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Oct 07

Tanya’s Music News Round Up!!!

FT + I Hate Music3 comments • 1,435 views

In my never-ending battle against the evils of music, I occasionally come across allies who often are unaware of how helpful they are to me. Take the US Immigration services who have decided that The Pipettes are TOO DANGEROUS to be allowed into the US. Or at least mucked up their visa. This is the same US Immigration service who were equally sniffy about letting in big mouthed satan spawn Lily Allen in recently. It is possible that the problem is that both acts have put MUSICIAN down as their profession on the visa application, which I believe flags up the FBI, CIA and the fictitious CTU as much as if you wrote TERRORIST on the form. The downside is of course that this means the Pipettes will still be knocking around in the UK with the gawky glasses and songs which sound like a deaf bloke heard the Shirelles forty years ago and had just got round to copying them. Good on the US with their WAR AGAINST TERRIBLE MUSIC.

On the other hand my archnememises in Radiohead have yet another wacky plan to give them column inches. Apparently singing like a strangled swan and playing miserable songs with sixth form political lyrics is not enough for them anymore. Apparently they are attempting to bring down the economy of the western world. HOW? By allowing people to pay what you want on their website for their new album “In Rainbow”*. The wags. That is bound to cause a financial crisis undermining all that is sacred and good int he record industry. I am not holding my breath though, its not the first time Radiohead have toyed with me and my project. Imagine my rejoicing when they announced “Pop Is Dead”. I thought this was a true statement rathe rthan a scratchy half-arsed knock off of “Creep”. So I certainly don’t trust them now.

I even went to the website. Look, what I pay is up to me. No, really. Its really up to me. Yeah, but you can’t put negative figures in the payment box can you? Bastards. I want them to pay for the pain of Hail To The Thief.

*Why anyone would want to buy a concept album about Zippy Bungle and Geoffrey sung in a depressing whine over the sound of an electric guitar being fed through a coffee grinder is beyond me.

Comments

  1. 1
    supersonic75 on 5 Jan 2008 #

    You see, this is where the internet, and its utter lack of a critical filter, actually starts to worry me. Who is this complete idiot, Tanya Headon? (I’m sure you feel that any response is some form of flattery, TH). You’re somewhat akin to Kelefa Sanneh impersonating Lester Bangs, with neither the knowledge nor enthusiasm of either (and Sanneh is one of the worst critics writing at the moment). And listen, if you’re going to make an attempt at “criticism”, you should at least proofread your drivel first.

    Why am I bothering with a flea like yourself? Because I hate laziness and stupidity in all forms, and if you’re going to write about something-music, political policy, whatever-back it up with something that supports your position. Or be clever or funny. Your bullshit is pointless.

  2. 2
    Monsieur F. on 16 Feb 2008 #

    What’s the point of your comment? She hates music. I hate music too. Music makers and music listeners do believe in God, in some way. They’re afraid by the idea of nothingness, they need to wear a fake identity by having this and that on their shelves, they feel they’re involved in politic or life or wathever just by listening certain band. Wathever.

  3. 3
    Stop trying. Really. on 5 May 2008 #

    Your pathetic attempts to emulate Maddox makes me weep for the future of the human race. At least you got one thing right: your articles are utter pigshit.

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