20
Oct 06

Food Science Day 2: 4 – The Long Egg #1

FT + Proven By Science + Pumpkin Publog6 comments • 2,967 views

tiny gala pieAIM: To replicate the legendary LONG EGG, of GALA PIE fame

APPARATUS: many eggs (as per usual)* — plus also beef gelatin, pan, disposable cylindrical container (i used the bottom half of an EVIAN bottle), kitchen scissors, kitchen knife

INITIAL COMMENTS: The impeccable logic behind this method is that NO ONE HAS EVER CUT A GALA PIE ON THE BIAS — hence the LONG EGG may well be laterally pre-sliced, but we never spot this as the only method of analysis we use is the lateral slice (which by the properties of parallelism cannot reveal earlier slices — either it coincides with an earlier slice, thus hiding it, or it fails to intersect with an earlier slice, thus failing to reveal it)

tower of eggMETHOD:
i: hard-boil many eggs
ii. slice them latitudinally
iii. discard all yolk-free slices (have COOL HAND LUKE on er hand to help)
iv. order undiscarded slices as caprice she dictate** liquid jelly
v. build undiscarded slices into a TOWER standing on the base of the disposable container (tip: it may be necessary to secure the tower’s stability with the use of structural cocktail sticks or wooden skewers or twigs or other convenient long slim pointy things)
vi. prepare jelly (boil water and pour in powder as per instructions)
jellysetvii. pour still liquid jelly into disposable container, to surround the GREAT TOWER of EGG
viii. place in fridge and allow to set
ix. free from container***

the beast
x. cut away excess jelly so as to reveal
a: the LONG EGG in its SHEATH of DELICIOUSLY um CLEAR INTEGUMENT
b: A WORLD WITHOUT A GOD ect ect
eggsheath eggruin
*(the HUMBLE EGG — is she the MOTHER OF ALL SCIENCE? i say YES!!)
**(viz.by size; or else to produce undulating concertina-esque semi-sameness of diameter)
***(i used scissors here bcz my container was made of light plastic and RIBBED — the more foresightful would have looked out a resuable container possibly, ie one you could gloopily free the jelly from as from a MOULD)

SUBSIDIARY COMMENTS: owing to early pre-skewer instability of tower when first immersed in liquid jelly, a lot of yolk here dissolved into the jelly somewhat clouding it, which various NIMINIMY-PIMINIMY ONLOOKERS felt DISAGREED with their puny sensibilities — if you too are surrounded by FEEBS then take steps to keep the jelly as clear as er something actually edible like a glacier mint or something, and anyway a bit less like a CONGEALED DUCKPOND

CONCLUSION: of course in an actual real GALA PIE the jelly surrounds the MEAT not the EGG — but this was an experiment to prove that this is how they MADE the egg, not how they made the entire pie. In my opinion it is CONCLUSIVE.

Comments

  1. 1
    CarsmileSteve on 20 Oct 2006 #

    hurrah for long egg #1!!

  2. 2
    Pete Baran on 20 Oct 2006 #

    I have cut a gala pie on the bias, and it doesn’t look like this…

    I did eat some of it though, and the beefy goodness was grebt.

  3. 3
    Steve Mannion on 20 Oct 2006 #

    MADE IN 4
    ENGLAND 5

    we win!

  4. 4
    CarsmileSteve on 20 Oct 2006 #

    i thought steve BOMBER harris and the boys were quite into their football?

    http://www.maidenfans.com/imc/?url=single31_taatg/commentary31a_taatg1&lang=eng&link=singles

  5. 5
    Pissflaps on 24 Sep 2010 #

    Perhaps you’d like to write this in English next time, and not gibberish?

  6. 6
    punctum on 24 Sep 2010 #

    The question mark was incorrect as you weren’t asking a question. Also it should be “rather than” rather than “and not” and the comma is spurious.

    In order to break the rules you firstly have to learn them.

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