25 October 2007

Careless Wispa (the old ones are the best)

Whilst I am happy that the Wispa is back (it’s chocolate heaven, I ate it an hour ago and I’m still on a lovely bleary fuzzy high – Green & Blacks and Montezuma et al can just… fvck off until they get with the cocoa butter), the Cadburys Wispa microsite is the worst thing ever. I hate all Flash animation ever and it must die. I also mean YOU, Lucky Voice.

Said microsite includes:
1) a feature where you can upload a picture of yourself and it will give you “your 80s throwback look” in case you “weren’t there at the time” (ohgod)
2) 80s “prizes” including a Rubix cube

And there’s more but the Cadburys website is somehow stopping my keyboard from reacting so I’ve had to close it! Resign, internet.


in FT /Pumpkin Publog • 1,346 views

Comments

  1. Steve on 25 October 2007 #

    But Cadbury’s need to get with the Fair Trade cocoa (butter) innit. Until then the half-assed boycott with occasional absent-minded lapses continues.

  2. Tom on 25 October 2007 #

    It seems a really weird time to be doing a LOL 80s site – their influence has hardly been bigger!

  3. Steve on 25 October 2007 #

    Are they bringing back Paul Nicholas and wossername for TV ads?

  4. Sarah on 25 October 2007 #

    I was actually quite surprised to see them flogging it on the back of “the 80s” – I hardly associate Wispas with neon legwarmers.

  5. katstevens on 25 October 2007 #

    I used to have one of those blue Wispa mugs, it came with an Easter egg balanced in it.

  6. Matt DC on 25 October 2007 #

    I was charged 60p for a Wispa the other day! I know they’re new and exiciting again but still…

    This would neve rhave happened under Thatcher.

  7. Alan on 25 October 2007 #

    that would be smiths? i was charged 59p for a packet of fruit pastilles in smiths yesterday. SIXTY PENCE. am i getting old?

  8. stevem on 25 October 2007 #

    absent-minded unfair trade lapse update: I just had a Pret Bar – they really are good.

  9. CarsmileSteve on 25 October 2007 #

    i think you whippersnappers are, unsurprisingly, forgetting that wispa only arrived in the 80s and it felt like it was the first new chocolate bar for decades (clearly not true, but what it felt like). assuming cadbury’s ad folk are probably late 30s/early 40s, they would totally associate it with the 80s, even though this probably means they’re confusing the heck out of a fair proportion of the choccie buying public…

  10. Marcello Carlin on 26 October 2007 #

    This is a gross slur against the seventies superleague of Curly-Wurly, Texas, Aztec, Super Mousse and, um, Mike Reid’s Triffic Bar.

  11. Tom on 26 October 2007 #

    Case closed I think! Except for the genuinely massive advance in chocolate technology that is the Curly Wurly.

  12. Billy Smart on 26 October 2007 #

    The website doesn’t mention the 1990s limited editions; 1996′s Wispa Gold (caramel) and 1997′s Wispachino. Were there any others?

    A particular highlight of my fanzine career was describing ‘Trash’ by Suede as being “as gooey and sweet as a Wispa Gold” in the summer of ’96.

    And does anybody else remember the revisionist history of Cadbury’s Boost? Launched in 1988 as a coconut bar, joined by a biscuit sister bar in 1990 which went on – cuckoo-like – to usurp the original.

    And what of the delicious Cadbury’s Silk? A strawberry confection launched with no publicity in 1990, which only I may have eaten.

  13. Alan on 26 October 2007 #

    the texaN bar had a bit of a revival for a while – i had one some months back – it was a limited edition ‘retro revival’ thing, and perhaps a trial for the wispa. though without the same level of pr, so no!

    i had one yesterday. rubbish. expensive. wispa bar, resign

  14. Marcello Carlin on 26 October 2007 #

    Oh yeah, Texan (not Texas), because it took a long time to chew a Texan nudge nudge.

    There was a shortlived spin-off bar called Prize, which was the same as Texan except for nuts instead of caramel ‘n’ nougat. I may have been the only person in the history of mankind ever to have eaten one.

  15. pˆnk s lord sükråt cunctør on 26 October 2007 #

    so do they have the aztec and the texan and wispa productionline machinery kept ready to be dusted off and switched back on when the REVIVE moment arrives?

    actually i hope they just have one big giant machine with knobs that say “wispa”, “aztec”, “marathon” <–has snickers written on it in felt-tip, and the same identical gunk gets pour in one end and comes out whicher you want, depending on which knob you pressed

    yr pal pilly pˆnkå

  16. Tom on 26 October 2007 #

    Wispas were always a bit rub and lightweight – Carsmile is totally right that it was the whole OMG a NEW BAR for a NEW GENERATION that got you buying. In fact the experience was HOLLOW and preyed on GREED much like THE DECADE ect ect dys

    “Brian, you kissed her”

  17. Alan on 26 October 2007 #

    this is all writing the original ORIGINAL wispa out of history.

    while i find ref to that on the webternet, here’s TV cream: http://tv.cream.org/specialassignments/bestbefore/arksweet.htm

    hmm it appears that my kiddy memory of the wispa vanishing and then reappearing a year or so later is because… I WAS BLESSED to be living where they first trialled it http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wispa “The bar was launched in 1981 as a trial version in the Tyne-Tees(Middlesbrough through Newcastle and suurounding ares) area of North East England and with its success it was introduced nationally in 1983″

    when it came back we were all like “ah man they’ve changed it, i don’t like this version as much”. oh foolish foolish children. if only you weren’t so northern.

  18. Billy Smart on 26 October 2007 #

    The whole NEW BAR for a NEW GENERATION buzz was recreated by Cadburys in late 1996 with the launch of Fuse, which contained kernels of fudge, biscuit and raisins. Although we all ate them with interest for a while, I think that they were withdrawn within a few years.

  19. pˆnk s lord sükråt cunctør on 26 October 2007 #

    time to remind everyone that wispa was nearly called ROMBO

    and that yorkie was going to be QUINN or O’BRIEN

  20. pˆnk s lord sükråt cunctør on 26 October 2007 #

    haha i googled these and the person most likely to be discussing them on the net is ME

    russell t. davis should include this as a plot idea in his reworked LAST OF THE SUMMER WINE project

  21. Marcello Carlin on 26 October 2007 #

    I never ate Fuse.

    Yorkie these days tastes increasingly of axle grease.

  22. Billy Smart on 26 October 2007 #

    Ah! The great Yorkie sea change occurred in about 1995, when it was relaunched as smoother and creamier, in more direct competition with its closest rivals, Dairy Milk and Galaxy. For some of us, it was its concentration upon coco-ness, rather than milkiness, that was its great original strength.

    And it was a sad day when the almond ones were withdrawn.

  23. Matt DC on 26 October 2007 #

    The Fuse was great, it was a real ‘mash everything together and cover it in chocolate’ bar. I wasn’t aware they’d stopped making them.

  24. Raw Patrick on 26 October 2007 #

    “when it came back we were all like “ah man they’ve changed it, i don’t like this version as much”. oh foolish foolish children. if only you weren’t so northern.”

    I was in the test area too and the test versions WERE much nicer. Better chocolate and better bubbles. They were so fucking lush.

    I didn’t realsie the test area was so big. I thought it was only my small Northumberland town that had ‘em :(

  25. Marcello Carlin on 26 October 2007 #

    The trouble with the original Wispa was the family-sized bottle of water which you needed to buy at the same time in order to quench the immense thirst which it induced (although admittedly this is a generic Cadbury’s chocolate dilemma).

  26. Tom on 26 October 2007 #

    I never liked Fuse much but was a huge fan of Maverick – Nestle (I think) rival product in the mash-it-together stakes. The much-touted Pret Chocolate Bar is the only current rival.

    Has there been a big 00s chocolate launch? I rly ought to know this for my job but I can’t think of one.

  27. Marcello Carlin on 26 October 2007 #

    I think the packaging of Fuse probably put me off trying it more than anything else but now I can’t remember what the wrapper looked like.

  28. stevem on 26 October 2007 #

    This is just like a conversation I was party to in real life with the real actual k-punk at sinkah’s. He should be here.

    Fuse was fantastic. I’m still surprised they stopped making it considering it was supposed to be the fastest selling new bar ten years ago.

    Pret Choc bar would be even better without the raisins of which I am not a fan generally.

  29. Tom on 26 October 2007 #

    Fast early sales mean nothing though – they are no indicator of whether a bar will STAND THE TEST OF TIME. Are you some kind of choctimist?

  30. stevem on 26 October 2007 #

    Anyway I recommend http://www.divinechocolate.com ‘s chocolate highly, pricier but nicier (arguably in the taste sense, definitely in the political sense).

  31. stevem on 26 October 2007 #

    “they are no indicator of whether a bar will STAND THE TEST OF TIME. Are you some kind of choctimist?”

    but why would their sales suddenly drop to the extent that they would stop making it? i have never liked Cadbury’s Boost but there it’s been around for 15 years or more. i have not always been a choc-elitist and liked to think of myself as in touch with the common man’s taste in the past. not many bars have actually come AND gone in my time (have they?) so Fuse’s absence became conspicuous and MYSTERIOUS.

  32. pˆnk s lord sükråt cunctør on 26 October 2007 #

    i. new bar arrives
    ii. i eat it every day for a month
    iii. i notice i feel queasy/bloated/remorseful/made a fool of
    iv. new bar’s sales drop

  33. pˆnk s lord sükråt cunctør on 26 October 2007 #

    boost is lovely

  34. stevem on 26 October 2007 #

    v. chocolate wrapper millionaire
    vi. glass elevator shenanigans

  35. Tom on 26 October 2007 #

    Divine is nice but really REALLY sweet, even though it’s high cocoa solids, and high cocoa plus sweetness is always a bit of an overload combination.

    As for fuse, this is like saying “Where has Hooch gone?” – one of the things about branding in the last decade or two is how hugely faddy its become – take Sunny D for instance, which actually outsold COKE briefly and then just collapsed totally.

  36. Marcello Carlin on 26 October 2007 #

    Has anyone ever actually tried Dubble?

  37. stevem on 26 October 2007 #

    But why exactly do these things happen? I was baffled by Hooch’s disappearance too (and Boddingtons*), but Hooch had controversy that Fuse didn’t. I just don’t see why Fuse didn’t just settle down into the ranks along with all the other bars it was certainly no worse than.

    I haven’t noticed Divine tasting any sweeter than Galaxy really but to be honest I only buy it because I am haunted by Newsnight’s expose of child-worker exploitation in Cotes D’Ivoires. Damn you Gavin Esler.

  38. pˆnk s lord sükråt cunctør on 26 October 2007 #

    I blame my machine theory!

    well not the theory but the FACT of the way the machines work! if BOOST rises in popularity they don’t have capacity to pump out enough TIME OUTS, bcz the machine is in constant use with the knob on the wrong setting

  39. stevem on 26 October 2007 #

    Spira and Applause must’ve been launched around the same time as Wispa. How much older were Marathon, Topic, Aero and Rolos?

  40. Tom on 26 October 2007 #

    Aero – 60s
    Rolo – around the same time cos it’s fiddly to make.
    Topic – is old skool I think, 30s maybe
    Marathon – 479 BC

  41. Pete Baran on 26 October 2007 #

    Mars, some time befopre the Earth was formed.

    Why aren’t we talking about the Fat Emma bar?

  42. Raw Patrick on 29 October 2007 #

    I’m always surprised the Star Bar keeps going. I love it, other people seem to have never heard of it and lots of shops don’t stock it. It’s far superior to it’s closest rival the Boost.

  43. gareth hanford on 27 November 2007 #

    i remember cadburys silk as if it was yesterday really short-lived confectinary,5 bite size chocolates with the most delicious strawberry cream filled centres in a blue packaging.my ex wife was contemplating suicide when without warning she couldnt buy them anymore

  44. Elizabeth on 4 December 2007 #

    Does anyone remember what the chocolate shaped monsters were called? I think they were out some time in the 1990′s and maybe into the early 2000′s. They also had some hot chocolate that tasted like them. They were well nice.

  45. louise on 26 April 2010 #

    i remember caburys silk bar it had strawberry mousse/fondant/goo type stuff in it loved them bring them back and lemonade crunchies mmmm

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