Feb 08

Lets Nit-Pick* Cloverfield!!!

Do You See + FT14 comments • 1,328 views

Because that’s what the NIT WITS are doing too**.

So let us round up some of the “problems” people have with Cloverfield, bearing in mind that it is a MONSTER MOVIE set in New York.
The Camera Battery wouldn’t last that long.
Maybe he had spares. Maybe he picked up spares in the shop. Maybe its a really good DV camera.

How could you walk up from Spring Street to 59th Street on the subway tracks and not come across a train.

Dudes, people will be using the trains to evacuate, and probably cancelling the trips back into a monster ravaged New York.

Surely the head of the Statue Of Liberty wouldn’t bounce like that.
Sure is cool though right.

The sound is far too good for a video camera.

What kind of creature has a life cycle which has little teeny aliens sweating off it?
Am I allowed to bring up the thorough preposterous life-cycle of the ALIEN from ALIEN?

Why is is called Cloverfield.
OK, you’ve got me there.

*Though be careful nit-picking a giant monster, as it appears its nits are dangerously homicidal little aliens it its own right.

**THE FONT? The font on the tag? And the use of scare quotes? SHEESH!!!


  1. 1
    katie on 11 Feb 2008 #

    Yus I came up with a GREBT THEORY that the nits were, er, alien nits. As you were.

    It was apparently called Cloverfield as the Bad Robot offices were on Cloverfield Street, or something.

  2. 2
    henry s on 11 Feb 2008 #

    the US Military routinely assigns random words to field operations, so “Cloverfield”, by seeming arbitrary, simply adds to the “realism”…

  3. 3
    Pete Baran on 11 Feb 2008 #

    Hooray for realism in giant monster movies.

    Cloverfiled isn’t even a word though? It just means they don’t get a good sequence arguing about whether to call it GORGO or MONSTRO, and then never use the name again (cf Godzilla).

  4. 4
    Steve on 11 Feb 2008 #

    As I pointed out to Magnus on Saturday, the makers claim the monster is a freaked out baby. But when you’re freaked out you do not feel like eating. Perhaps this is what really separates us humans from monsters but I remain unconvinced.

  5. 5
    Steve on 11 Feb 2008 #

    ‘Cloverfield’ seems like totally the kind of codename the military would label this sort of incident tho. This was the most believable part of the whole film!!!

  6. 6
    Steve on 11 Feb 2008 #

    One particularly nerdy nitpick I’ve seen is that if the camera is recording to SD memory as it appears to be, the footage wouldn’t ‘wind’ as it is seen to a couple of times in the film.

  7. 7
    Pete Baran on 11 Feb 2008 #

    Re the freaked out baby.

    a) Have you ever met a freaked out baby? The best way of calming them down is to feed them (unless they are superfreaked out in which case all bets are off and the city is doomed)

    b) Do we see the monster eating anything? Or just knocking stuff over because it is clumbsy.

  8. 8
    Steve on 11 Feb 2008 #

    i’m sure there’s a difference between freaked out baby and baby crying because it’s hungry. perhaps the cloverfield monster is more of a toddler tho.

  9. 9
    Tom on 11 Feb 2008 #

    The best way of calming them down is to hug them and talk in a soothing voice (and then feed them). I am sure the US army try this in the fillum which I have not seen.

  10. 10
    Steve on 11 Feb 2008 #

    ‘b) Do we see the monster eating anything? Or just knocking stuff over because it is clumbsy.’

    Well we see it at least bite Hudd. It is unclear whether when Marlena says “it was eating them” or similar she is referring to the monster or one of the parasites that came from it. it’s also unclear whether the parasites want to eat people or just bite them (leading to whatever happened to marlena) and perhaps try and “drag them off” (brilliantly disturbing moment when this was claimed).

  11. 11
    katie on 12 Feb 2008 #

    The best way to calm down a freaked-out baby is to BEEP the baby’s NOSE!

    This is why people rarely let me babysit, isn’t it? :(

  12. 12
    Al Ewing on 12 Feb 2008 #

    In fairness the army do try and beep the baby’s nose with some giant bombs but it doesn’t work. However with little time to construct a giant hugging machine there wasn’t much else they could have done.

  13. 13
    henry s on 12 Feb 2008 #

    I wonder if the army thought to get that dog-whisperer guy involved…might have worked…

  14. 14
    shaun oakes on 25 Feb 2009 #

    also when their in the tunnel and hudd is getting attacked by the monster babies fleas he keeps the camera really focused i would have gone screw the camera and strangled the flea

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