BLONDIE - “Heart Of Glass”
Most of the great records we’ve encountered on Popular find modern-day imitators - but often these imitators aren’t bands I choose to listen to. If a thrusting young beat combo wants to make their own version of “Hot Love” then they have excellent taste, and I wish them every joy of it, but I’ll just sit that one out, ta. “Heart Of Glass”, though - and the rest of Blondie’s hits - are a blueprint for a lot of the pop records I’ve enjoyed most this decade: Ellis-Bextor, Annie, Richard X, Girls Aloud would all murder to have this in their back catalogue (by some kind of marrying-your-grandmother time paradox).
It was ever thus: when I started reading the music press, Melody Maker’s Chris Roberts was in a great lather over his pet “blonde” movement, and the figleaf of a dropped “i” spared nobody’s blushes. Debbie Harry’s distanced “oo-ooh-aa-aah” post-chorus hook ancestors shoegaze vocal tics as much as her unblinking hauteur births modern robopop. Blondie, in other words, have never not been cool - well, almost never.
This has an odd effect on “Heart Of Glass” itself, in that its status as a pop Rosetta Stone rubs uneasily against its sublime diffidence. Debbie Harry’s coos and sighs aren’t especially regretful, and she mumbles most of the words: fine, I’ll sing about this guy, but seriously, he wasn’t a big deal. “Pain in the ass” gets it right. As the video suggests, the record is a knowing trifle - new wavers go disco with more than half an eyebrow raised - which happened to hit a mood so perfectly that it became immortal. That isn’t entirely Harry’s doing - just listen to that gorgeously restrained pop-and-click intro for how well-made “Heart Of Glass” is - but she’s what makes this track so iconic. The fleeting anomie of the pleasure-seeking clubhound, as captured by Bryan Ferry earlier in the 70s, but discofied, feminised, futurised - and near thirty years later still cryptic and still resonant. 9
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mike on September 8th, 2008
#48 - Although my personal chart was usually confined to official commercial releases, I did score a Number One Smash in the spring of 1982 with a home-taped recording. My recording partner turned professional later that year, and can be heard on a number of hits by a group that we’ll be coming to on Popular in the fullness of time.
SteveM on September 8th, 2008
re #48 rest assured Tom your cat’s cover of ‘Stop The Cavalry’ did grace my top 10 for a couple of weeks the following June.
Erithian on September 8th, 2008
My goodness, talk of people’s own personal charts does beg the question “do you know you’re saying this out loud?” A friend and I each had our own charts based on our own singles collections for three years, stopping (in my case at least) as O-levels hove into view.
Movement was decided by a roll of the dice to decide whether a record went up or down, then another roll of three dice to decide how far. With such randomness records could spend ages on the chart (Wings’ “Hi Hi Hi” and Bowie’s “Jean Genie” were on the list for most of the three years) and unless you cheated you couldn’t decide what would be on the chart at what time of year (hence “Merry Xmas Everybody” topping my chart in August). The highest new entry ever was the Rods’ “Do Anything You Wanna Do”.
God I can’t believe I’ve shared that. Rosie, you’re right, males ARE sadder…
SteveM on September 8th, 2008
Dice? What the…
“And down to #2 this week having been slain by an elf it’s those valiant warlords Ashford & Simpson”
DJ Punctum on September 8th, 2008
#53: Oh for pity’s sake stand up for your passions man! Don’t be all Alexander Armstrong wimpy!
(and thanks to my dear wife for disproving that tired old anti-thesis upthread!)
As I’m sure I must have said before here (or somewhere) I did my own charts regularly from ‘74-7 until the actual charts began to agree with me and I’m sure I must have the obscurest of all personal number ones - “Daybreak” by Survival Kit, on the shortlived Island USA label, September ‘75, a nifty little nu-Northern Soul toetapper. B-side was “You Bring Out The Love In Me” by Bobby McClure and AFAIK neither has ever appeared on any Northern Soul compilations.
Tom on September 8th, 2008
It should be added that there was method in the cat recording madness: my personal Top 40s tended to include all the records I didn’t hate out of the Top 40, re-ordered for preference, and then we invented ones to fill in the gaps. Modesty prevailed, naturally - my own invented records were not likely to be placed higher than Madonna or Prince ones, whereas I figured my cat could probably do a better job than Sal Solo.
SteveM on September 8th, 2008
I once read Paul Heaton say in NME he’d been doing his own chart for many years but it was a monthly top 20 (LIGHTWEIGHT) and he admitted to ‘A Design For Life’ having made it a second month. Somehow this was enough to encourage me to continue ranking favourite songs on a weekly basis well into university years and beyond.
DJ Punctum on September 8th, 2008
#56: So how high did you place “Ruff Mix” by Wonderdog?
mike on September 8th, 2008
For a few heady months in 1979, I compiled a separate chart for songs by school bands / local bands / mine own fair compositional hand. Dolly Mixture had several Number Ones, which I’m sure would have pleased them.
In the autumn of 1984, I wrote a BASIC program for the Acorn Electron, which used the machine’s random number generator to simulate the movement of a Top Twenty singles chart. Thus the movemements weren’t totally random, as I weighted them based on whether a single was rising or falling the charts, etc. It was quite a sophisticated piece of spaghetti code, but it all went horribly wrong during execution when Black Lace’s “Agadoo” started mysteriously replicating itself, eventually occupying 50% of my Top Ten.
Forces at work, man. You don’t wanna f**k with that stuff.
Mark G on September 8th, 2008
#58: I suspect Maurice “Obie” Oberstein…
DJ Punctum on September 8th, 2008
In fact it was the first manifestation of the greatest enemy Popular will ever have to face…
LondonLee on September 8th, 2008
Blimey, you are a bunch of pop anoraks. The most I ever did was an occasionally updated list of my favourite records of all time. For many years ‘Tightrope’ by ELO had the top spot then I started going backwards in time and it was supplanted by ‘Mother of Pearl’ by Roxy Music and the last time I remember doing it (by the time I was in art college) it was ‘A Change Is Gonna Come’ by Sam Cooke. Don’t think I’d change that one now anyway.
jeff w on September 8th, 2008
I must say it never occurred to me to challenge the established order of things by compiling my own singles chart. I was too busy (in my anorak period: roughly late ‘79 until mid-1980) just keeping tabs on the movements within the Real Actual Top 40. I was blissfully unaware that anyone published this stuff, so if I didn’t write it all down…
Then I discovered the weekly music press.
mike on September 8th, 2008
…and here, scanned by mine own fair hand, is the label of the original 12″, showing Debbie in a distinctly more flattering light:
http://troubled-diva.com/blondie-label.jpg
mike on September 8th, 2008
…and here is a detail from the back cover of the same 12″, which has always tickled me. Can YOU spot the elementary error?
http://troubled-diva.com/blondie-back-cover.jpg
Mark G on September 9th, 2008
Hah! Had that 12″ for years (still do), never noticed that!
mike on September 9th, 2008
They obviously had to send a junior down to HMV Oxford Street… and that is an HMV sticker, yes? It looks a little clearer on the cover itself.
Mark G on September 9th, 2008
Unless Debbie Harry worked there for a bit.
DJ Punctum on September 9th, 2008
Thanks to Satan’s friend Websense blocking these scans I have no idea what either of you are going on about.
Mark G on September 9th, 2008
OK, on the pics of “Albums Available”, the album “Blondie” seems to have a HMV price ticket on DHarry’s chest.
Which could be seen as a comment on the marketing of pop icons, or just that they forgot to take the price sticker off it before they photographed it for the sleeve.
DJ Punctum on September 9th, 2008
My money’s on a backroom stock boy ‘avin’ a larf. Where was TV’s Bradley Walsh in 1979?
mike on September 9th, 2008
Would that be a backroom Private Stock boy? Eh? Eh?
Oh, I just kill myself sometimes…
Mark G on September 9th, 2008
Funnily enough, back around this time, I found “Parallel Lines” in a local junk shop, with a label pressed onto the playing surface on one side. So, I sent it to the record company address. They sent me a new copy with a “you really should have taken it back to the shop, but we’ll let you off this time” letter. Total cost, 50p, plus postage there.
a logged out p^nk s lord sukråt wötsit on September 9th, 2008
haha it has a post-punky “celebrate/reveal the sales-process” design vibe to it — i kinda miss when that was all still new and fun (and i was young and wide open)
DJ Punctum on September 9th, 2008
#72: oh gawd, Mike’s Maconieisms remind me that the Mercury awards are on tonight; I think I’ll watch ITV1’s mirthful retrospective on On The Buses instead…
DJ Punctum on September 9th, 2008
If Elbow win, will the last person to leave pop music please remember to turn out the lights?
mike on September 9th, 2008
#76 - DNFTT!
I’m rooting for Rachel Unthank, though. If ever there was a year for Token Folk to win it, this would be the year.
DJ Punctum on September 9th, 2008
:-p
Yes, I’d be very happy if The Bairns won.
Mark G on September 9th, 2008
Me too. In order:
1. Rachel Unthank
2. Everyone else xcpept..
3. Rubber Plant.
FT's Lena on September 9th, 2008
I would love it if either Rachel or Estelle won, but my hopes are not that high.
pink champale on September 9th, 2008
made up charts with songs by your cat? you lot is nutters.
anyway, HOG would be my third, or maybe fourth, ten and i think it has the best (and yep, most modern) sound of any of the number ones up to now. as soon as it starts you’re enveloped in something that’s impossibly shimmering and glamorous while still feeling warm and human. and then on top of that you’ve got the extraordinary vocals. lovely new york hipster diffidence, whole lines done more as a single sound than a set of words (i still can’t decipher half the lyrics)* and then the glorious moments where it snaps into focus foor the punchlines - “pain in the ass” indeed. all this and pop’s best ever haircut.
*”mucho mistrust” who’d have thought?
DJ Punctum on September 9th, 2008
If Estelle wins, cue Maconie rant in next week’s Radio Times/on Radio 2 tomorrow evening re. Mercury judges being prejudiced against white men with guitars eh eh.
(go girl go!)
Tom on September 9th, 2008
pink champale: excellent point about the lyrics shifting in and out of focus! That’s something I really like about it - it’s like a half-overheard conversation where you suddenly pick up on intriguing snippets.
wichita lineman on September 9th, 2008
The Caravelles (Brit girl duo with candyfloss vocal technique) were once described as “appearing to sing in French”, which fits Heart Of Glass quite snugly too.
I was amazed at how many of my friends had worked out “mucho mistrust” until they told me Parallel Lines came with a lyric sheet.
Estelle! Got to be! But I’m worried the M People factor means that nothing so pop has a chance…
Mark G on September 9th, 2008
I always thought it was “Mucho Mistrust” but that’s more thanks to NME’s Lone Groover cartoon…
lonepilgrim on September 9th, 2008
#76
are you gonna hit the light switch then DJP?
burial woz robbed
#85 lone groover - now there’s a memory - I’m off to scour the interweb
Mark G on September 10th, 2008
“Mucho Mucho Mucho Marvey
I’ve got a chick from the Yugoslavey”
DJ Punctum on September 10th, 2008
Burial couldn’t be arsed to turn up morelike (infallible Mercury rule: the prize goes to whoever can be bothered to show up).
It was sickening watching 6Music presenter Lauren Laverne and Radio 2 presenter Charles Hazelwood slavering over victorious 6Music presenter Guy Garvey in that hideously quasi-Masonic way that only the BBC can do. Fix fix FIX.
To paraphrase a future Popular artist: for God’s sake burn it down.
Mark G on September 10th, 2008
I fear his popularity is behind him, alas…
DJ Punctum on September 10th, 2008
Still, well done to Sue Perkins on Maestro who definitely did Beethoven’s Fifth better service than Goldie and thank fuck Jane Asher didn’t win.
Les Tennant on September 10th, 2008
I’d concluded that the MMP wouldn’t go to an artist who hadn’t turned up - but then remembered that PJ Harvey gave her acceptance speech from Washington DC in 2001, so it wasn’t always the case even if it may be so now.