THE OSMONDS - “Love Me For A Reason”
One of many drunken nights ago in a University bar I got into a vicious competition over Boyzone’s version of this song. My table would put the Boyzone song on the jukebox. Another bunch of drinkers at the next table would reply with Weezer’s “Buddy Holly”. This went through six or seven cycles before we were all threatened with eviction - remarkable patience by the bar staff, considering. Now I’ll admit our first play of the track was probably a tiny bit “ironic”. But as we played it again and again, evolving a complex series of arm-dances to accompany it, and as the drink fogged our brains, irony dissolved into territorial love.
I wouldn’t now spend money - even 20p a shot - to hear Boyzone’s “Love Me For A Reason”, and I wouldn’t go to bat for it critically either (except relative to that dreadful Weezer song of course), but it’s left me with a dogged fondness for the song, which even in this much finer original formulation was pretty clockwork stuff. The endlessly repeated chorus has a lulling quality - FUN girl, ONE girl, REASON, LOVE - and “Love me for a reason and let the reason be love” is one of those sublimely banal aphorisms only a boy band can really get away with. The Osmonds do a professional job on the tune, though, and when they wriggle out of the chorus straitjacket there are some quality pop moments: most of all, the lead-in to the final chorus - “my initial reaction is - honey gimme love, not a facsimile of!” - where the words cram into a gabble of excitement that breaks gloriously through the choreographed cooing. 6
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FT's Lena on November 15th, 2007
This was one of those times when neither #1 was much good - in the US it was “(You’re) Having My Baby” by newly-announced Canadian Songwriter Hall of Fame winner Paul Anka.
Caledonianne on November 15th, 2007
Oh yes, Waldo - I remember that of which you speak!
Kind of came to mind during the (entirely different) recent tennis coach trauma - though ski-ing was the sport of (p)reference in the earlier case if I remember aright…
Caledonianne on November 15th, 2007
Should have added - looking at this Youtube clip
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_iVWg5T7fXM
- even by the standards of mid-1970s dress the combination of white jackets with ghastly trousers in colours only normally seen in the wardrobes of middle-aged golfers is fairly jaw-dropping.
I’m a wee bit underwhelmed by this - I can see why I was scathing about it at the time, yet still recognise that they were good-looking boys, and they could deliver a pretty tune rather well.
crag on November 16th, 2007
Osmondmania was a bit before my time being only 1 year old- but what i was wondering how much of a one-man-show they were in terms of popularity.Did their young female audiences of the time split into various factions each choosing a different member of the group as their favorite, as seems to have been the way with most bands with a similar fanbase before and since(Beatles, Rollers, Boyzone etc).Or was it really only all about Dishy Donny right from the start, with his goofy brothers tagging along merely accepted by fans as part of the “deal”? It seems a little unlikely to me but were there really schoolgirls in the 70s who had heated arguments over whether, say, Alan was dreamier than Wayne? Or who perhaps covered their bedroom walls solely with pin-ups of Merrill for them to drool over? Perhaps some more mature contributors could enlighten me? Just curious.
Also perhaps a tad obvious i know but why has nobody mentioned Crazy Horses yet? Now THERE’S a record.
Marcello Carlin on November 16th, 2007
I’m pretty sure “Crazy Horses” was cited a few times in the previous Donny entries.
As hard to believe as it might seem, I can attest from first hand experience that there were indeed heated debates between the girls in my ‘73-4 primary school class about whether Merrill was dishier than Jay etc. A year later the same girls were having the same debates about whether Eric was more gorgeous than Woody, but that’s still to come.
From the Osmond perspective it probably made sense to diversify their “acts” according to demographic preferences; thus Donny would be in charge of the teen idol department, Marie for girly country ballads for the, um, girls (though that never really took off) and Little Jimmy for tiny tots novelties, and that would leave the Actual Osmonds free to be a Serious Group with Serious Things To Say About This Modern World. Although when the idolatry passed the Donny And Marie Show was the only feasible remaining branch of the operation.
mike on November 16th, 2007
“Joker” Jay in particular had a lot of fans to call his own, and there was much wailing and gnashing of teeth when Merrill got married to Mary.
Erithian on November 16th, 2007
Back to LL (#21) – no denying she’s a talented singer but she sounds like she’s fighting to keep up at times. Somewhere in the mix is a half-decent song but it’s bludgeoned into submission beneath the worst case of Mariah-itis I’ve ever heard. If someone had auditioned performing all that vocal gymnastics, wailing and octave-jumps I do wonder what the judges would have said.
Yes, even without Google I remembered Joyce McKinney (#25) and the “I would have skied nude down Mount Everest with a carnation in my teeth for Kirk” quote. (Mind you Waldo, she wasn’t all that!) Just after the story was all over the tabloids I actually found myself opening the door to a Mormon missionary. As it happened I was playing a tape of the Beatles’ “Please Please Me” album at the time, and oooh, if ONLY it had reached the track that goes “My baby’s got me locked up in chains…”
Marcello Carlin on November 16th, 2007
Well it’s probably a bit like boot camp; once the judges let you through, you get six months (six weeks?) of melismatic square bashing drilled into you, since in Cowell’s forever 1990 world you have to be Whitney or Mariah to gain International Success and that is that.
A shame really because with Rhydian in the current series I have caught a glimpse of the ghost of Billy MacKenzie on a couple of occasions but there’s no way they’re going to allow him to develop that.
In the seventies the Jehovah’s Witnesses were in the habit of ringing our neighbourhood’s doorbells with their Free Book Including Interview With George Harrison. I don’t think they found any takers.
mike on November 16th, 2007
I’d like to see Rhydian get his chops around “Eloise”.
Marcello Carlin on November 16th, 2007
SECONDED!!!!
Mark G on November 16th, 2007
Yeah. He won’t though.
Not after his “I’m coming out” anyway. (no hidden messages there, viewers!)
Caledonianne on November 16th, 2007
As one who was around at the time I can confirm the fans-for-bruvs-other-than-Donny phenomenon.
Indeed, I had a schoolfriend who was so smitten by Jay that she instructed us all to stop calling her Elizabeth and address her by the name of her idol. Despite this moment of madness, as a grown-up she became editor of the TV Times.
crag on November 18th, 2007
Top story, Caledonianne! Thanks to all who posted a response to my query re: Merrillmania etc.
Interesting Osmonds fact i discovered the other day-did anyone know that as well as (deep breath) Wayne, Alan, Jay, Merrill, Donny, Marie and Jimmy there are 2 other older Osmond brothers called George and Thomas who were both born deaf?
The really odd thing about these two Gummo Marxesque characters was that although unsuprisingly their disability prevented them from recording w/ their siblings they have apparently performed live and on TV with them several times over the years!
I wonder how that worked?
RobM on November 18th, 2007
Oddly enough, Marcello (#33) I was thinking the same about Rhydian and Billy Mackenzie. If only he didn’t look like Max Headroom.
Marcello Carlin on November 19th, 2007
If only he hadn’t done “Go West” on Saturday.
mike on November 19th, 2007
2 other older Osmond brothers called George and Thomas who were both born deaf?
Oh yes; we knew them as Virl and Tommy, and they were regularly mentioned in the teen mags (my sister was buying import copies of Spec and 16 during 73-74, and Os-triv was a major component factor, along with extensive coverage of a couple of ordinary looking Joes called Randy & Kev, who played a couple of firemen on US TV, oh and and advice column purporting to be from LaToya Jackson called “Tell It To Toya”…!)
Erithian on November 19th, 2007
re Rhydian - and if only he didn’t look and sound more preposterous every week. He reminded me more of the scary nutter in a previous series who murdered “Tainted Love” then told the judges he knew where they lived.
Marcello Carlin on November 19th, 2007
But pop is MEANT to be preposterous in a you’ll-never-be-me/I-am-not-of-this-world sense, as opposed to, say, Same Difference, who are clearly the missing link between Bardo and Kate Garraway.
Erithian on November 19th, 2007
Point taken MC, but I’m reminded of Terry Wogan’s famous words to David Icke in his turquoise shellsuit: “They’re not laughing WITH you, they’re laughing AT you”.
RobM on November 19th, 2007
Let’s face it, if Cowell and Co are really looking for someone with the X factor, Rhydian has it in spades. But they want someone like Beverley who’s just a good singer and can be manipulated. Rhydian won’t win, shame.
Marcello Carlin on November 19th, 2007
Beverley could probably make a better living as a session singer than any of the other contestants but I think you’re right; she’ll win and end up being pushed into becoming another failed Whitney. Whereas Cowell is increasingly viewing Rhydian as just this year’s Darius.
Mark G on November 19th, 2007
Cowell *wants* Rhydian.
My bet is, he’d vote to keep Rhydian over Same Difference.
Marcello Carlin on November 19th, 2007
Same Difference just need to find their Trevor Horn, really.
Mark G on November 19th, 2007
In a “Derek and Clive” way, naturally.
RobM on November 19th, 2007
But surely Simon is mentoring Same Difference, so would feel honour bound to support his act? I missed this week’s show (working) so don’t know who was in the bottom two - who was with Alisha then?
Mark G on November 19th, 2007
“Honk”
They managed to do a pretty damn good performance of Amy Housewine’s “Back to Black” the previous week. (Which has led to Amy’s version crashing into the singles charts on d/l’s)
Basically, whoever wins will be lining SCowell’s pockets for at least 3 months until the gas runs out. Picking SameDiff over Rhyd would just be smiting his own nos.
Also, he’s very cagey about voting against an artist who might win through, which is why he chose the boy group to go when he had two acts up. If he;d voted them to stay, the phonein votes might have put them out anyway, and he’d be mentoring a girl group he voted to leave.
Still, The Osmonds! whoa!
Marcello Carlin on November 19th, 2007
Before (if?) we go back to the Osmonds, I must mention that it’s rather ill-becoming of Cowell to complain about substandard choreography when he hired the frigging choreographers in the first place! I was very nearly anticipating a Paul Anka/Buddy Rich moment at one point on Saturday where he drags the choreographer on stage and lectures him about how when he moves, he slices like a freaking hammer, &c.
mike on November 19th, 2007
…and Buddy Rich once made the front page of the Melody Maker (late 73, I think it was) for launching a vitriolic diatribe against… The Osmonds!
And so our wheel turns full circle.
FT's richard thompson on May 10th, 2008
Boyzone couldn’t sing in harmony with their inferior version
DJ Punctum on May 11th, 2008
For a minute I thought you were going to say “with a buzzsaw.”