I Hate Music

27 August 2000

James Brown – Sexual Gymnast

James Brown – Sexual Gymnast

“Ooooooowwww!”

This would seem to me to be a perfectly understandable reaction to James Brown’s music. Only instead of wetting my pants at what is meant to be orgasm-inducing “ooowwww!”s, “hey-yey-yey-yey”s and “yowwwwll!”, I can’t help but clap my ears in pain when the klaxon warning riff of “Get up (get on up)” fires up.

His singing (squawking?) and music, needless to say, are unspeakable, but the constant single-entendres regarding his sexual acrobatics are rough beyond belief. What these songs offer is a bouffant-haired geezer in a purple suit, “performing”. What they deliver is a greasy man in gold lame, humping a microphone stand, with a very bad line in farting brass accompaniment.


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