…coat.

Duran needed the smash, since both the parent Seven And The Ragged Tiger album and its first two singles had underperformed badly – although the fanbase ensured that they initially charted high, they slipped quickly – and unsurprisingly so since even by Duran’s humble standards Seven And The Ragged Tiger is an inedible bouillabase of semi-digested Japan and what Robert Palmer might once have led them to believe was electrofunk.

Even remixed, “The Reflex” is enough to engender indignant heartburn. I’m not going to waste time pointlessly working out whatever they meant by “dancing on the Valentine” or “watching over lucky clover” since it is highly likely to be random doggerel pieced together out of stray strips of chewing gum by kids who think that Burroughs just did it (the tragedy of Duran Duran is that they think they are the reincarnation of the New York Dolls, when in reality they are the Bay City Rollers). LeBon bellows his unlovable roar – like an ageing trout unable to extract the hook from his strutting nostril – and despite Rodgers (and indeed the original producer, the late Alex Sadkin, who seems to have been content with kipping in his hammock and letting them get on with it) the record is top-heavy, as stodgy as a seven-week-old Fray Bentos steak and kidney pie and boasts a turgidity worthy of summoning the plumbers.

Thereafter Duran more or less fell apart as a group; despite two further number two hits with “Wild Boys” and “A View To A Kill” (and what a right pair of number twos those were) they soon atomised, and by 1985 had detached into the dual studium factions of Arcadia and the Power Station. There would be reformations, further albums, more hits (at longer intervals) and even a little more screaming; by supposed virtue of their trudging on they have inexplicably emerged the heroes of the latter-day Stalinist rewriting of New Pop history. I was there, Reader. Costermongers will always be costermongers, no matter how prettily one dresses them up, or how many Renoirs or TV sets they manage to sell, or to whom.

At the time (I was nine) the lyrical content of songs like this fascinated me endlessly, seeming to hint at mysterious territories yet to be explored, but not to spoil it by telling all. Who or what was the reflex? What would happen if I accidentally bruised it? Why didn’t I use it? Because nobody showed me how to. But as Simon says on the fade, all these things are answered with a ?.

#39: poster sleeve or twelve inch picture disc (yay!); take your pick.

Sister Sledge: ‘Thinking of you’ is my all time desert island disc for it’s sheer syncopated joyfullness.

I saw Womack & Womack at the Brighton Dome in 1984 and got to bellow ‘Love Wars’ into one of their microphones at the front of the stage – and I remember listening to Two Tribes on the way to the gig.

‘One Love’ a hit because of the release of ‘Legend’ that year I presume.

Duran Duran : “The Reflex”
Nik Kershaw : “I Won’t Let the Sun Go Down on Me”
Sister Sledge : “Thinking of You”
Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark : “Locomotion”
Ultravox : “Dancing with Tears in My Eyes”
Howard Jones : “Pearl in the Shell”
Blancmange : “Don’t Tell Me”
Phil Collins : “Against All Odds”
Frankie Goes to Hollywood : “Two Tribes”
Grandmaster Flash & Melle Mel : “White Lines (Don’t Don’t Do It)”
The Special A.K.A : “Nelson Mandela”
Womack & Womack : “Love Wars”
The Style Council : “You’re The Best Thing”
Bob Marley & The Wailers : “One Love”
Bronski Beat : “Smalltown Boy”

Their peak in commercial terms, 1983-85, saw only 1 album (the duff Seven and the Ragged Tiger – even that title!), and a clutch of singles that generally disappointed. I think NME got it right when it reviewed “Notorious” and described it as their least strident, least paranoid single since “Rio”.

The bit between Rio and Notorious was a bit all over the place really.

This I quite like – it does have a few hooks but it’s not a patch on the 81-82 output, which I’m glad to see is getting more rerelease treatment soon.

“Like An Angel”, now there’s a song.

sorry.

Speak for yourself!

At the time I was really surprised this did so well as the previous single “New Moon On Monday” (Bowie on Mogadon)was a relative flop stiffing at no. 9. I thought releasing a third single from the album was asking for trouble. In that respect this showed there was a considerable resilience to the band and their following which has served them well over the decades.

The remix is stupid and fun and I like to think people bought it because of that and not because they were actually wowed by all the stutter FX. I mean, I was pretty fond of 80s 12″ remixes at the time an’ all, but really…

Perhaps Macca is similarly gifted – dog tails in the House of Lords (and Commons) became a big issue in 2006 during the passing of the Animal Welfare Bill, when there was an amendment to exempt working dogs from the ban on tail-docking; the example most commonly used being the sniffer dogs who check both Parliamentary chambers for explosives every day, and which were allegedly in danger of serious damage to their (vigorously wagging) tails as they crawled under the red and green benches to perform their task..

I find it very hard to differentiate between Duran Duran records; all sounded dreadful to me!

I like the idea that the “why-aye-aye” bit is the Geordie remix!

Self-consciously meaningless lyrics – inside my head I’m getting Weird Al Yankovic’s “Smells Like Nirvana”: “What is this song all about? / Can’t figure any lyrics out … We’re so loud and incoherent / Boy this oughta bug your parents…”

Obviously this was a remix of the Seven and the Ragged Tiger version – my first experience of a remix of a familiar track. Couple that with a poster sleeve, and I simply had to waste my money on it.

And all my classmates thought I was dead cool for doing so.