Comments on: THE PUB SEVEN DEADLY SINS: 6: Over Aggressive Table Grabs

By: Pete Baran

Pete Baran — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 17:17:02 +0000

Hmm, both excellent contenders…

By: NGJ

NGJ — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 15:33:50 +0000

And while I’m at it here’s another one – The Irritating Addendum. Scenario: there’s something of a crush at the bar. Folks are getting twitchy. There is mild jostling afoot. You’re up to be served next if only you can catch the barman’s eye – just have to wait until they’ve served the person beside you. But wait – who’s this? They’ve just been tapped on the shoulder by a friend. It seems two more people have arrived and want drinks. So this gets bolted on to the order (possibly EVEN AFTER MONEY HAS BEEN TENDERED) and on and on it goes. People lower down the pecking order are now being served but you’ve thrown in your lot with the current transaction… and here comes that friend again to announce Sally has arrived and wants a blue WKD.

By: NGJ

NGJ — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 15:24:28 +0000

Might I suggest as a deadly sin the seemingly innocuous but in reality horribly aggressive act of Ordering Coffee At The Bar? Especially when there’s something of a crush developing. How the heart sinks when I hear dialogue akin to “What can I get you?”/”Do you do coffee? I’ll just have a coffee then.” Why exactly have you come into a public house? Yes, I know they all do coffee now so why can’t it be ordered but this, as we all know, is simply the misguided dream of marketing execs. Put coffee in pubs if it fits your branding – but for God’s sake don’t encourage or even allow people to actually buy it. IT’S A TEN-MINUTE TRANSACTION.

By: greatlondonpubs

greatlondonpubs — Sun, 21 Jun 2009 05:43:37 +0000

remarkable victory on pubs by you in writting

By: CarsmileSteve

CarsmileSteve — Sat, 20 Jun 2009 10:25:41 +0000

aw, do you remember when wwe had conversations on blogs, those were the days…

http://freakytrigger.co.uk/ft/pumpkin/2001/05/the-pub-seven-deadly-sins-4-no-smoking-areas-reaction-number-one/

http://freakytrigger.co.uk/ft/pumpkin/2001/05/yes-pete-does-do-laundry-thus-explaining-my-emotional-and-psychological-upset/

http://freakytrigger.co.uk/ft/pumpkin/2001/05/the-pub-seven-deadly-sins-4-no-smoking-areas-reaction-number-two/

By: Pete Baran

Pete Baran — Fri, 19 Jun 2009 14:11:43 +0000

The spurious second No.1 is by Emma and is a Publoggers Deadly Sin, ie a sin committed by a publogger, namely NOT DRINKING. For completeness sake: THE PUB SEVEN DEADLY SINS: 1: Jukebox / MTV combo’s THE PUB SEVEN DEADLY SINS: 2: Stainless Steel Pissers THE PUB SEVEN DEADLY SINS: 3: Fake Doors THE PUB SEVEN DEADLY SINS: 4: No Smoking Areas (Possibly obsolete now) THE PUB SEVEN DEADLY SINS: 5. Menus On The Table THE PUB SEVEN DEADLY SINS: 6: Over Aggressive Table Grabs So I think we need one more sin, and possibly a replacement for 4.

By: Ewan

Ewan — Fri, 19 Jun 2009 13:12:48 +0000

Doing a quick search appears to reveal that there are two deadly sins numbered 1 (making seven in total), though by different people. Presumably this is some kind of confusingly named similar series?

By: CarsmileSteve

CarsmileSteve — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 10:30:57 +0000

i suppose the important point now is WHAT WILL BE THE SEVENTH DEADLY SIN???

(and will we write about it in the next seven years????)

By: Erithian

Erithian — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 09:18:08 +0000

I was with a group in my local in Barnehurst last Thursday, at a table, and there’s a couple on a comfy sofa next to us. Minding their own business except for asking me about one of the questions in the pub quiz (we were taking part, they weren’t), and more interested in what the Americans would call “sucking face”.

After a while they got up, the bloke asking me to keep an eye on their drinks on the table, and went off towards the beer garden. I prevented the staff from removing their drinks but they didn’t come back, and over half an hour later I spotted them walking happily across the car park. What can they have been doing all that time…?

BTW Pete, my best friend of ten years’ standing is Finnish, loves London pubs and will fall about laughing when she reads this.

By: ledge

ledge — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 18:28:36 +0000

“There is a pleasure in that last linger, patting your pockets for your keys, having a last sip, coming round to the point you’d forgotten, etc”

LEAVE! HURRY UP! GET OUT! Actually if you’re still sat down with drinks it’s ok, it’s when people start to stand up and put coats on and still take five minutes to clear the bloody area is when I get antsy.

Recently was at a pub with some friends, about eight of us, a friday evening but it wasn’t too crowded. A couple who were sat on a large table in the middle of the room left, and we decided to nab their table as it was further away from the annoyingly loud loudspeaker. A barmaid came up to tell us that they had ordered food and would be coming back. We expressed scepticism, after all they’d left none of their belongings behind as indication of their claim. The barmaid started to remonstrate with us, “how would you like it if this happened to you”, etc. Perhaps she had a point but a) we didn’t appreciate her attitude and ii) you can’t just abandon a table on a friday evening and not expect it to get taken.

So anyway they did come back, but not before the pub had filled up a bit and all available tables were gone. So they had to eat their food at the bar, ok we felt a little guilty at this point but it was only finger food and they seemed happy enough. But the barmaid came over and whispered harshly to us, “they’re eating their food STANDING UP!”

By: Pete Baran

Pete Baran — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 12:31:51 +0000

Ah, you are describing “the hover”.

It is a tricky one, and requires co-operation between the leavers and the hoverers to go smoothlty. Of course if there are more than one set of hoverers it can go terribly wrong. The method I use is as follows:

Acknowledge the leavingness of the group a little two loudly, as if to say to all others that it is already yours. Also they should hear you and hopefully give it up to you.

Send a few people over to physically hover. They should joke about their presumptuousness, perhaps ask if they are going. I find using the phrase “I’d steal the pennies from your eyes too” is suitably disconcerting to make most people shift.

However if rival hoverers have more people, or a pregnant lady, you fancy them, other rules kick in.

By: Tracer Hand

Tracer Hand — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 12:25:39 +0000

There is a related thin line regarding pub table grabs. It is when, in a semi-crowded pub, you see some people in the first stages of getting up to leave. What do you and your five friends do? It’s a tricky business. You want to stake your claim, which requires physical proximity. But who knows how quickly they’re actually going to leave? There is a pleasure in that last linger, patting your pockets for your keys, having a last sip, coming round to the point you’d forgotten, etc and it’s no fun having six people standing grimly over you as you do so.

By: Pete Baran

Pete Baran — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 11:12:37 +0000

I WAS WATCHING THE CRICKET.

And she was crazy. And 49.

By: Tommy Mack

Tommy Mack — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 11:09:01 +0000

I used to live with a Finnish girl. She was an unhinged, unholy terror. One of her college mates told me all the Finns there were just as bad. Conclusive proof.

By: Erithian

Erithian — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 11:07:33 +0000

Now let me get this straight Pete. You’re in a pub and are joined by three Finnish women, one of whom is rubbing her hands along your leg within an hour of meeting you, and you’re COMPLAINING ABOUT IT?! Let me know where the pub was and I’ll happily take your place…