Pork To The Hand
Here at FT Towers we don’t often rehash press releases, but it’s a different matter when they originate from LovePork.co.uk, the pig-related branch of the UK’s very own Agriculture and Horticulture Development Board.
LovePork claims that “there’s a lot of interesting stuff going on in the world of pork”. So what’s the porky story this time then? Well, aside from the ‘pig-nics‘ campaign and Bacon Connoisseurs Week it seems that the powers that be are trying to encourage WOMEN to eat more pork. But HOW?
LovePork have introduced ‘The Girls Guide To Grilling‘, i.e. getting Kate Walsh off the Apprentice to show us feeble women how to barbecue meat while the men are watching the football (yes this press release is a month old, sorry). And of course this ‘female barbecue revolution’ is in a fetching shade of pink.
Here are some of Kate’s top tips:
Much like us on a night out, BBQs take time getting ready. We know the boys love the ‘throw it all on’ approach, but if you start grilling too soon you’ll have meat with a burnt outside and raw inside…not quite what we want to serve up!
You may have seen the guys using one cloth to wipe everything…but this is not a habit we want to get into! And make sure you pop an apron on – messy stains are hardly a covetable accessory!
Kate Walsh doesn’t actually appear in any of the videos, having been usurped by friendly stand-in Andrea, a more-than-capable lass who claims to have ‘never used a barbecue before’. However Andrea is using a GAS-POWERED BARBECUE! What madness is this? The whole beef (o-ho) with using barbecues in the first place is that they are a bugger to light and get hot enough to cook stuff on. This is why ovens were invented, dudes! The actual cooking of the meat is usually a straight forward endeavour: put on barbecue, wait until cooked. Andrea may have never used a barbecue but she has probably used a gas hob before! I am more bothered about this than the painful gender stereotypes to be honest.
Also another sign that I should probably hand in my feminist membership card: I deeply covet an apron like Andrea’s that says ‘PORK’ on it in big letters.
katstevens in FT • 104 views
At least Kate Walsh didn’t try and put lipstick on a pig.
ALL PINK UTENSILS! Could they not find a PINK! barbecue as well?
The only pink barbecue available didn’t have an ‘on’ switch.
I should point out that LovePork.co.uk does feature some genuinely interesting facts about where on the pig which bits of pork come from and how best to cook them, like an interactive version of the poster on the wall of the butcher’s we never go into.
I joined LovePork two years ago on a free trial. They send you two pork products at a time and then when you’ve eaten them they send you more. Which was great to start off with but then i had a cushion leg joint sitting on my DVD player for a couple of months and realised I was still paying for nothing.