway, as you know I hate music – but I rather like other types of art. Take visual art, I was down the Tate just the other day – admittedly marking time before the pub opened – but the resolute silence of the place really cheered me up. The Turner Prize exhibition for instance I really liked, that fella who just turns a lightbulb on and off managed to improve massively on Jean-Michel Jarre’s schtick by not having any rubbish synth-symphony accompanying it. A gallery is a place without music, unsullied by aural cacophony – only a well stocked bar short of heaven. At least that is what I thought until I wandered into the pub afterwards and some bastard had come and mended the jukebox I had deliberately rammed some chewing gum in the money slot of the week before. And what were they playing? Red, Red Wine by UB40.

It then struck me that even that most visual of things – the rainbow of colours – was not free from the hideous taint of music. Not least Rainbow themselves, prog’s also-rans (which when you consider the general success of most prog bands, is saying they were particularly poor). Lists of songs with colours in flooded my mind to haunt me, and there is only one way to exorcise them. Yes dear reader: over the next week or so, I present a spectrum of shit, a paintbox of poor pop, or – as I think it should correctly be termed, Tanya’s Rainbow of Rubbish.


  1. 1
    Tom on 21 Aug 2006 #

    Alan why has this got so many hits and no ‘referrals’ section?

  2. 2
    Admin on 21 Aug 2006 #

    absolutely no idea! i checked the stats and there are indeed no referalls to the point you got this on “recent comments”! possibly because a lot of our caught spam posts where targeted here? I never look to see which posts the obvious spam is attached to

  3. 3
    Admin on 21 Aug 2006 #

    Odd to the point of suspicious. The vast majority of the hits (>1200) are from the last 48 hours, all have the same “user agent” (i.e. combo of OS and browser) which might imply a single client, but the IP/country is NOT unique or even clustered. looks ups on the IPs show they’re not (AFAICT) anony-proxy sort of things either.

  4. 4
    Tom on 21 Aug 2006 #

    Maybe we should unpublish the post – can we do this?

  5. 5
    Admin on 21 Aug 2006 #

    Possible, but I don’t know that there’s any harm being done here. We’d still end up with the request and a minimal 404 reply each time, so there’d be only a few k bandwidth and some processor cycles spared.

    I might mention it to the server ppl.

  6. 6
    DermaZinc on 23 Feb 2007 #

    I have already enjoy your website, and it is so nice and cool. I will visit your website again. Thank you.

  7. 7
    Designer Handbagss on 7 Jun 2007 #

    Frankly, the way things are right now, I’m not sure I’d want to play myself in my very own movie of the week.

  8. 8
    abdab on 28 Jul 2007 #

    just admit you undying love for pink floyd as you have used them to dicuss so many ‘meaningful’ topics.

  9. 9
    Vince Jackson on 19 Dec 2009 #

    Silence! yes! isnt it beautiful? I think that silence is the new noise – though how the album would sell I have no idea! Anyway its time someone recorded a completely silent album, called maybe ‘the art of silence’ or ‘cmon feel the silence’ difficult word to rhyme though you might say, but AH! you might be forgetting that this is the whole point, it doesnt have to rhyme with anything does it? cos no-one is going to hear it. Anyway I will shut up now because I bet you can hear these words resonating in your inner ear (if there is such a thing) I know that there is such a thing as an inner tube which might do the job if you stuck it in your lughole, but that, as they say, is a different matter!

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