Jun 09

I Hate Andy Murray

FT + TMFD81 comments • 5,986 views
Andy Murray
Andy Murray chastises a tennis ball

During Wimbledon’s inaugural set of night-time tennis on Monday night, played under what’s become the most famous roof since the Sistine Chapel, I found that I loathe every particle of Andy Murray.

Now, I realize Andy Murray is a professional athlete. Macho theatrics and being as interesting as a pile of firewood come with the territory. But Wimbledon is not just a collection of freakishly fit young adults whacking things between each other, it’s a drama, and in this drama he pushes buttons I didn’t even know I possessed.

I can’t stand his super-psyched mom.

I can’t stand his periwinkle-eyed girlfriend.

I can’t stand the way he throws his wrist bands into the crowd, like Jimmy Page blessing his fans with a plectrum.

I cringe at his whiny tantrums after every mis-hit, the snarled barks at himself to “FOCUS!” (I would have thought focusing was a given.)

And the fierce fist-pumps that accompany every single point he wins — and he wins a lot of them — are tiresome and bathetic.

People whose opinions on tennis I respect say that despite all this they love his game. And it’s true that he will occasionally dink in a nifty drop-shot that leaves his opponent basically pissed off at him (which is the default reaction to Andy Murray anyway as far as I’m concerned). And he does run after every ball like a singed hyena. And yes, he’s Scottish, so I guess that’s something, though it’s difficult to hear it through the braying monotony of his voice.

But mostly I see a guy who is content to hit soft backhand slices at you until you lose all zest for life and find yourself strategizing excuses to forfeit the match out of sheer boredom — feign knee injury? eat some amphetamines? say that you actually really need to call your sister right now cause it was her birthday yesterday and you forgot? — and boom your shot goes wide.

You look across the net and there’s Andy. Fist pump! BARK! C’MON!!


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  1. 26
    a tanned rested and unlogged lørd sükråt wötsît on 2 Jul 2009 #

    there is no ayn rand in sledging

  2. 27
    Pete on 3 Jul 2009 #

    “Every time I fucked Ayn Rand she gave me a biscuit”

  3. 28
    nick gallagher on 3 Jul 2009 #

    Re: Andy Murray.
    He really is an annoying tosser,I’d love to see him lose just to hear what excuses he came up with in that annoying droning voice of his that makes watching paint dry seem like an extreme sport.

  4. 29
    Lucy on 3 Jul 2009 #

    I think Andy Murray is the most loathsome thing to represent “British” sport this guy is not “British” he is Scottish, most of the English cannot stand his conderscending and patronising swagger and mannerisms. The other thing is all of the idiots dresed up is union flag clothing (made in China) looking like the Chavs they are jumping on the badwaggon of some nasty guy. The guy is Scottish, just like David Coulthard and Colin McRae. They do not represent the English or the Welsh or the Irish. The notion of British is convoluted rubbish and Anrew Murray is the prime example of Media bandwagoning and “I think I am the best” Murray.

  5. 30
    AndyPandy on 3 Jul 2009 #

    Come on Roddick – almost there (I hope)

  6. 31
    lonepilgrim on 3 Jul 2009 #

    Andy Roddick’s sparkling personality wins the day.

    Go Murray!

  7. 32
    Ronald on 3 Jul 2009 #

    Yes, he’s out!

    No more silly whining. No more super-psyched mom. No more unnecessary hawk-eye challenges. And luckily no more fist-pumping every single one of your opponents’ unforced errors.

  8. 33
    TFUNK on 3 Jul 2009 #

    Thank you! I live watching tennis but cannot stand watching someone fist pump and yell c’mon! after every shot! It’s beyond annoying. Luckily Mr. Roddick has taken care of the problem this go around!

  9. 34
    Conrad on 4 Jul 2009 #

    22, I’m not sure that Bob Dylan would agree with you…Andrew Ridgeley might

    in sport though, you are absolutely right.

  10. 35
    raashi on 4 Jul 2009 #

    i fukiin lovee andy murray ur juz a fukiin idoit man go 2 hell

  11. 36
    James on 4 Jul 2009 #

    Response to raashi :

    You may love Andy Murray all you want but stop ramming him and all this fake crap down throats of those who want neutral and impartial coverage of Tennis and other associated sports on the BBC. This is because we all pay into the licence fee those who like, love, loathe hate and those who just do not care. So keep your selfish attitude to yourself. Some will hate him just as much as he is quite stupidly loved, by you idiots.

  12. 37
    Kevin on 6 Jul 2009 #

    You don’t get to #3 in the tennis world rankings by simply hitting soft backhand slices.

  13. 38
    Annabel on 10 Jul 2009 #

    you dont even know him, how can you judge his mum and girlfriend?
    I agree you cant get to number 3 by hitting soft backhands.. hes a great player and most of the haters have just swallowed the media crap. I dont understand why you hate him.
    yes he is not as charming as federer but he is only 22 and there are not many 22 year olds able to deal with the amount of pressure he has on him.

    I love Murray.

  14. 39
    John on 28 Jan 2010 #

    To Annabel,

    There are tonnes of people under 22 who have more pressure then him.

  15. 40
    chris on 28 Jan 2010 #

    brilliant piece about andy muray- i cant stand him either-hes about as likable as a mouldy piece of cheap white bread

  16. 41
    Onion Salad on 31 Jan 2010 #

    Ah that was really enjoyable seeing him get spanked by Federer. Hope he enjoyed the tennis lesson given to him in the 1st 2 sets. Can’t stand the abhorrent Scottish twat.

  17. 42
    Emma on 20 Feb 2010 #

    I agree with Onion Salad, there really is nothing better than seeing him getting a good spanking by a real classy gifted player XD

    Now hopefully he’ll bomb out of Wimbledon early and we won’t have to endure the shitstorm of hype we had last year.

  18. 43
    mirran on 1 Jul 2010 #

    do any of u hav a clue about tennis? talk about the games and not your predudices.

  19. 44
    mirran on 1 Jul 2010 #

    got to ask why u hate murray? is it cos he’s not english, and doesn’t deserve in your small minds to represent the UK. at least he’s into the semi’s unlike the english football team (payback is a bitch) and yes he might get gubbed in the next round, but at least he will have got further than ur (world beaters) ha ha

  20. 45
    thefatgit on 1 Jul 2010 #

    I tend to dislike Murray for the very reasons given above, but “hate” the chap? Has he wronged me personally? No. Has his actions on court annoyed me? Yes. Has he said anything that offended me? No.

    Will Murray get past Nadal?


    Will that make me dislike him all the more?


    If by some miracle, he beats Nadal and makes it to Sunday’s final, will he have my support?


    Who would be a churl?

  21. 46
    lex on 1 Jul 2010 #

    Hahaha I really like Murray but he must never win Wimbledon, I’m behind Djokovic (sadly not literally).

    Still can’t take team sports seriously!

  22. 47
    mirran on 1 Jul 2010 #

    why must he never win wimbledon? i thought he was british, always being told to support the home countries but that appears to only be the case if you are english.

  23. 48

    The writer of the original post is from Tennessee, mirran

  24. 49
    lex on 1 Jul 2010 #

    The great thing about individual sports like tennis is that there’s no reason or rhyme to cheering based on nationalism. I like Murray for his game and have happily cheered him on at the AO/RG/USO, but a) I like Djokovic more, b) the press idiocy, already hard to take, would reach unprecedented levels in the event of Murray winning Wimbledon.

    I think the people who usually cheer for British players but don’t cheer for Murray because he’s Scottish (and disguise it by blaming his personality, whatever the fuck they think they mean by that) are racists who should be beheaded, though.

  25. 50
    punctum on 1 Jul 2010 #

    Lex seems to be nearest the mark (#46 notwithstanding) in this rather unfortunate thread.

    If Rafa beats Andy tomorrow – please note the “if,” #45; we do not possess the ability to see into the future, no one knows who is going to win the match until it has been played, and what you should have said was “Do I believe that Murray will get past Nadal?” – then will Andy get all the post-World Cup opprobrium spilt on him? I hardly think it likely; as usual he will be termed “Scotland’s Andy Murray” if he loses and “Britain’s Andy Murray” if he wins but overall there will be no net loss to the British sporting psyche. There will be the usual grumblings and cackles imbued with the casual racism and not-so-casual snobbery seen elsewhere throughout these comments if he fails to beat the world’s top-ranked tennis player in a semi-final but more probably, as with England FC, there will be resigned shrugs, although, unlike England FC, there is also the saving and hopeful probability that he will do at least as well next year.

    Ultimately, what Murray haters can’t stand is that Murray’s in the semi-final tomorrow, and they’re not. Or, to put it another way, the person they really can’t stand is themselves, and Murray, like the England team, will be a useful conduit for projecting their self-hatred onto a convenient target.

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