VAN MORRISON – Like A Jelly Roll
VAN MORRISON – Like A Jelly Roll
Van The Man. What kind of nickname is that? Its as if he was so dull that the couldn’t think of any distinguishing factors of his personality to hang a sobriquet on. Truth is of course that a lot of people have been brought up with the ridiculous notion that if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all. Suddenly the name Van The Man makes sense. Well, I have no such compunction.
Van Morrsion is a fat, curmudgeonly old Irish git – whose success lies squarely at the feet of Irish isolationism and racism. His version of red-eyed soul was the nearest the Republic got to Motown, which is to say that it was significantly distanced by an ocean in between. Adding more Celtic lyrical touches ended up with the boglands version of Joe Cocker wibbling pointlessly about shaking his tush in the moonlight, before losing it all completely on Astral Weeks. What is it about Irish popsters that compells them to write songs about dancing under the light of the moon? Surely a lack of light would be the only thing that would make the corpulent Morrison and the stick thin (and rotting significantly) Lynott look good.
Back to the Moondance album though, when Van was supposedly at the height of his powers – before he started doing Christian rhymes with Cliff Richard. It kicks off with “And It Stoned Me”, a song whose drug pretentions are so hidden that even a nun could work them out. But how – you ask – did this mythical substance stone Morrison? Well, it stoned him – and I quote – “Just like a jelly roll”. Suddenly it all makes sense why Van is so damn fat. A roll. Full of jelly. Lawks a lordy, I bet it isn’t a fruit set jelly either – more the scrapings off of the side of a tin of corned beef.
Of course Van, being the God botherer he is, could mean stoned in the biblical sense. The jelly roll line still makes no sense, but the fact that he was getting stoned by people who had bought his other records – and not for the first time. And its happy thoughts like that which will stop me from completely crucifying Morrison in the way he deserves.
Tanya Headon in I Hate Music • 3,643 views
Van Morrison’s nickname is the “Belfast Cowboy” moron. Do some research before you slam the classics.
Gotta love the Internet – where else can you respond to a 5 year old post about an aging Irish rock star?
Yeah, you do gotta love it. You also gotta love how some no name no knowledge fool can post their ill informed rants on any given subject at any given time (seriously, you do gotta love it). For this one, lemme explain it:
1. Jelly Roll Morton was the pianist (a white one, at that) who basically invented jazz. He was a huge influence on Van Morrison.
2. “A Jelly Roll” is Irish slang for a blowjob.
3. There’s a really powerful whiskey called Jelly Roll, which happens to be made in belfast.
The last one seems the most likely to me, but you could see how any one of these could “stone” you (bowl you over, shock you, throw you into a stupor/ecstasy, etc, for those who have no command of the english language).
Van is not particularly fat. Howard Taft was fat. Henry VIII was fat. Big Bill Broonzy was fat. Van Morrison is not.
And lastly, if you are really such a brute that you can’t FEEL these songs, and such a moron that you can’t even RECOGNIZE how great they are, then I guess I just have pity for you.
what can one say about van morrison except:
(he was at) the right place at the right time.
in fairness tho, he does have a few catchy tunes (but nothing that could possibly explain his popularity)
one of which caught my ear some time ago was “and it stoned me”. when i looked up the lyrics i found they were sloppily written and ambiguous. but not even in an interesting way.
however, i’m surprised the bloggers are confused about the term “jelly roll”. (van m. has used it in at least 3 different songs). in a nutshell it’s a sexual reference common among black americans 50 to 100 yrs ago. (it has nothing to do with irish whiskey!)
for further information on the phrase “jelly roll” go to:
http://www.phrases.org.uk/bulletin_board/7/messages/283.html
I just can’t believe there’s someone tragic enough to regularly waste their life away writing about things that they really, really dislike. And with such ignorant vitriol!? do you want to talk about it?
Actually, it’s quite well-informed vitriol.
Actually,
Jellyroll, as he used it in the song, is a metaphor for the female genitalia.
Isn’t that obvious?
Next time you are with your woman, take a closer look :)
I appreciate the author’s use of the fancy terms, such as “sobriquet” and “corpulent;” but fail to recognize how any of the vitriol could be considered “well-informed.” My suggestion: spend less time with the thesaurus and more time with the dictionary to correct some of those spelling errors.
I know I shouldnt really respond to a post from someone who doesnt even know what COUNTRY Van Morrison is from (Irish? The Republic?) or the chronology of his albums, but I felt I had to.
I know you were probably being flippant, but to focus on your mis-interpretation of ONE song from a cannon of hundreds is just ridiculous. Not as ridiculous, however, as your accusation that Van (the Man) is racist a mere sentence before calling his home country a ‘bogland’.
and FT, try listening to the music. Leave the lyrical poring to Dylan fans, cos god knows they dont have much else to cheer
WOW! who wrote this? Jelly Roll is a slang term for the female genitalia…
Who hates music?? are you crazy??
Van Morrison is a fucking legend. And I am a 16 year old Australian girl.
Who gives a flying fuck if his lyrics dont make sense to you, if you don’t like his country, or if you think he is fat, his music is still great. And if you haven’t noticed, which obviously you haven’t, he is/ was from a different era. His music strange lyrics or not, is ten times better than this shit everyone listens to in the 21st century. At least he doesn’t sing about how many girls he can fuck in a week, like all those no talent rappers do.
The man has a voice, and a bloody good one at that, it seriously does not take much, if any, talent these days to be called a singer.
And if whoever wrote this I suspect is an American, and I have nothing against America -I even intend to move there someday- but where the fuck do you get off calling him fat, the majority of your country is overweight. And you probably are too, sitting there at your computer screen, with no life, eating your greasy chips, and hating on a music legend. Just because you are talentless and have nothing better to do, does not give you any right to insult someone else, especially Van Morrison.
Jelly Roll Morton was NOT white; he was a creole man from new Orleans and died (eventually and partly) due to being refused hospital treatment at a whites only hospital.
other than that – quite interesting
Well I was going to respond to the ignorant original post but others did a great job. If you don’t like Van, or music, why waste your life writing about it? Too bad about you not liking Van though. I listen to him pretty much everyday. Stones my soul like a jelly roll ;-)
Ouida Gabriel
I love this string of postings. I heard the song And It Stoned Me on an album by Marley’s Ghost, one of my favorite west coast U.S. bands. I thought, I’ve heard that before. Looked it up an there you go it was by one of my all time favs, Van Morrison. I’m a Child of the 60′s and married a Brown Eyed Girl so I’m well aquainted with his songs. Don’t really care about what the hell a jelly roll is but too bad someone can’t appreciate his soulful singing.
Ah, the eternal problem. Van Morrison and jelly roll. “Jelly Roll” is African-American blues slang for female genitalia. Charlie Patton and Jelly Roll Morton (among others) seem to use it in this way (I guess Mr. Morton was bragging his prowess at attaining “Jelly Roll”). But Van uses it oddly. His seemingly masculine persona complains, “I give you my jelly roll,” in “He Ain’t Give You None” (1967) and similarly in “And It Stoned Me.” Does me mean masculine genitalia by “jelly roll”? Sex in general? A mystic connection with the universe as symbolized by the history of jazz music? It’s hard to tell, it’s hard to tell.
Ummmmm Jelly Roll is the nick name of an african american blues musician back in the day…it stoned him like Jelly roll…another words it amazed him…and also refers to genitalia…sex…wow…and if you dont like his music then just say it…but damn before you go saying stuff in public and not want to be criticized by the public then do your freakin research!!!
Jelly Roll Morton named himself after a move he refined (if that’s the right word) in the bordellos of New Orleans. It’s a hip move, you can do it while striding a piano stool. Use your imagination, the place, the ragtime music, the likely audience. Stoned like a jelly roll. Anybody here ever felt that good? I gave you my jelly roll. Anybody ever put a move like that on? Maybe you should stop quibbling and put on some music and go try putting on your jelly roll. Your nearest might it even like it.
Van Morrison is brilliant. His albums, some 34 studio albums have stood the test of time. Also, have you listened to his live stuff? Songs are changed dramatically and when Van is on-song there is no one to beat him. Why not listen to Van Morrison radio online and just get a glimpse of the range of his music. The 500 songs he has written and recorded become more like 3000 when you hear the live albums.
I feel sorry for the creator of this site that she hates music…maybe that is just a gimmick or…whatever…I don’t see how one could have a soul when they hate music. Music is in nature but then I would think you cannot hear it and I am sorry for you!
This piece is garbage, but some of the comments were excellent. Cheers everyone, even the author for sparking a fire in some of the readers. I wonder if the author still feels this way?