BRIAN AND MICHAEL - “Matchstalk Men And Matchstalk Cats And Dogs”
If Don McLean’s “Vincent” presents the romantic case against critical neglect, “Matchstalk Men” is its populist inverse. Instead of the complacent mass refusing to see genius through Van Gogh’s pain, here we have the snooty establishment admitting - too late! - that the Northern folk who adored L.S.Lowry were onto something. Brian and Michael score the win on solid pop grounds - their tune is better and their production is hotter. Well, Colliery Brass Bands are always hot in my world.
But then I’m one of the Southern jessies who’s consuming this record as a neat little capsule of Northern-ness - much like a Lowry painting. Brian and Michael are smarter than McLean, too - they’re sharp on exactly why Lowry gained recognition (“come on down and wear the old cloth cap”!) and you might generously say that they leave open the question of the point at which pride turns into pandering.
I associate this song not so much with Lowry’s art as with the hand-drawn history lessons Blue Peter used to provide - little motion comics of Marie Antoinette or Louis Pasteur. I can’t remember whether there was one on Lowry, but if not this record pretty much provides it as it holds your hand through its mildly didactic, wholly sentimental lesson: the “factory gates”/”pearly Gates” switch is a clunker whatever your regionality. The song goes on too long and the kids’ choir doing their ally-ally-o routine is a step way too far. But for all that this is only a bad record, not a terrible one. 3
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Erithian on July 25th, 2008
Rosie - do you know Victoria Wood’s “Northerners”? -
http://www2.prestel.co.uk/cello/Northerners.htm
Waldo on July 25th, 2008
Don’t forget t’whippets, Rosie! Aye and bread an’ drippin’. Eeeee! Champion, that!
SteveM on July 25th, 2008
Billy re Partridge I believe it was ‘deep bath’ and not ‘big bath’ although surely the bath was as big as it was deep.
DJ Punctum on July 25th, 2008
I wonder why I remember “I Wonder Why” - the most boring record ever made.
rosie on July 25th, 2008
Erithian @ 26: I didn’t but I do now and I’m most grateful for it.
Waldo @ 27: Ay lad, and t’pigeons, and t’prize leeks from t’allotment.
I am partial to a meat and potato pie with mushy peas, and a brass band.
The social coding of regional accents is a major irritation. You just knew, from listening to MMAMCAD, that Brian and Michael would turn up on the telly in baggy caps and clogs. Nobody expected David Essex to do anything like that.
Waldo on July 25th, 2008
No, no, no, Marcello. “Hold On Tight” by ELO was far more boring. Not just boring, fucking annoying!
Erithian on July 25th, 2008
Oh definitely. That pointless and ungrammatical French bit - “accrochEZ-toi à ton rêve”. VOUS-form imperative used with “toi”, they wouldn’t get away with that in third form. Write it out Life of Brian-style 100 times.
LondonLee on July 25th, 2008
Sorry, but nothing, nothing in ELO’s catalogue is as annoying as ‘Horace Wimp’
I vaguely remember the ‘Zigger Zagger’ chant at Chelsea from the couple of games I saw in the early 70s with the famed Sexton team. I also remember them showing us the play on telly at school. Would love to see that again.
SteveM on July 25th, 2008
‘Hold On Tight’ boring?! What madness lies before me?
wichita lineman on July 25th, 2008
Yes, Horace Wimp. I dug out Kenny Everett’s World’s Worst Records album out recently to play Steve Bent’s weird I’m Going To Spain for a friend who only knew the Fall’s version. If I ever get the chance to compile Vol.2 Horace Wimp will be present. It makes me feel sick and, in some unnerving way, frightened at the same time. The whispery voice that says “hor-risss” on the fade is straight out of David Lynch.
On the other hand, what kind of madness suggests I Wonder Why is boring? I mean, the ‘Waddy’s version is their standard drape karaoke, with a backing track so perfunctory UB40 would have frowned. But Dion & The Belmonts’ 1958 original is a genuine confused-teenager-in-love masterpiece. “When you’re with me, I’m sure you’re always true/When I’m away, I wonder what you do/I wonder why I’m sure you’re always true”. Ouch!
wichita lineman on July 25th, 2008
I’m with Rosie - Vincent is a little gooey, but it’s on a different planet to Matchstalk Men. Are matchstalks different to matchsticks, by the way, or are Brian and Michael just being uptight in the same way that some people say margarine with a hard ‘g’ because it’s the ‘proper’ pronunciation?
Gilbert O’Sullivan’s We Will, which I love and feel obliged to mention once again, is more genuinely “northern”: it’s at once reminiscent of the Stockport viaduct, the football pitch in Kes, and postcards from Scarborough. B&M are more reminiscent of that bloody awful folk song in the mid 70s Wigan Casino documentary, or Mike Harding’s Rochdale Cowboy. It’s a long, long way from Liege And Lief.
vinylscot on July 25th, 2008
An odd thing about this piece of tripe (stereotypical northern reference), which didn’t apply to some earlier “crap” #1s like Telly Savalas and JJ Barrie, is that Radio 1 actually PLAYED this… even for months before it was a hit. They actually seemed to like it!
It was one of these sleeper songs which seemed to be around for ages before it actually hit the charts, then when it did scrape into the 40, it flew, although it is also one of those rare records which actually went down the chart, from three to four, the week before it hit the top. I have a theory that people bought this simply to get its chart run over and done with so that Radio 1 would stop playing it.
I hated this then and still can not abide it now.
Why “Matchstalk” anyway - what’s wrong with “Matchstick”?
fivelongdays on July 25th, 2008
Erithian @ 18
I’d argue that there seems to be a lack of Mancunian cultural cringe. It’s cool to be a Manc, where it’s not cool to be a Geordie, or a Scouser, or a Brummie, or a Westcountryman, or indeed anywhere from outside London or a small stretch of the M62!
Dan R on July 26th, 2008
#32
A(nother) pedant writes…
Unless ELO are using the ‘chanson’ convention of sounding the usually-silent final ‘e’. As in Jacques Brel’s ‘Ne me quitte pas’ (NER MER KEEETER PUH). In which case they are actually singing ‘accroche-toi à ton rêve’, which is grammatical.
a tanned rested and unlogged lørd sükråt wötsît on July 26th, 2008
an “advanced” english teacher staged peter terson’s zigger zagger as a play at my school — it was a cutting-edge socially relevant drama at the time, when political theatre was a fashionable thing (i think, w/o lookin it up, that it was a royal court theatre production) and quite a daring thing for a school to put on (’m sure it has serious swears!), tho as my school was rawther posh i ever so slightly cringe at the thought of how my rich arty kid chums went about acting what they thought of as poor rough kids … actually all i remember is that when the curtain goes up, what you’re looking at is a sea (”sea” in the staging i saw) of people actually on the terraces, and all the action as i recall it takes place in the crowd; which is a total coup-de-theatre in itself, hence the fact i can remember it so clearly
aren’t match-stalks the ones you get in matchbooks — ie they’re attached (like plant stalks) rather than separate and loose? and they’re bendier — matchsticks a likely to break if you bend em, whereas matchstalks don’t, as they’re card rather than wood?
a tanned rested and unlogged lørd sükråt wötsît on July 26th, 2008
in the sleeve picture,one of the kids is walking right to left — he’s two long from the one throwng bth his arms up — and his feet are exactly like match-heads as you can bend them on a match-stalk (made of cardboard) but NOT on a match-stick (made of slightly brittle wood,which you can maybe bend in the middle but not so close to the head)?
FT's Conrad on July 26th, 2008
It was around this time, wasn’t it, that Tom Browne handed over the reins to Simon Bates on the Top 20 Sunday evening chart rundown.
I don’t really have any recollection of the Tom Browne era, I’d be interested in Popular opinions on him. What was his presenting style?
mike on July 26th, 2008
Tom Browne’s presenting style? As I recall, it was cheerfully relaxed and efficient. Browne just got on with the job, basically.
I think it was in May 1978 that the publicly available chart (i.e. published in Record Mirror and Music Week) was expanded from a Top 40 to a Top 75 - and I have a hunch that at the same time, the Bates-fronted Sunday evening Radio One countdown expanded from a Top 20 to a Top 40. Others will no doubt confirm or deny (glances meaningfully at DJP).
As for the Brian and Michael record: it has been interesting to read some of the fair-minded and charitable assessments of MMAMCAD upthread, which prompted me to open up YouTube and give the song One Last Chance. But no, sorry: I hated it then (having just turned 16, it was practically my generational duty to hate it), whereas it merely irks me now. Like others, I dislike the stock Hovis-advert folksiness, in which the song revels a little too keenly for comfort. The song also dips its toes slightly too long into the tiresome slough of Put-Upon North vs. Snooty South victim mentality (i.e. just as Lowry was marginalised for most of his life by the Art establishment, so are the brave lads and lasses of Lancashire marginalised by… oh, you fill in the rest).
A couple of months ago, we visited a rather grand antiques fair in Buxton. Several Lowry miniatures were on sale - little more than rough pencil sketches, clearly knocked up in no more than a couple of minutes, and maybe torn from the pages of a sketch pad - for around £18,000 each. There’s some sort of irony there, but it’s too hot and I’m too hungover to tease it out further!
FT's Conrad on July 26th, 2008
43 - Thanks Mike. I think the Sunday broadcast of the Top 20 didn’t expand to the classic two hour Top 40 format until November of 78, so a few Number Ones to go before we get there…
Waldo on July 27th, 2008
Mike’s description of Tom Browne’s style is brief but picture-perfect. I remember Browne well and listened to his rundown avidly. He simply played the discs and got off. I wish one or two others would have followed his example. He used to pass by the unplayed Judge Dread hits without comment other than to announce their presence on the chart and the only bit of excitement I recall was when both versions of “Paloma Blanca” were paired side by side one week. Browne began by explaining how strange this was before playing the George Baker version. Just before the female vocalist took over, Tom switched onto “the homegrown version from Jonathan King” and off we went again. As this faded away (he didn’t play it all), Tom said something like “George Baker and Jonathan King. You pays your money and you takes your choice”. This was as exciting as it got with Tom Browne but I think that because of this he was the perfect guy for that job. This was the national poll of record sales after all and opinion would have been quite out of place.
He slightly resembled Patrick Mower, as I recall. Or was that my German teacher Mr Dyke?
DJ Punctum on July 27th, 2008
The Showaddywaddy/UB40 comparison’s a good one, except at least UB40 made some bloody good records in the first couple of years of their existence…I mean, props to them for generally picking less than obvious songs to cover but “I Wonder Why” their dreary reading made number two whereas Dion’s “Born To Be With You” which should have been number one for 96 weeks missed the chart altogether…
The changeover to the Top 75 happened with the chart w/e 13 May 1978, and in the same week the Radio 1 chart expanded from a Top 30 to a Top 40.
DJ Punctum on July 27th, 2008
I remember Radio 1 brought Tom Browne back in the mid-eighties to voice some jingles and listeners wrote in to complain about why they’d hired a Prince Charles impersonator…
wichita lineman on July 28th, 2008
Ouch. Prince Charles?! I loved Tom Browne’s voice - which could possibly be described as “smoky” - and his matter-of fact delivery. Rare moments of excitement for him were any appearance by Elvis Presley, when his voice would become ever-so-slightly sing song, eg “at number nine, a suspicious Elvis” when playing Suspicion. Never got enthusiastic about junk, as Peter Powell did. Always even-handed was Tom.
The beginning of a 1977 Top 20 Sunday countdown, featuring the familiar dash of CCS’s Brother and Tom’s tones, can be heard on the opening to Saint Etienne’s Studio Kinda Filthy. Apparently.
Mark G on July 28th, 2008
“Hold on Tight”….
There was some talk of the novel “Paperback Writer” where “Hold on to your dream” was one of the songs recorded by the newly reformed Beatles.
After so many years of ELO songs being direect or indirect lifts of Beatle tunes, here was one that was a direct lift from a Beatles song that didn’t even exist!
DJ Punctum on July 29th, 2008
The only time I ever heard Tom Browne be critical about a record on Solid Gold Sixty was when he played “5 Minutes” by the Stranglers (which perversely is probably my favourite Stranglers single) and uttered a considered “Hmm…I didn’t quite get that one, but it’s gone up to number eleven, so someone obviously did…”
For Peter “Tron is the greatest film ever made, apart from other ones” Powell’s attitude towards the singles chart (he had to do the Tuesday teatime recap) it may be worth coming back to examine that a little more in the eighties (there’ll be several key opportunities)…
Billy Smart on July 29th, 2008
‘Five Minutes’ - God, that’s one of the few songs about violence that actually really does sound frightening (like ‘Gimmie Shelter’); “They CAME ON a Saturday NIGHT!! They KILLED HIS DOG!! And they RAPED HIS WIFE!!” Annoyingly omitted from both Stranglers Greatest Hits albums that I’ve got.
Mark G on July 29th, 2008
t’was a cat.
Also, disavows a racist reaction.
DJ Punctum on July 29th, 2008
Based on Straw Dogs IIRC.
mike on July 29th, 2008
The Stranglers’ “Five Minutes” was reviewed on Tony Blackburn’s excruciating National Pop Panel phone-in feature.
“It’s got a good beat to it!”, chirped the caller.
“Yeah, but banging your head against a wall has got a ‘good beat’ to it”, retorted Blackburn, witheringly.
I have no idea why I remember these things.
DJ Punctum on July 29th, 2008
Itching to reproduce some choice quotes from Blackburn’s three-year stewardship of the Sunday Top 40 show but since the best ones are SB-tempting I’ll save those for later except for his venerable “That was Public Image Ltd. And now, some music.”
mike on July 29th, 2008
Or, as the Boomtown Rats’ “Looking After Number One” clattered to its climax:
Geldof (feverishly): “I’m gonna be like, I’m gonna be like, I’M GONNA BE LIKE ME!”
[one second of dead air]
Blackburn (witheringly): “Oh.”
Mark G on July 29th, 2008
I was on that “Tony Blackburn’s National Pop Panel”…
I got “Forever Autumn” and “Northern Lights” to review.
So, I get very unexcited about two singles that are neither good or bad.
And I get, in return, a badge. And a photo, maybe, I can’t remember. And, no records. Heck, I’d always get records when I did Radio 210 stuff!
FT's Conrad on July 29th, 2008
Thanks everyone for the Tom Browne recollections and anecdotes. He sounds like a top man. Love CCS’s Brother as well.
I have a far clearer recall of the Blackburn era.
(as Dollar’s Love’s Gotta Hold Of Me fades out)
Blackburn: “That was beautiful…and so am I”!
Mark G on July 29th, 2008
CCS’ “Tap turns on the water” was the intro music for Tom Browne’s chart rundown.
Mark G on July 29th, 2008
From wiki…
This would be the only show he ever presented on Radio 1, but he did present occasional music documentaries on the station, notably on Abba, Queen and the Stylistics, and he never showed any sign of crossing over to television, for example via Top of the Pops. His smooth style and Received Pronunciation voice (becoming more noticeable in later years; initially he had tried to sound more like a 1970s pop radio DJ) were unusual for Radio 1 even then, and would be utterly unthinkable now.
After leaving Radio 1 he would broadcast for BBC Radio 2 in the early 1980s, provide the voiceover for many TV and radio adverts, and continue his acting career, notably appearing in Emmerdale Farm (as it was then called). He subsequently became a newsreader for BBC World television and then moved to Hong Kong, where he became a popular broadcaster on the British Armed Forces radio service in the final years of British rule. His final appearance on national BBC radio came at the very end of 1991, when he presented “The Million Selling Singles of the 60s and 70s” on BBC Radio 2, although he was a contributor to Radio 1’s “25 Years of the UK Top 40″ which aired in September 1992.
After the Hong Kong handover in 1997, he continued working in radio, as well as commercial voice over artist and freelance video presenter until 2005, thereafter retiring to live in Thailand with his Thai wife. He currently owns a farm where they grow rice and mushrooms with the mountains of North Central Thailand in the distance.
Retrieved from “http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tom_Browne_%28broadcaster_and_actor%29″
jeff w on July 29th, 2008
Tom Browne is indelibly inked on certain memories of my childhood, as I sure I’ve noted on other threads. By contrast I’d quite forgotten that Bates and Blackburn ever hosted the Sunday chart show. I think that says a lot.
DJ Punctum on July 30th, 2008
I’m pretty sure that every week “Funkin’ For Jamaica” was on the chart Blackburn made a comment about how great it was that a former chart show presenter was now in the charts himself.
Mark G on July 30th, 2008
yeah, too bad for Tony’s singles, it wasn’t him!
DJ Punctum on July 30th, 2008
“Chop Chop” was ahead of its time.
DJ Punctum on July 30th, 2008
AND written by Chinn and Chapman!
mike on July 30th, 2008
Euros Childs (ex-Gorkys) has taken to covering “Chop Chop” on stage, although he introduces it as an old Sweet track. (Same song, though. And he does it rather well.)
DJ Punctum on July 30th, 2008
A version does indeed appear on the first Sweet album.
Chris Brown on August 9th, 2008
I can think of one ex Top 40 presenter who did go on to score a hit, but that’s way in the future and not totally bunny-proof.
I always used to get this confused with ‘Pictures Of Matchstick Men’ by Status Quo.
FT's alephnaughtpix on August 18th, 2008
“I associate this song not so much with Lowry’s art as with the hand-drawn history lessons Blue Peter used to provide - little motion comics of Marie Antoinette or Louis Pasteur. I can’t remember whether there was one on Lowry”
Not only was there one on Lowry, but it used a specially rerecorded and extended version of “Matchstik Men…” as a framing device. It wasn’t B&M singing it though- it was then presenter Mark Curry!
FT's Tom on August 18th, 2008
Blimey! Well, no wonder then :)