Spoiling Halva
Halva is an acquired taste – I’ve never successfully convinced anyone who’s not had it before that it is nice, despite my efforts. I think it’s the uneasy marriage of bitter and slightly sickly. Last night I was wandering about a local shop looking for ricotta (nothing doing) when I stumbled across this – Helva’m produced by Sebahat. I had to buy some, I liked the shape of the container. It excited me to think I could possess it and have it in my house FOR ALL TIME.I got home and had a bit, as an appetiser before my wonderfully healthy dinner of tiger prawns, broccoli and asparagus (which I later spoiled, condiment wise, by mistaking the balsamic vinegar for the soy sauce. Aciiid!). But back to the helva. Halva. Whatever. It looked like Nutella. I dug down into it a bit expecting some beige strata at some point, but it was Nutella-y all the way down (usually when I eat halva I like to pretend I am on Time Team, excavating a site. With a teaspoon). It tasted like Nutella without the hazelnuts – ie dull. Just plain Ella. I could just about get a hint of the sesame tones of halva, but very faintly. I am quite capable of eating stupid amounts of almost anything, often regardless of taste, but I couldn’t really see a point in continuing to eat the Helva’m.
It wasn’t the taste that finally stopped me, mind you – it was the consistency. You know how Nutella is spreadable, in a way that means however much you want to to eat it straight from the glass, you feel compelled to employ a bready mediator for the sake of decency? That’s a good thing. It’s useful to be able to spread spread. The picture on the Helva’m tub suggests a similar spreading fate for its contents, but the consistency is like a thick clay. You’d have to melt this stuff before it would spread evenly, and even then I’m not convinced it would work. So I figured it was meant to be eaten from the tub, because who’d be crazy enough to melt this stuff down each time they wanted a snack?! (Well, I say ‘I figured’; I was actually too lazy to bother doing anything else). I found myself having to bite the stuff off the spoon, which is not the intended consumption technique for spoons – I tried licking it, but the damn stuff was practically waterproof, like slightly softer plasticine. Once in my mouth it took a lot of mastication to get it to unstick from my palate. My neck muscles actually ached trying to swallow a spoonful. Then I got a headache. So, er, thanks Sebahat, for ruining halva for me. The name even connotes hesitation if you squint a bit – Helva? Um ……no thanks.
Helva’m tastes of very little, is waterproof and incredibly sticky. I think I’m going to grout the bathroom with it.
Alix in FT / Pumpkin Publog • Food • 696 views • Share/Save
I think the problem was having AS A STARTER. You’ll be having smoked mackerel for pudding next!
Ok then, it was a stand alone snack consumed coincidentally close to the start of my dinner.
Ps, the halibut eclair I had for dessert was delicious.
Mmm, tasty tasty halva. Perhaps yr helva there was originally spreadable some time in the distant past, but has hardened over the time it takes to import it from, er, Germany? Turkey?
Sebahat would seem to be a Belgian company, producing Middle Eastern food.
I am testing it again, just to make sure of my initial impression. It is as bad as first time round.
iyi gunler sizi candan tebrik ediyorum sizinle tanismam nasil oldu cocukluyumuzdan beri koska yi taniriz benimde bir huyum var hic bir seyi markasiz yani bildiyim eski unlu bilinen markalari alirim malum ugur dundardan sonrada daha dikkat eder oldum bundan 3 sene once turkiyede beyoglunda koskaya girdim geri donuyordum neler neler aldim tabi hediyelikte vardi icinde bir bavul doldurdum inanirmisiniz cope attim guya yerinden aldim bayat getirdiyim eziyetemi yanayim o kadar para verdim ve inanin ben yemedim diye hediyede vermedim olmaz ama deyilmi hepsi cope ne yapicam ne alicam derken cunku bizde bir aliskanlik var istanbuldan onu buralarada tasidik baliyin yaninda olmazsa olmazi helva olmak zorunda inanin cocuklarim helva sayesinde balik yiyor gercekten yakisiyorda.neyse birgun reklaminizi gordum sizin reklamlar insana duyguda veriyo dur ya birde sebahiti deneyim dedim ve odur budur evimize baskin yapsaniz illahi sebahat mamulleri gorursunuz bana cok tatli gelirdi helva fazla aram yoktu ama sebahat helvadaki o kitirlik insani bayiltmama tati varya bende helvaci oldum simdide gullu lokum reklamlarda hemen onuda aldim o reklamda cocukluyumu hatirlatti harika reklam muzikleriniz var.sizden bir sey rica ediyorum bir turk vatandasi olarak cok cok uzuluyorum burda yanlizca asdada var asdada her semtte olmuyo butun buyuk markerlere magazalara neden vermiyorsunuz bunun icin birseyler yapabilirsiniz siz buyuk bir sirketsiniz bizim burda mark spenserde lokum var ama birgun yanilip aldim son oldu yunanlilar tabii buyuk oynar adamlar mallarini satiyo markta yanlizca findikli yada sade lokum var oysaki o kadar cok cesit bol lokumlarimiz varki yavas yavas denense kapilarda tadimlik dayitilsa ne guzel olur ingilizler seviyo hatta turkiyeye gittiyimizde ismarliyorlar yanliz lokum degil tabbi hersey receline kadar cok tessekkur edrim milliyetciligim tuttu iyi gunler