Not on the list AT ALL when we entered the laboratory, this piece of pun based was invented on the spot. As with any great inventions it had necessity as its mother and sous chef. We had bought a bit too much Ye Olde Oake Ham. Now some of you might rightly say that the amount “too much” would be any amount, but we had something in store for the ham. But two tins was too much. And so we wondered what else we could do with this processed mean product (45% meat!). And our eyes alit on the bottle of pink Cava that some of the female scientists had brought to celebrate success with.
It was already open. The day was already a success.
Carvery Ham, someone shouted. (OK, it was me. I own too many Carter records). Carvery Ham, everyone else said with a question mark at the end. Whatever could he mean? And then the poor pun filtered in their head and excitement reigned. Ye Olde Oake Ham, diced and marinaded in Cava. Never has the phrase OM NOM NOM NOM been less applicable. This was not just for pun based reasons however. Previous food diaspora research had led us to discover the wild world of flavoured Spam, so we wondered if this preparation would take to the not dissimilar Ye Olde Oake Ham.
It didn’t.
STEP ONE:
OPEN THE THE HAM. If you are so inclined (I was) eat the jelly.
STEP TWO:
Put Ham on flowery plate
Pour pink Cava over it.
STEP THREE:
Refrigerate
STEP FOUR:
After a few hours get some brave soul to try it out. Said brave souls were myself, Sarah, Alix and Carsmile Steve. Our findings were dominated by and expected result, with a kicker of a mysterious effect…
RESULTS:
It was agreed by all four taste testers that it was foul. It was fouler than Ye Olde Oake Ham in its raw state. It was certainly fouler than Cava. The already gelatinous texture of the processed meat product had got even sloppier, at least facilitating swallowing and removal from mouth. However there was a bizarre side effect (not death). The Cavary Ham tasted strongly of oranges. Neither the Cava not the ham had any orange in them, or indeed tasted of orange by themselves, so this was a rather unexpected result.
CONCLUSION: DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME.