KEEP YOUR HAND ON YOUR GUN
KEEP YOUR HAND ON YOUR GUN
So what’s so all-fired ESSENTIAL about ESSENTIAL PUNISHER?? Hmmmm?
Well, for a start, it proves that comparing Gerry Conway and Garth Ennis is like comparing Willard Price to Ernest Hemingway. Funnybook folklore has it that the redoubtable Conway got mugged on the way home and instantly concieved a brand of JUST DEATH for the evil criminal, clad in groovy disco boots and a skull of fear. I’ve got to put the lie to this myth - judging by the ESSENTIAL ETC. the Punisher was based on Conway suddenly finding himself putting a bullet through the head of a mob boss and deciding to fill the comics world with as much non-lethality as he could muster. Punish-Lad quickly segues into the world of hem-hem ‘mercy bullets’ (”Stun shot!” as Dredd would scream as he blew a hole through a perp’s eggshell skull) while still referring to the amazing Spiderman as ‘my friend’ in between attempting to blast his weasly head off for CRIME. Because Spiderman as all readers know is a BIG CRIMINAL. Well eh wot I mean to say wot? Annoyingly the J Jonah Jameson subplots that we don’t get to see are more interesting than the Murderous Mr P’s continued backstory.
Finally Frank Miller decides to write him with a bit of zap as a proper baddie and has him shoot a CHILD yes a CHILD a CHILD for the enemy use CHILDREN now CHILDREN I DID MY DUTY BY BLOWING THAT FIVE-YEAR-OLD’S HEAD CLEAN OFF howls the Punishment Beast. Hmm, very subtle thinks Mr Miller but it is not enough for the next writer. Bring on Bill Mantlo and suddenly it’s all DIE JAYWALKER DIE, LITTERING IS A CRIME AGAINST SOCIETY etc etc etc. (The entirity of Britain stifles a yawn as 2000AD does all of this subtler, exciting-er and with better artwork… even compared to Bellardinelli… I don’t want to say that whoever Frank Springer is he can’t draw a human face but needs must…)
But wait! The Mad Mad Punisher was merely on mad mad DRUGS he is as sane as a lamb! He is so sane he goes on a boring five-issue spree in which he starts, stops, starts and stops again a MOB WAR and also begins using the short, punchy think-captions we know and love today. And so we come FULL CIRCLE except if you want a decent Punisher story you’ll have to wait god knows how many years… which is why adverts for four - count’em - Punisher trades, all by Garth Ennis, are waiting - complete with Amazon-friendly ISBNs - for you to BUY on the front inside cover!
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