21
Dec 11

Eight FT Nights: “The Best Christmukkah Ever”, The OC

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Is it though? IS IT?!

NB I have never seen an episode of The OC before and watched this while (a) drunk and (b) packing. So I may have missed some subtleties, but actually looking back I don’t think so.

Christmukkah is a metaphor for a love triangle, or possibly the love triangle is a metaphor for Christmukkah. Also we’re running 2 for 2 on interfaith families in Hanukkah episodes, possibly because Christmas is too darn exciting for even American TV shows to give up completely. Indeed, “Christmukkah is about not choosing!” Seth Cohen cheerfully announces while brandishing his menorah. I should point out that it took me until halfway through the episode to realise he and Troubled Blond Cheekbones were not boyfriends.


It is also possible I’m drunk right now. HAPPY DECEMBER TIME!

Meanwhile, a blonde lady lawyers up, it turns out Mischa Barton is not actually very good at acting and there is a woman who is inexplicably not Joan Holloway.

At a glitzy upper-middle-class party Seth Cohen tries to fulfill his desire to have both Christmas Anna and Hanukkah Summer but ends up with no one and nothing. Not even Troubled Blond Cheekbones, who has gone off with Mischa Barton in a drunk driving shoplifting van.


If you were sober enough to try to pass the breathalyzer then why didn’t you drive the car in the first oh never mind.

The moral of the story seems to be that if you try to have it both ways you will end up with empty hands and an empty heart, in romance as in seasonal religious observance. A cold message indeed!

However, after careful analysis I can exclusively reveal that the true meaning of Christmukkah is: if it’s 2003 and you’re a middle-class white guy in your teens/20s and you have a compulsive need to tell every woman you’re attracted to how amazing the Shins are, shut up.


Yes, you. Especially you.

RATING: 5/8 miracle candles

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