BOB DYLAN - ALL OF IT!
Bob Dylan sucks. Period. Anything else I write after this would be superfluous, but such is my hatred for him that I’ll continue.
Bob Dylan is a monstrous man. He has a face that gives nightmares to small children. That he continues to live is a source of constant distress to me. The fact that I am forced to trudge the same earth as him makes me contemplate suicide on more than a daily basis. You’d think all of this was just personal, but it doesn’t end there. Bob Dylan is a “musician,” too. And he’s awful.
He wouldn’t know a melody if one bit him in the ass, waited for him to turn around, and announced, “Hi, I’m a melody!” His tunes are consistently dull and plodding.
And that voice! Christ! Someone put it out of its misery! If I was walking on the street, and I heard someone singing that sounded like Bob Dylan, I’d punch him in the face. He singlehandedly made it safe for any Joe Blow with an acoustic guitar and a reedy voice to, not only get a record contract, but to sell millions of records! Even with all of this progeny, there’s no one that even remotely sounds as bad as him. He makes Leonard Cohen sound like Sinatra; Lou Reed like Bing Crosby!
Supposedly, he’s a “poet.” This may very well be true, but you know what? Longfellow was a poet, but we haven’t been subjected to his Greatest Hits, now have we? Does Dylan honestly think his “poetry” is that much better than Longfellow’s that he needs to set it to musical accompaniment? Apparently, yes, the arrogant fuck. As the old argument goes, if I want poetry, I’ll go read some sonnets.
Lastly, let’s not forget that Dylan bred, and he had a son named Jakob. Jakob fronts a band called the Wallflowers. You know how, earlier, I said no one sounded as bad as Dylan? Well, someone does…and it’s his very own SON! GOD! I hate Dylan! Look at all he’s wrought! And for what? “Like A Rolling Goddamn Stone”? Fuck that!
Bob Dylan is another one of the reasons why I hate music.
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amen brother on October 6th, 2006
amen, amen, amen, 1000 amens. But Sinatra sucked just as bad. “top of the heap, a little town that never sleeeeeeeps, oh peepy peeep”…Sinatra sucks and so does new york.
Bob Dylan on November 3rd, 2006
NO U!
This is Bob on November 18th, 2006
You are a very ignorant human being.
J. Melvin on February 26th, 2007
I couldn’t agree more with you. It is completely irrelevant how poetic his lyrics may be, because I have to sit day after day listen to my roommate and those in my hall listen to this metaphoric cacophony of claws across a chalkboard.
This man has absolutely no musical talent. Writing decent lyrics is NOT the same as having musical talent. To be honest, I don’t care at all that he was some sort of inspiration, because once again this is irrelevant. What does inspiration have anything to do with musical talent? Absolutely nothing, because people feel some sort of compulsion to justify their appreciation for Bob Dylan by convincing themselves to like his music as well.
His voice makes me cringe every time that I am subjected to the misery, and I constantly question what sympathetic bastard managed to convince Dylan that he actually can sing? Some of his music is not as bad as others, but in comparison to virtually every other singer, he is off the chart in his incapacity to utilize melody in any shape or form.
Bob Dylan is just a perfect example how people in the United States can have no talent and can still live successful lives; I suppose that’s just a part of the “Land and the Free” ideal we constantly express? His persistence in the musical community and legacy haunt me every day that I live, because I find it unbearable how such horrible music thrives!
I find nothing more interesting than those that will make insults to people such as I, who utterly loathe this man’s (lack of) musical talent. The reality is, I have supported and justified my claims for why I dislike the man, and any attempts to prove my opinions invalid through criticism or childish insults do nothing besides deviate from the main point.
Do yourself a favor before criticizing my statements, and think about WHY you like this man. Do you like this man because your peers or family do? Do you (amazingly) think this man actually has a concept of melody? Do you actually like him more for his lyrics or musical talent, because these are completely independent, and only vaguely correlated: a great ability to utilize words to convey meaning does not directly correlate, and extremely rarely correlates to great musical talent as well. That is not to say that the man’s writing talent is worthless, and often times has great merits to it, but one cannot say he is a good singer because he may write well.
My first impression of his music is based on how my senses are appealed, and those are based primarily on the melody and sounds I hear before the value and meaning of the words can have any impact at all. I would wager heavily that this is true in many cases, and I’m sure just about anyone can think of a band or form of music they like with lyrics they themselves may not particularly like or agree with.
Bob Dylan simply is a disgrace to music, and to say he is a legend has nothing to do with his (lack of) musical talent. Rather than truly evaluate his abilities, many people would rather not have conflicting beliefs and convince themselves to enjoy his music as well due to tradition or pressure from others. Consider reevaluating your appreciation for his music, and consider the (MAJOR) flaws in his talent, and perhaps one day you all may see the truth as well.
Marcello Carlin on February 26th, 2007
I had my senses appealed once. The doctor gave me some paracetamol and told me to stop slumming it.
Lena on February 26th, 2007
What, and not XTC? For shame, sir!
Richard Cipollone on March 10th, 2007
I agree with everyone who hates the guy. Unfortuately, I don’t think that badly sung “self examination” or “protests” over three chords constitutes as music. If you truly are a musician, you should be concerned with a.obtaining mastery of an instrument b.not worrying so much about lyrics and concentrate more on the musical elements of the song eg melody and chord structures
As a devoted musician, I am pissed off that folkies are cosidered to be credible because they are armed with “three chords and the truth” and progressive rockers are dismissed as pretentious ego-tripping wankers. I feel that people like ol’ Bob are even bigger wankers. If you believe that one political song has the power to change the world, then you must have the biggest case of dick chaffing.
The fact of the matter is that if you are a musician, you deal with music- which is the manipulation and organisation of sound. If you are a great lyricist, face facts that it isn’t purely a musical pursuit, it is a literary one. Also, if you want to get political, that is not a musicians job. Musicians are trained in music, not politics.
If you want to uncover societies ills- become an activist.
If you want be a humanitarian- FUCK YOU- GO FREE TIBET
But if you want to be a musician- write music that is musically interesting, practice your arse off, and Shut up and play yer’ Guitar.
J. Melvin on March 16th, 2007
*Claps* That was an excellent and well developed point demonstrating why Bob Dylan is clearly not a good musician. I wish more of the people around me would be able to convince themselves that he truly is a terrible singer, with an incapacity to incorporate melody and *gasp* talent into his work.
Simply, music is supposed to please the ears by nature as one of its initial effects, but good lyrics don’t really produce that sensation without interpreting and realizing their merit. Dylan fails to produce any sensation of pleasure in his music, especially with his simple yet tasteless use of instruments, as well as his inability to carry a note (e.g. “Freight Train Blues” Does he really have any idea how DREADFUL he sounds in his futile attempt to prolong that miserable note?)
Amazing how so many people like his horrible excuse for music, yet do not even understand the lyrics they claim to define his “talent.” Most people around me declare that one cannot possibly dislike a man who sings about getting stoned. Pun though it may be, that does not make it significant in any way, and its foolish meaninglessness cannot provide salvation to the fact that he still sounds terrible.
Dylan CDs are truly not worth the plastic and metal material they are composed of, and the Vinyl only worth slightly more for its Frisbee-like abilities. His legacy however is a value that I can only begin to describe, for it is something that is beyond worth less than any other object or concept, it is WORTHLESS, permeating the generations like the marijuana clouds that spread through the air of a concert.
Aeris on May 2nd, 2007
Haha, J. Melvin loves it in the ass. You can tell he’s trying to prove way to much and sound smart when all he is is a sad little ignorant shitwad.
Hey, J. Melvin, fuck you.
“Not worth the plastic and metal”? whooa there.
Stop denying he did have talent musically and poetically. It IS amazing how incorporates both abilities into his music-making.
Stop being ignorant, especially acting like you can surpass what this man has made. Yeah, sure you can come up with lyrics and tunes. Suuure, you have the best talent in the world.
Well, guess what Jackass Melvin, you fucking suck. Bob doesn’t. Face it and shut the fuck up you bastard. It’s more than obvious you’re in denial.
FT's Alan on May 2nd, 2007
homophobia and name calling but no coherent counter argument. that’s a dylan fan.
Richard Cipollone on May 13th, 2007
He clearly did not have any musical talent. His guitar playing sounded like it was played by a 2 year old with a busted hand- GUITAR PLAYING IS A MUSICAL SKILL. The guy has no idea of how to write a good melody- MELODY WRITING IS A MUSICAL SKILL. I musically surpass the man when I burp, let alone writing a song. Face facts folks, he was a good lyricist, but- LYRICS ARE A LITERARY SKILL- IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH MUSIC
J. Melvin on May 13th, 2007
Aeris, With respect to your attempt to insult me, I will not even give you the grace of a retort, as you had already confirmed an earlier statement of mine, demonstrating your inability to create a worthy and valid argument in response to my own. Alan notes this well, and I commend a concise and accurate critique of your claim.
I make no claim that I have superior talent, though one would be hard-pressed to find anyone who can sing or play worse than Bob Dylan.
Nevertheless, how about a critical review of a specific song, let’s say “Only A Pawn In Their Game,” which dreadfully happens to be playing as I write this response. The guitar playing is *gasp* simple, with hardly any real variety, and has virtually no effect in supplementing his raw and rubbish voice. The chorus (well, not exactly, but it sounds the same for every last 6-7 lines of a stanza) is by far my favorite part, with the exact same monotonous vocal note (that’s single, no variety other than a single note) used not only three or four times, not even five, but seven times in a row. I honestly cannot understand how anyone can listen to that lack of originality and claim that it deserves any merit. The entire song manages to meander aimlessly without any real sense of musical guidance, dragging on mercilessly at the expense of the hapless listener. The sincere lack of melody, in addition to the lack of variety truly articulates a clear demonstration of Dylan’s inability to express any form of talent.
Do not get me wrong, I honestly think the lyrics have worthy literary merit, with a good use of imagery, albeit lack of rhythm as a result of the short run-on lines of rhyme. The writing is generally sensible as well as generally coherent, and he has purpose in his work, but his stubbornness in actually performing these lyrics is a horrible decision, as I had earlier described with his failed musical attempt.
Richard Cipollone on May 17th, 2007
Damn straight Melvin! I like your moxy. If you were to analyse any song from Bob Dylan using form nomenclature, you would end up with the following:
AAAAAAAAAAAAA
Notice the lack of a B section? Although the lyrics change, the melody and chord structure remains the same. Dylans’s Music hardly ever evolvles pst an “A” section
Scott on September 15th, 2007
Bob Dylan just sucks ass. There’s nothing else to it. He is the definition of TERRIBLE.
Jakob D on September 28th, 2007
This whole thread is a bunch of hating losers. Dylan did practice his ass off, and his music has more to it than the “truth” or three chords. He did what he did and what the fuck can you do. If you want to talk shit about musicians that can’t sing then go ahead, but whats more ironic is bloggers who can’t spell with spell check. You Fucking tools!!!
Marcello Carlin on September 28th, 2007
He did what he did and what the fuck can you do.
whats more ironic
musicians that can’t sing
Does Blogger provide syntax and punctuation checks as well?
FT's Lena on September 28th, 2007
No, no, no, it’s “He does what he does and what the fuck can you do” - the man’s not dead yet, son.
Richard Cipollone on September 29th, 2007
Jakob D, you’re pretty big in front of a computer, aren’t you
Richard Cipollone on September 29th, 2007
one can still make typos, but still have insight on the topic. i clearly stated why the man isn’t a good songwriter/ musician, and quite frankly, you haven’t stated a strong counter- argument. you honestly don’t know what you’re talking about. i am a music teacher and as a result, probably have more authority and ability to analyse music. just get out of the way and let the experts discuss this topic, clown.
peter on March 9th, 2008
Well, all I can say that he hits every note!, And he’s guitar picking is as good as any fingerpicking style guitar players! Listen for instance to “Don’t think twice It’s allright”, You may try to tab that one!
angshu on March 10th, 2008
A wise man once said -
“I prefer style over substance, I don’t care about lyrics and I love a great singer, so my vote went to Bob Dylan.
What a pity he died so young.”
Amen.
Now David Bowie is a talentless, second rate hack and musical magpie and we should all reserve our bile for him.
Andy M on March 10th, 2008
Oh dear, that’s not Dylan playing guitar on ‘Don’t think twice’ though. Which kind of proves the point…