Careless Wispa (the old ones are the best)
Whilst I am happy that the Wispa is back (it’s chocolate heaven, I ate it an hour ago and I’m still on a lovely bleary fuzzy high - Green & Blacks and Montezuma et al can just… fvck off until they get with the cocoa butter), the Cadburys Wispa microsite is the worst thing ever. I hate all Flash animation ever and it must die. I also mean YOU, Lucky Voice.
Said microsite includes:
1) a feature where you can upload a picture of yourself and it will give you “your 80s throwback look” in case you “weren’t there at the time” (ohgod)
2) 80s “prizes” including a Rubix cube
And there’s more but the Cadburys website is somehow stopping my keyboard from reacting so I’ve had to close it! Resign, internet.
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Steve on October 25th, 2007
But Cadbury’s need to get with the Fair Trade cocoa (butter) innit. Until then the half-assed boycott with occasional absent-minded lapses continues.
Tom on October 25th, 2007
It seems a really weird time to be doing a LOL 80s site - their influence has hardly been bigger!
Steve on October 25th, 2007
Are they bringing back Paul Nicholas and wossername for TV ads?
FT's Sarah on October 25th, 2007
I was actually quite surprised to see them flogging it on the back of “the 80s” - I hardly associate Wispas with neon legwarmers.
FT's katstevens on October 25th, 2007
I used to have one of those blue Wispa mugs, it came with an Easter egg balanced in it.
Matt DC on October 25th, 2007
I was charged 60p for a Wispa the other day! I know they’re new and exiciting again but still…
This would neve rhave happened under Thatcher.
FT's Alan on October 25th, 2007
that would be smiths? i was charged 59p for a packet of fruit pastilles in smiths yesterday. SIXTY PENCE. am i getting old?
stevem on October 25th, 2007
absent-minded unfair trade lapse update: I just had a Pret Bar - they really are good.
FT's CarsmileSteve on October 25th, 2007
i think you whippersnappers are, unsurprisingly, forgetting that wispa only arrived in the 80s and it felt like it was the first new chocolate bar for decades (clearly not true, but what it felt like). assuming cadbury’s ad folk are probably late 30s/early 40s, they would totally associate it with the 80s, even though this probably means they’re confusing the heck out of a fair proportion of the choccie buying public…
Marcello Carlin on October 26th, 2007
This is a gross slur against the seventies superleague of Curly-Wurly, Texas, Aztec, Super Mousse and, um, Mike Reid’s Triffic Bar.
Tom on October 26th, 2007
Case closed I think! Except for the genuinely massive advance in chocolate technology that is the Curly Wurly.
Billy Smart on October 26th, 2007
The website doesn’t mention the 1990s limited editions; 1996’s Wispa Gold (caramel) and 1997’s Wispachino. Were there any others?
A particular highlight of my fanzine career was describing ‘Trash’ by Suede as being “as gooey and sweet as a Wispa Gold” in the summer of ‘96.
And does anybody else remember the revisionist history of Cadbury’s Boost? Launched in 1988 as a coconut bar, joined by a biscuit sister bar in 1990 which went on - cuckoo-like - to usurp the original.
And what of the delicious Cadbury’s Silk? A strawberry confection launched with no publicity in 1990, which only I may have eaten.
FT's Alan on October 26th, 2007
the texaN bar had a bit of a revival for a while - i had one some months back - it was a limited edition ‘retro revival’ thing, and perhaps a trial for the wispa. though without the same level of pr, so no!
i had one yesterday. rubbish. expensive. wispa bar, resign
Marcello Carlin on October 26th, 2007
Oh yeah, Texan (not Texas), because it took a long time to chew a Texan nudge nudge.
There was a shortlived spin-off bar called Prize, which was the same as Texan except for nuts instead of caramel ‘n’ nougat. I may have been the only person in the history of mankind ever to have eaten one.
FT's pˆnk s lord sükråt cunctør on October 26th, 2007
so do they have the aztec and the texan and wispa productionline machinery kept ready to be dusted off and switched back on when the REVIVE moment arrives?
actually i hope they just have one big giant machine with knobs that say “wispa”, “aztec”, “
marathon” <–has snickers written on it in felt-tip, and the same identical gunk gets pour in one end and comes out whicher you want, depending on which knob you pressedyr pal pilly pˆnkå
FT's Tom on October 26th, 2007
Wispas were always a bit rub and lightweight - Carsmile is totally right that it was the whole OMG a NEW BAR for a NEW GENERATION that got you buying. In fact the experience was HOLLOW and preyed on GREED much like THE DECADE ect ect dys
“Brian, you kissed her”
FT's Alan on October 26th, 2007
this is all writing the original ORIGINAL wispa out of history.
while i find ref to that on the webternet, here’s TV cream: http://tv.cream.org/specialassignments/bestbefore/arksweet.htm
hmm it appears that my kiddy memory of the wispa vanishing and then reappearing a year or so later is because… I WAS BLESSED to be living where they first trialled it http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wispa “The bar was launched in 1981 as a trial version in the Tyne-Tees(Middlesbrough through Newcastle and suurounding ares) area of North East England and with its success it was introduced nationally in 1983″
when it came back we were all like “ah man they’ve changed it, i don’t like this version as much”. oh foolish foolish children. if only you weren’t so northern.
Billy Smart on October 26th, 2007
The whole NEW BAR for a NEW GENERATION buzz was recreated by Cadburys in late 1996 with the launch of Fuse, which contained kernels of fudge, biscuit and raisins. Although we all ate them with interest for a while, I think that they were withdrawn within a few years.
FT's pˆnk s lord sükråt cunctør on October 26th, 2007
time to remind everyone that wispa was nearly called ROMBO
and that yorkie was going to be QUINN or O’BRIEN
FT's pˆnk s lord sükråt cunctør on October 26th, 2007
haha i googled these and the person most likely to be discussing them on the net is ME
russell t. davis should include this as a plot idea in his reworked LAST OF THE SUMMER WINE project
Marcello Carlin on October 26th, 2007
I never ate Fuse.
Yorkie these days tastes increasingly of axle grease.
Billy Smart on October 26th, 2007
Ah! The great Yorkie sea change occurred in about 1995, when it was relaunched as smoother and creamier, in more direct competition with its closest rivals, Dairy Milk and Galaxy. For some of us, it was its concentration upon coco-ness, rather than milkiness, that was its great original strength.
And it was a sad day when the almond ones were withdrawn.
Matt DC on October 26th, 2007
The Fuse was great, it was a real ‘mash everything together and cover it in chocolate’ bar. I wasn’t aware they’d stopped making them.
FT's Raw Patrick on October 26th, 2007
“when it came back we were all like “ah man they’ve changed it, i don’t like this version as much”. oh foolish foolish children. if only you weren’t so northern.”
I was in the test area too and the test versions WERE much nicer. Better chocolate and better bubbles. They were so fucking lush.
I didn’t realsie the test area was so big. I thought it was only my small Northumberland town that had ‘em :(
Marcello Carlin on October 26th, 2007
The trouble with the original Wispa was the family-sized bottle of water which you needed to buy at the same time in order to quench the immense thirst which it induced (although admittedly this is a generic Cadbury’s chocolate dilemma).
Tom on October 26th, 2007
I never liked Fuse much but was a huge fan of Maverick - Nestle (I think) rival product in the mash-it-together stakes. The much-touted Pret Chocolate Bar is the only current rival.
Has there been a big 00s chocolate launch? I rly ought to know this for my job but I can’t think of one.
Marcello Carlin on October 26th, 2007
I think the packaging of Fuse probably put me off trying it more than anything else but now I can’t remember what the wrapper looked like.
stevem on October 26th, 2007
This is just like a conversation I was party to in real life with the real actual k-punk at sinkah’s. He should be here.
Fuse was fantastic. I’m still surprised they stopped making it considering it was supposed to be the fastest selling new bar ten years ago.
Pret Choc bar would be even better without the raisins of which I am not a fan generally.
Tom on October 26th, 2007
Fast early sales mean nothing though - they are no indicator of whether a bar will STAND THE TEST OF TIME. Are you some kind of choctimist?
stevem on October 26th, 2007
Anyway I recommend http://www.divinechocolate.com ’s chocolate highly, pricier but nicier (arguably in the taste sense, definitely in the political sense).
stevem on October 26th, 2007
“they are no indicator of whether a bar will STAND THE TEST OF TIME. Are you some kind of choctimist?”
but why would their sales suddenly drop to the extent that they would stop making it? i have never liked Cadbury’s Boost but there it’s been around for 15 years or more. i have not always been a choc-elitist and liked to think of myself as in touch with the common man’s taste in the past. not many bars have actually come AND gone in my time (have they?) so Fuse’s absence became conspicuous and MYSTERIOUS.
FT's pˆnk s lord sükråt cunctør on October 26th, 2007
i. new bar arrives
ii. i eat it every day for a month
iii. i notice i feel queasy/bloated/remorseful/made a fool of
iv. new bar’s sales drop
FT's pˆnk s lord sükråt cunctør on October 26th, 2007
boost is lovely
stevem on October 26th, 2007
v. chocolate wrapper millionaire
vi. glass elevator shenanigans
FT's Tom on October 26th, 2007
Divine is nice but really REALLY sweet, even though it’s high cocoa solids, and high cocoa plus sweetness is always a bit of an overload combination.
As for fuse, this is like saying “Where has Hooch gone?” - one of the things about branding in the last decade or two is how hugely faddy its become - take Sunny D for instance, which actually outsold COKE briefly and then just collapsed totally.
Marcello Carlin on October 26th, 2007
Has anyone ever actually tried Dubble?
stevem on October 26th, 2007
But why exactly do these things happen? I was baffled by Hooch’s disappearance too (and Boddingtons*), but Hooch had controversy that Fuse didn’t. I just don’t see why Fuse didn’t just settle down into the ranks along with all the other bars it was certainly no worse than.
I haven’t noticed Divine tasting any sweeter than Galaxy really but to be honest I only buy it because I am haunted by Newsnight’s expose of child-worker exploitation in Cotes D’Ivoires. Damn you Gavin Esler.
FT's pˆnk s lord sükråt cunctør on October 26th, 2007
I blame my machine theory!
well not the theory but the FACT of the way the machines work! if BOOST rises in popularity they don’t have capacity to pump out enough TIME OUTS, bcz the machine is in constant use with the knob on the wrong setting
stevem on October 26th, 2007
Spira and Applause must’ve been launched around the same time as Wispa. How much older were Marathon, Topic, Aero and Rolos?
FT's Tom on October 26th, 2007
Aero - 60s
Rolo - around the same time cos it’s fiddly to make.
Topic - is old skool I think, 30s maybe
Marathon - 479 BC
FT's Pete Baran on October 26th, 2007
Mars, some time befopre the Earth was formed.
Why aren’t we talking about the Fat Emma bar?
FT's Raw Patrick on October 29th, 2007
I’m always surprised the Star Bar keeps going. I love it, other people seem to have never heard of it and lots of shops don’t stock it. It’s far superior to it’s closest rival the Boost.
gareth hanford on November 27th, 2007
i remember cadburys silk as if it was yesterday really short-lived confectinary,5 bite size chocolates with the most delicious strawberry cream filled centres in a blue packaging.my ex wife was contemplating suicide when without warning she couldnt buy them anymore
Elizabeth on December 4th, 2007
Does anyone remember what the chocolate shaped monsters were called? I think they were out some time in the 1990’s and maybe into the early 2000’s. They also had some hot chocolate that tasted like them. They were well nice.