SHAKIN’ STEVENS – “Merry Christmas Everyone”
The Christmas we get, we deserve: sometimes a Christmas song can reveal a group’s nature more than any other formal exercise. Slade’s raucous bacchanal; Wizzard wanting the whole year to be overloaded with tinsel; Wham turning the season into an excuse for soft-focus mirror-gazing – and now Shakey, offering shopworn material in bargain-bin fashion. It’s cheerful – when was he otherwise? – but it’s very, very cheap. The reel-off of rote Xmas imagery is the pop version of a bargain box of Christmas cards – it promises a selection but you know exactly what you’re going to get, the only surprise being quite how nasty all the artwork is.
But it’s endured, it filled a gap somehow. All the Christmas compilation perennials seem to capture different parts of the festive experience – Saint Etienne for the demob drinks, Slade for the anticipation, Wizzard for the boozy aftermath of dinner, Kirsty’n'Shane for – well, that’s between you and your conscience. But Shakey? Shakey for me is the sound of Christmas shopping, jingling on the tannoy while you cross names off your list and look at the plastic reindeers in the shopping centre diorama. Still part of the experience – but never something you look forward to.
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Ahem, 49, as x-x-factor lawyer I have to point out that it is not all a big fix!
tho’ there are obv certain types that will be weeded out pretty early on (everyone in between v good and v bad)
My suspicion is that genuine mclaren-esque xfactor-gaming in the uk would have to be very smart indeed to sidestep the usual uk moralising bullying about “scandalous perversion of traditional talent show norms” (re tradition invented 4.37 seconds ago)
this is not to say it’s not doable, and i continue to hope someone will try: i consider it an indictment of any music form that considers itself ethically or aesthetically superior to x-factor that it HASN’T attempted this
i actually spent an afternoon with my friend who went to the audition working on the plotline for a TV rock opera whose plot was the gaming of same, but whose mechanism exploited (some of) these voting feedback loops
sadly we needed someone who could actually write, like, songs to realise our genius scam/epic
my friend did not win = BIG FIX QED!
I don’t mean that the winners — or even the high-list contestants — are chosen in advance
What was obvious from that day though is that
(i) a lot of people were (by that series) getting through who already had form and indeed professional representation (this is not surprising, but it is under-explored in the coverage) — aka people with access to advance in-industry word and/or fast-tracking onto the next level of audition and etc
(ii) that this particular mass audition was there largely to trawl for secondary and expendable “character-types” to give the narrative some shape and diversity — and that actually merely being an awesome singer who was also a pure off-the-streets random* would be creating too much of the wrong kind of grief, so that (at this stage) people with (officially) the right kind of onstage talent were of less interest than a “good diverse cast”
(iii) it’s not impossible to be a total dark-horse outsider even in these circs, but there are a LOT of hidden bottlenecks and unadvertised inner control mechanisms to cut down the project from fair (but totally unmanageable) appraisal of 500,000 entries to actual handleable appraisal of maybe 200 or 300 max (probably a lot less, in fact)
*there might be a couple, there wouldn’t be, say 20 of these — yet statistically in a purely open competition there would be
I’ve never seen it either. I despise everything about that TV programme.
It’s got nothing at all to do with pop music as I know and love it.
will #54″It’s got nothing at all to do with pop music as I know and love it”.
well, yes and no. it’s true that the point of the programme is to deliver entertaining saturday night telly, not good pop. despite the annoying things about it (i.e. cheryl cole and her massive egomania vast well of compassion), i think it *is* pretty entertaining – relative to whatever programme featuring vernon kaye would otherwise be on itv in that slot, at any rate. (n.b. this view is informed by actually having watched the programme!)
whether it has anything to do with what you love about pop, depends on what you love about pop i suppose. there are a whole load of particular pop things that the x factor doesn’t deliver (you don’t get many crazed visionaries endlessly mainlining the shock of the new, or if you do they don’t make it past simon) but then the traditional pop model isn’t great at giving you these either. if you love pop in its widest sense for what (i think) it is, an idiot jumble sale, equal parts rubbish and treasure, then x factor is just another stall.
and surely the format (wannabees are chosen by producers; get exposed to the public on tv, public chose which they like the most; a star is born) is just a dramatisation of the traditional pop model (wannabees chosen by record label; get exposed to the public on radio; public chose which they like best; a star is born)? (acknowledging all pnk s says about all the backstage engineering). often it doesn’t result in particularly good pop music (and the format in some ways actively works against being any good) but a) the regular pop model doesn’t give us an endless parade of perfection either; and b) it’s not like x factor is stopping anyone else making good records – aside from the regrettable series of rubbish xmas no.1 (and one very good one, of course) 95% of the records in the charts (and even more outside) carry on merrily having nothing to do with x factor.
But doesn’t the chart success of X-factor cast a malign influence over the rest of the chart? Creating a bandwagon that other labels have to jump on with similar acts?
I don’t know if this true — being an expat I’ve never seen it and have no idea what the difference is between it and Idol — I’m just pondering out loud.
I’m not sure it does because majors can’t seem to compete with X-Factor winners in terms of hype thru TV exposure. But over time you get several acts who came thru this route in the top 10 at once probably. And will it always always be a solo singer winning? I suppose John & Edward could put anyone off duos for life.
I’m more annoyed about the Brits school bandwagon (Winehouse ‘copyists’ etc. – campaign for “fake real soul/jazz”…or should that be real fake?) or how labels may be reacting to the success of La Roux (this COULD work out well if someone comes up with a ‘like them but GOOD’ act, but that doesn’t seem very likely – at least my idea of good and what works for the charts just seem more and more incompatible now).
i’m not sure it does really. on ‘similar acts’ – the people who win x factor tend to be either i) the type of act the music industry churns out anyway – big voiced diva, boyband hunk, little boy lost; or ii) the type of act that *doesn’t* normally get chart success but win because their Triumph Over Adversity (weight issues (michelle mcmanus), being old and not much cop (steve brookstein)) has Captured the Public’s Imagination. its the fact that they’re x factor winners that makes them popular, rather than anything more easily replicable. the other thing is that, apart from the no. 1 they all get immediately after winning, most of them aren’t all that successful anyway – group ii) in particularly generally disappear without trace within six months.
i think the difference between x factor and pop idol is something that lawyers have looked at quite closely!
(sorry, slight x post)
it’s also worth saying that by far the best pop group of the 00s were put together on pop idol (to regrettably little influence on the rest of the charts)
#58 the ‘triumph over adversity/expectations’ model seems to have fallen by the wayside now as Cowell shifts focus to building artists who can be (more) successful in the US.
53, you are pretty accurate in your summation. But in essence this is “casting”. Like all television programmes casting is a critical part of what makes the programme a success – in x factor where the director’s role is limited, there are no script writers etc – casting is the SINGLE most important part of the production process.
So, it is (understandably) subject to a lot of control from the producers, although there is a dynamic which causes issues off screen, viz the interests of the production company vs the interests of the record company, which do not always align – will they make good telly vs will they sell a lot of records, ideally you want someone that ticks both boxes.
nor am i in fact against casting — it’s more that it’s an element that should also be brought into the arena of public interraction, somehow; i think some of the excitement of these types of shows has been the sense that you can game and challenge the gatekeepers; but some aspects of the gatekeeping are kept a lot more occluded than others
#59 I’m sure you mean Pop Stars: The Rivals don’t you ?
ah yes, i do indeed. i’m talking about one true voice, obv.
Girls Aloud were lucky enough to be paired up with a visionary team of producers at the top of their game. As personalities though they are just as bland as their fellow Pop Idol/ X Factor graduates. After 7 years I still can’t tell Kimberley from Nicola from…what are the rest of them called? (And I’m a fan.)
dragging the discussion back to the christmas theme I’d like to give a 1 and a half thumbs up for bob dylan’s christmas album
#65 Will I think you must be a gay fan if you can’t tell the difference between those two.
Gotta say, Sufjan missed a trick in not covering Shakey for this. “Merry Christmas, Workers of The Rock River Valley Region!”
67 – I can sure enough tell the difference, but not entirely sure one is wildly more popular with non-gay fans than the other (one of them is my favourite btw). They have the weakest voices in the group, if that’s what Will meant.
GA should do a Christmas A-side just the once – their genius production team have been content to get them covering old seasonal hits with ‘will this do’ productions to date. Shame on them! Imagine the video!
Girls Aloud have never done a damn thing in the US (they have that in common with Shakey!). I might recognize the odd thing by them, but I certainly can’t name a tune of theirs. (I was the same way with Kylie until, say, ‘Spinning Around’ – mystifyingly popular in UK, apparently tabloid driven, just ignore it, sorted.) So…. anyone who’s a true believer (“best pop group of the ’00s”) care to recommend a handful of GA pop classics to a novice? What tracks in particular demonstrate the genius production?
I was a bit of a Girls Aloud latecomer, swanstep, so I’ll recommend the ones that hooked me: Love Machine, Biology, and Something Kinda Ooooh. Their ballads do less for me, but those are all stompin’. For the overall package I’m more of a Sugababes guy, but at their best GA are hard to beat.
Thanks 71, Rory. Insta-review: The Smiths/Elvis-retro-ness of ‘Love Machine’ definitely appeals, as does the odd naughty lyric…. still, even there I find there’s something missing tune-wise. The songs do feel a little like video screenplays, however, and I gather GA are great-looking, so I guess I’ll have to check out their vids to get the whole story. Thanks again.
GA may have a celebrity fan in the US by now, if this extract from a Guardian interview in January is anything to go by:
“[Springsteen] asks me what I’m listening to at the moment, and carefully notes down the names of Kate Rusby and Girls Aloud for further investigation.”
Although Bruce revealed at Glastonbury that his daughter was a big Lady Gaga fan, so maybe it’s that side of the family that’s doing the investigating.
swanstep – along with Rory’s picks, you might also try ‘sound of the underground’ (surf guitar driven drum n’ bass, no less), ‘promise’, ‘call the shots’ and ‘no good advice’. of the ballads, ‘life got cold’ and ‘whole lotta history’ are awesome. definitely worth seeing the vidoes, they tend to have a lot of charm and be a real part of the package. (there is also, undeniably, hotness). apologies for some bunny baiting.
No Good Advice is one of the best pop records this decade. I’ll never forget hearing for the first time on CDUK circa April 03 and sitting there open mouthed, declaring to my then-flatmate “well, you have to say that’s magnificent” a la Barry Davies.
Helpful Brit-cultural signpost for swanstep and Rory:
Barry Davies is a durable British football commentator, and “well, you have to say that’s magnificent” was Davies’ commentary on Diego Maradona’s second goal for Argentina v England in the 1986 World Cup, five minutes after his notorious “Hand of God” goal where he punched the ball past England’s keeper and got away with it. The phrase signifies due respect for a brilliant goal despite what had gone before (even if many of us think he’d never have scored the second goal if England hadn’t still been stunned and resentful over the first).
Ah, 1986… we look forward to talking about it!
Wow, thanks everyone for the suggestions (and for the cultural sign-post erithian – that’s *exactly* the sort of v. important next-level-down of cultural detail that hardly ever travels, and didn’t in this case).
I don’t have time to do all the required listening right now, but just did check out ‘No Good Advice’ on youtube.
Insta-review: my honest first thought was, ‘Well, now I know what Ladyhawke was listening to a couple of years ago!’ The overplayed and now very irritating ‘My Delirium’ completely rips off (at least 50% of) No Good Advice. My second thought: musically this track this would work as a pretty good Bond (OO7) theme (it would need some lyric changes). My third thought: these gals really are hawt, they could all *be* Bond Girls (I don’t think that was quite in the cards for the Spices – so this is an upgrade). Thus, I’m definitely beginning to get a sense of their place in UK pop – they’re the alpha group or (changing bio. metaphors) top-predator of UK glitzy girl-pop. Last thought: there’s still something missing melodically for me. Comparison case: I, like a lot of people, definitely had a ‘Well, you have to say that’s magnificent’ moment with ‘I want it that way’ from the Backstreet Boys at the end of the ’90s. Lots of people (and esp. straight guys) detested the whole idea of boy bands etc., but resistance was utterly futile against a melody *that* Bacharach-takes-dictation-from-God gorgeous.(not even probably the most lampoonable, and then actually widely lampooned videos in history could stop it).
I’m so far won over that GA are/were a force to be reckoned with (and the ‘gift-wrapped kitty cats’ couplet is a wicked keeper), but they don’t yet move me (even when you don’t want to moved – the obvious biggies from outkast, gnarls, rihanna, etc. this decade pass this test for a pop that just rules your bones). Thanks again to all.
Swan, I’m in total agreement on I Want It That Way and on GA’s melodic lack (they also don’t really cut it played out, curiously). Still…. Call The Shots would be the fail-safe pop classic for me, while Biology is their “oh i say”* moment which finally led the general perception of them to turn from hit machine into cultural insitution (Neil Tennant heaped praise on it, for a start).
*a line used by the late BBC tennis commentator Dan Maskell for any unexpected backhand winner.
ps Nicola is my favourite.
@ wichita 78. Wow, taken *with* the video to accompany it, I reckon Biology is close to a pop masterpiece. I listened to the song by itself a few times first and found it kind of clunky (It made complete sense to me that Neil Tennant would like it, because a lot of PSB songs have exactly Biology’s sort of underwritten – verses and choruses sound like they’re from different songs – gear-grinding clunkiness I reckon. Blasphemy I know…) and the nonce lyrics were already starting to drive me completely mad.
Then I checked the vid out on youtube, and the impact was incredible: the visuals, which are about sudden en masse costume changes, just tie the song together amazingly well. So, yes, ‘Oh I say’ seems about right with that one. (Interestingly to me too, that vid’s impact is sensational *despite* it clarifying that these gals are no dancers: no movement training at all that I could see there. Before this vid. I was kind of thinking that GA maybe represented what Hot Gossip/Legs and Co et al. might have been if the business had been run differently then… but I now see that that’s wrong. GA are a great visual package, but they’re not physically graceful.)
I wonder what the equivalent pop moment is to JUST LOOK AT HIS FACE!
@80:probably not what you mean but there was the occasional disapproving tut tut and “look at his eyes you can see he’s on drugs” by parents watching early 70s Top of the Pops as what was invariably a hard rock/progressive group made a rare appearance on the show…
Seeing as we’re still (impatiently!) on GA here my own jump-on point came with ‘The Show’, or maybe the Pointer Sisters cover – I didn’t think much of them prior to that.
Re 80: Maybe one of those Robbie Williams post-Angels ‘look at me now, eh Gary’ singles?
re 80 I believe it occurs just before Christmas 1993
Swanstep & Rory – if I may be of assistance again: “JUST LOOK AT HIS FACE!” – Barry Davies again, his reaction to a spectacular goal by Francis Lee for Derby County against his former club Manchester City in 1974-75. Here’s the evidence: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EMmQk2lK_Ks
By a strange coincidence, “Interesting – VERY interesting!” could have been coined for the next Number One on this list…
Cheers, Erithian – very helpful!
“They think it’s all over – it is now!” – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6wyLvagyApY – the Oasis split?!
Cheers from me too erithian for explaining that, links and all! I wonder whether the era of football commentary catch-phrases entering the lexicon has passed now that football’s on sky and one or two matches aren’t picked out as matches of the day that everyone sees in quite the same way?
I’m treating this thread as a general Christmas themed one – it’s no more than Shakey’s ‘hit’ deserves.
Here’s a link to the video for the liveliest track on bob’s Christmas album:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JLZ8LPIh4Xc
and yes, that is a wig he’s wearing
Of non-religious Christmas songs, this is one of very few that does not make me want to spew when I hear it at Christmas parties, which must be something of a result for Mr Stevens.
I spotted Shaky once on a Christmas TOTP2 cranking this out and at one point he visibly sighs/pauses/looks pissed off to be going through the motions of the song and at that moment I lost and gained respect for him in equal measure. This is awful but I like it.