JJ BARRIE - “No Charge”
I was aware of this song long before I heard it - as a young boy it was quoted at me by my Dad should I ever object to tidying my room. Since my room was rarely tidy, I became very familiar with the central notion of “No Charge”. Like my Dad, I can find immense amusement and pleasure in this style of song - talking country with a sentimental edge - but this is far from a great example.
You might think, at first, that the style stands or falls on the strength of its concepts: not so. “No Charge” has a fine concept - mawkishness and moralising are assets here! - but where JJ Barrie falls down is on development and details. Once our young entrepreneur has presented his list, and been slapped down by Mom, the track has nowhere to go, and explores that nowhere thoroughly for two minutes. Contrast it with something like “Teddy Bear” by Red Sovine, where tears are ruthlessly jerked right up to the final words. Barrie, on the other hand, adds no new details and just repeats himself. This is partly because “No Charge” is a cover version, and you can hear what I assume is the original melody being hollered in the background: it sounds rather as if it’s trying to escape. 2
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Mark G on May 7th, 2008
Jonathan King? I don’t even believe when he slags something! It’s purely if it serves JK!
Say no, kids! For many reasons!
FT's DJ Punctum on May 7th, 2008
But who would do it then? Gary “GO WEST TURN THIS UP NOW” Davies? Bruno “playing Oh Happy Day on the morning after the 1992 election” Brookes? Peter “Jack Your Body is NOT music and I RESIGN” Powell?
I am of course available at competitive rates…
Mark G on May 7th, 2008
Mike Read?
(I know, I know)
Mark G on May 7th, 2008
Mike Read used to do an excellent oldies prog on Radio 210, it went way beyond the usual strictures (let alone the ones in place now). Conrad Veight, the occasional Beatles bootleg single (How do you do it), Sim&Garf’s Tom and Jerry stuff, oh etc.
Not one to baulk at Donald Peers OR “Death Disco” I tell ye.
FT's DJ Punctum on May 7th, 2008
Mike Read who had his Eric Clapton moment last year when railing against immigration apropos his failed Mayor of London campaign. No thanks.
FT's DJ Punctum on May 7th, 2008
Also we’re talking eighties/nineties here and Clifftastic Read strikes me as someone who wouldn’t quite have been in sympathy with post-Madchester developments.
Let alone major developments in the singles charts of late 1983/early 1984.
Waldo on May 7th, 2008
Actually, how about Ken Livingstone? He’s not got anything on just now!
FT's DJ Punctum on May 7th, 2008
ooer
Waldo on May 7th, 2008
# 223 - I’m afraid that mentioning JK, Dale and ” a better fist” in the same sentence is courting disaster…
Waldo on May 7th, 2008
Yeah, I know, ooer!
Billy Smart on May 7th, 2008
Rob Brydon used to be a DJ, and chose interesting things like ‘Flowers of Romance’ when he curated Top of The Pops 2. That might work.
FT's DJ Punctum on May 7th, 2008
Unfortunately the best man for the job - David “Still A Kid?” Jensen - is already doing it (and very well) on the Capital Gold show.
Waldo on May 7th, 2008
Sarah Kennedy would be entertaining. Trouble is, she’s completely fucking crackers and will surely die alone at home and have her undiscovered corpse eaten by her cats. The Twilight Zone’s got nothing on Sarah. Bonkers.
FT's DJ Punctum on May 7th, 2008
Sarah K is DEFINITELY someone who would have spent all of the eighties and nineties grooving to the Mike Sammes Singers and Bert Kaempfert.
I suppose the return of Jimmy Savile’s Old Record Club is out of question (”owowowowoo, Manic Street Preachers, The”)…
pink champale on May 7th, 2008
pete waterman would be my candidate for presenting saturday potp. i love hearing him getting teary-eyed in his enthusiasms (as he was recently doing about the feeling on ready steady cook to a very uninterested dr fox) , he’d be quite happy to play SL2 or whoever (i imagine his reaction at the time would have been ‘why didn’t i think of that/what can i nick from it for my next record’ rather than outrage) and he could be relied upon to be rude about dreary indie (i remember him being very offended at the existence of embrace). plus he was pretty much always there, from northern soul nights to the early days of the specials to glossy 80’s pop to 90’s teen pop to 00’sreality pop. and he might go off on one about steam engines at any time.
FT's DJ Punctum on May 7th, 2008
Yes but he’d spend most of the time playing his own records and would quickly become insufferable I think.
Tommy Vance is sadly missed.
FT's DJ Punctum on May 7th, 2008
Please to God don’t give the gig to Maconie (”Doctor and the Medics? What was that all about? Eh? Eh?”) or Lamarr (”not northern soul not rockabilly not ska therefore is shit”).
pink champale on May 7th, 2008
or jupitus!
Kat but logged out innit on May 7th, 2008
Perhaps a cheerful, non-racist/paedophile DJ that was happily consuming 100% of chart fodder at the time? *cough* *sticks up hand* Or is there some sort of minium age limit on being a Radio 2 presenter?
FT's DJ Punctum on May 7th, 2008
Not strictly speaking but it helps if you’re a celebrity since the Controller of Radio 2 likes her celebrity presenters. And George Lamb but let’s not go there.
Waldo on May 7th, 2008
I met Tommy Vance at a Sad Among Strangers gig once (c.1985) and he was very aproachable and pleasant. A top bloke.
Agree totally about Waterman. He would lose the audience very quickly indeed.
Mark “Class Warrior” Lamarr is nothing but a Peely wannabe, who tries his best to bamboozle his audience just for the fun of it. I can take him in spurts but I entirely agree that he would be totally unsuitable for a mainstream show and almost certainly would not want to do it anyway for the reasons MC has outlined.
rosie on May 7th, 2008
I nominate Fiona Talkington, for reasons outlined above.
FT's DJ Punctum on May 7th, 2008
She’d never cope with having to play the sixth of eight top 40 hits by the Nolans.
mike on May 7th, 2008
Ah, the great Late Junction Schism: are you a Fiona person or a Verity person? Have to say that we’re more of a Verity household. She has a touch more… edge.
rosie on May 7th, 2008
Fiona is more likely to pull Captain van Vliet out of the bag. But I’d be happy with Verity. There’s a bloke wot does it sometimes and then I’m inclined to turn off.
FT's Drucius on May 7th, 2008
Hard to believe that such a godawful tune has spawned 249 comments, innit?
FT's Drucius on May 7th, 2008
My take on the punk thing. While pop (and dance/disco) was largely unaffected, the rock world most certainly was completely changed. Look at the Reading lineup for ‘76 to ‘80 to see the effect. We’ve now got to the point where there is no outstanding musical genre that dominates the scene completely, and people are generally tolerant of everybody elses (extremely widespread, these days) taste.
I’d say we’re living in Pistols World right now.
Waldo on May 7th, 2008
It’s punk wot won it for JJ.
I think in tribute, we should compose a punk version of NC, which finishes with the child, who having just been fobbed off by Mom, goes in to one with: “IT’S NOT FAAAIIRRRR!!! BUT I DON’T CAAAARRRRREEE!!!” etc.
“For taking off my safety pin this week, $3.95…”
FT's DJ Punctum on May 7th, 2008
I thought Verity Sharp was alright until I saw her patronising Scott Walker on The Culture Show on BBC2 and now she needs to be hanged for the greater good.
Waldo on May 7th, 2008
How DARE she! I’ll have to take your word, MC, as I didn’t see the broadcast, but anyone who fails to worship at the temple of Scott (never mind patronise him) deserves to be scraped to death with a blunt razor blade.
LondonLee on May 7th, 2008
Sorry, but it’s always been Frank Sinatra’s world we’re living in.
rosie on May 7th, 2008
Not Joe Brown’s then?
FT's DJ Punctum on May 8th, 2008
In any case, Sinatra was only renting the world from *insert safely deceased mobster of your choice*
Erithian on May 8th, 2008
“For not gobbing on the postman, a dollar twenty…”
FT's DJ Punctum on May 8th, 2008
I see James Whale’s now available for work, if anyone at Radio 2 is interested.
rosie on May 8th, 2008
Don’t know if anybody else is currently listening to the proggy on Radio 4 about John Cooper-Clarke and his links to the Manchester punk scene, but I’m sure it will be on Listen Again, or whatever the BBC are calling it this week. Fits nicely with this thread, I think.
Rob M on May 8th, 2008
James Whale has been signed up for a shopping channel on TV apparantly.
Erithian on May 8th, 2008
Yes, wouldn’t it be fun if we had to deal with John Cooper Clarke on Popular? “Beasley Street” at number one, I’d have liked that. Or “I Married A Monster From Outer Space” -
“We could even have taken a different race / But, f— me, a monster from outer space!”
FT's DJ Punctum on May 8th, 2008
Judge Dale: “it was a bit unusual but we all loved it.”
Waldo on May 8th, 2008
Didn’t Dale say that about Napolean XIV?
FT's DJ Punctum on May 8th, 2008
It’s his code for records he hates.