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March 31st, 2005

THE FT TOP 25 ANIMALS - 1. Humans (After All)

SHORT VERSION:

Look, we were in the pub, OK?

LONG VERSION:

So what have we learned about animals from this list? We like animals which:

- eat lots of different things (#2 - goat)
- are like big versions of small cute animals (#3 - capybara)
- are ruthlessly destructive in terms of getting their grub(s) (#4 - anteater)
- look great when robotised (#5 - owl)
- swarm unstoppably over the urban environment (#7 - pigeon*)
- are actually quite odd when you think about it (#8 - badger)
- endure massive death rates on the roads (#9 - hedgehog)
- can be very extremely dangerous (#10 - shark)
- need regular haircuts (#11 - sheep)
- can be transplanted successfully to non-natural environments (#12 - stick insect)
- are deeply hierarchical (#13 - penguin)
- live a long time and have a deep sense of history (#14 - giant turtle)
- is a monkey (#15 - world’s smallest monkey)
- eye-friendly exterior conceals brutal truth (#16 - polar bear)
- congregates in massive labyrinthine towers (#17 - ant)
- highly socialised family units (#18 - meerkat)
- remains mysterious in many ways despite lots of investigation (#19 - giant squid)
- is endangered largely because of its own idiocy (#20 - giant panda)
- breed like (#21 - rabbits)
- photograph well (#22 - kittens)
- able to channel and amplify sound (#23 - narwhals)
- cleverer than it looks (#24 - pig)
- will go to almost any lengths to empty a nutsack (#25 - red squirrel)

So our favourite animal should combine all of these. And we do.

*We also like widgeons, which aren’t remotely like humans.

Written by Tom on Thursday, March 31st, 2005 | 564 views |

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