ROLF HARRIS - “Two Little Boys”
(#280, 20th December 1969)
In rock terms you could locate the end of “the 1960s” at Altamont or Woodstock, or the Beatles’ final split. In the wider narrative of British life, you could point to the 1970 World Cup defeat and the end of the Wilson government. But in the world of the pop charts, the decade ends here, with Australian light entertainer Rolf Harris reviving a sentimental music hall ditty from 1912.
“Two Little Boys” is not without cultural significance, and not without merit either, but you have to work quite hard to get to either. Though it’s a record about war, you’d have to push to link its success to Viet Nam, but it does have another, odder political resonance: Margaret Thatcher on Desert Island Discs picked it as her favourite record of all time.
Why? The Internet is unfortunately silent on this point. It wasn’t current during her girlhood, and her children were 16 at this point, so she clearly liked it for herself. Selfless loyalty to ones friends isn’t an especially Thatcherite trait, but the song does take place in wartime when the supremacy of the individual can be suspended without ideological taint. Maybe - a reading Robin Carmody might enjoy - she liked the idea of this hated decade of statist government and progressive reform ending with such a simple, reassuringly moral tune.
Or, given that her only other pop-crit pronouncement was to praise the Thrashing Doves on kids TV, it may simply be that the Thatcher ears work in mysterious ways.
Is “Two Little Boys” any good, though? It fails the (quite important) test of me ever wanting to listen to it again, but it’s hard to hate the thing. Rolf Harris has become a minor national treasure partly because of the huge enthusiasm and sincerity with which he approaches everything he does - from teaching kids to draw, to entertaining students at Glastonbury, to painting a portrait of the Queen. “Two Little Boys” is no exception - no singer but a natural storyteller, he sells the song to a young audience with full conviction.
This is one of the entries where the ‘marking system’ on Popular breaks down a bit. There is nothing wrong with making records for children; there is nothing wrong with children (or their parents) buying them and getting them to No.1; the notion that young adults, particularly fashionable young adults, have some kind of moral lock on popular music is nonsense. But the starting point of this history is a thirty-something man asking which No.1s he enjoys, and why, and in that context all I can say about this is that it’s probably the best version of “Two Little Boys” ever recorded. 3
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FT's pˆnk s lord sükråt cunctør on September 26th, 2006
b-but what about TELSTAR!?
maggie’s top three=telstar, thrashing doves and this!! if only she had written for nme 79-90 instead of bein PM then the hiphop wars would have taken quite a difft turn IMO
FT's Tom on September 26th, 2006
O noes I forgot Telstar!
Have we any more entries for MT’s Top Pop Top Ten??
Marcello Carlin on September 26th, 2006
She also expressed a liking for Save Your Kisses For Me by the Brotherhood of
BreathMan.I view “Two Little Boys” as the old general who appeared right at the beginning of this sixties story (”Tie Me Kangaroo Down Sport” - 1960) returning after the war and sadly surveying the blasted wreckage of the post-Beatles battlefield; so it ties in with the general feeling of apocalypse running through a lot of 1969’s key number ones. Lennon apparently sent Rolf a telegram congratulating him on sneaking an anti-Vietnam song to number one at Xmas, Trojan horse-style, but I emphasise the “apparently.”
Behind him, at number two in the last chart of the sixties - was the intent for him to return triumphantly to the top? - “We’re caught in a trap, I can’t walk out”…
FT's Tom on September 26th, 2006
Also I suspect there must have been 100s of feeble satirical cartoons w/Wilson and Callaghan on a wooden horse - maybe Maggie chuckled over one of those!
FT's Steve Mannion on September 26th, 2006
‘Margaret Thatcher on Desert Island Discs picked it as her favourite record of all time.’
I thought this was ‘How Much Is That Doggy In The Window’ - is this one of those ‘Roger The Cabin Boy’ style widely reported/joked about but factually incorrect anecdotes, or am I just confused?
FT's Pete Baran on September 26th, 2006
Michael Howard had “Everything I Do (I Do It For You)”, which I expect to be mentioned when that rocks up in twenty years time.
I believe Thatch told Smash Hits that her fave was “How Much Is That Doggie In The Window”, but she changed her tune (literally) when Lawley got her hands on her.
jeff w on September 26th, 2006
Google is not being my friend but I found a Times piece which mentions MT included Bob Newhart’s “Introducing Tobacco to Civilisation” in her DID picks. Which I also love.
As for Rolf, well I have some pleasant childhood memories to go with this song, but Tom’s 3 is I think about right.
FT's pˆnk s lord sükråt cunctør on September 26th, 2006
we changed the lyrics and hilarity ensued viz:
two little boys had two little toys
each had a wooden HEAD!!
i don’t recall any more and that may indeed have been the zenith of our comical invention
Matos W.K. on September 26th, 2006
Congratulations on finishing the ’60s, Tom. Nice work.
Marcello Carlin on September 26th, 2006
Zenith of I’m Sorry I’ll Read That Again’s comical invention was inserting bleeps viz. two little boys had two little BLEEP each had a wooden BLEEP oh how we cackled
FT's Tom on September 26th, 2006
Thanks M.M. - I admit I thought at one point I’d never get there!
Brian on September 26th, 2006
Here, here, Nice job on the sixties to Tom & all contributors.
Haven’t posted much lately ( like it matters ) as I can’t keep up to the torrid pace & also , oh yeah, very busy and have to pay the
” piper” but want you all to know how much I enjoy this …….
FT's Tom on September 26th, 2006
I’m aiming for 5-7 entries per week, but I stepped up the pace a bit to get to the 60s finish line.
FT's wwolfe on September 26th, 2006
I don’t know this record, but I love Marcello’s take on it.
Once the posting on recent entries warps up, I think I’ll start to print out the entries and replies for the Sixties. it’s been one of the more enjoyable discussions about music I’ve had the chance to read (and participate in) for quite some time.
Just out of curiosity, does anyone know how high “Waterloo Sunset” charted. I’d always thought it made #1 in the UK.
Also, September 30 is “Ask a Stupid Question Day.” I’m going to use that as an excuse to ask what I have no doubt is a truly stupid question about “Lily the Pink.” Fair warning.
markgamon on September 26th, 2006
This is getting worse. I’m off to put my head in the oven in recognition of the fact that I lived through this once.
Once was enough.
Alan Connor on September 26th, 2006
I remember doing a composite Top Politicians’ Desert Island Discs thing for the ACME blog before evil C|2AXXX0RZ ate it, and found the information very hard to find. I still do, but would love to compile it sometime, assuming Robin C hasn’t.
Even those who plan to piss on Thatcher’s grave have to give her this: if her Desert Island Discs were focus-grouped, they got a weird bunch of freakazoids into said group.
A distant cousin of this, in the noosphere in my head, is “Almost Four” off the Captain Beaky album.
It’s a cover version (from the turn of the century) itself, no?, but presumably it was Rolf’s version they had in mind when Billy Connolly did a police brutality skit called “Two Little Boys In Blue”, and when Splodgenessabounds had a pop.
Lena on September 26th, 2006
Hi wwolfe,
“Waterloo Sunset” made it to #2, I think Sandie Shaw or The Tremeloes kept it from getting to the top.
Has Tony Blair been on Desert Island Discs yet?
Matos W.K. on September 26th, 2006
Tom, can you email me? Thanks.
FT's Doctor Mod on September 27th, 2006
I don’t know this one–”moral” war songs redolent of British imperial adventurism wouldn’t capture much of a US audience (then or now)–and, all things considered, I really don’t want to know it.
Why I “remember” this song I never heard is that (if I recall correctly) it kept Shocking Blue’s “Venus” from hitting the top of the UK charts. (I believe it was #1 on some charts, perhaps Disc and Music Echo? At any rate, it was #1 in the US in January 70. Ik ben half Nederlands so I was interested in the so-called “Dutch invasion” that never really happened.)
Personally, I’m sorry this one prevailed. It would be more interesting to talk about “Venus,” that quirky European one-off that had nothing to do with Eurovision, a song that seems to have more lives than any cat.
FT's Tom on September 27th, 2006
Shocking Blue did some other pretty good stuff - I am very fond of “Inkpot”! - I investigated them a bit when I drew the Netherlands in the Pop World Cup earlier this year…
Marcello Carlin on September 27th, 2006
Shocking Blue’s “Venus” only reached #8 in the UK, as did the Bananarama version. The act who had the biggest hit in Britain with the song was Don Pablo’s Animals (#4, 1990).
FT's Martin Skidmore on September 27th, 2006
I’m sort of fond of this record, without necessarily wishing to hear it again. I really liked it and was quite moved by it when it was at #1, when I was a child, and I think that is worth some points, and it also has to be said that it is much better than another hit single with more or less identical content, Dire Straits’ Brothers In Arms.
FT's Doctor Mod on September 27th, 2006
Guess I mis-remembered about “Venus” in the UK, then. One is not as young as one once was….
You’re quite right, Tom–SB and some of the other Nederpop groups (or Nederbeat, take your choice) were far better than they’re given credit for being.
FT's Doctor Mod on September 27th, 2006
As for “Bad Miss M” (i.e., the title of Danielle Dax’s song about Maggie T):
Well she would, wouldn’t she?
FT's wwolfe on September 27th, 2006
Thanks for the info, Lena.
Erithian on September 27th, 2006
Never mind about Shocking Blue, Doc – in a few years’ time (in Tom’s timeline) you’ll be able to rave about Focus. (you’d enjoy the use of “House of the King” as the theme tune to “Saxondale” as well).
One last Beatles link to see out the decade. Rolf was the compere of the Beatles’ 1963 Christmas show, and told Q magazine about a run-in he’d had with them: “They stood in the wings with a microphone and made silly comments during one of my songs… I came storming off the stage and shouted, Get some bloody professionalism into you! Jesus! You don’t muck around with somebody else’s act! Don’t ever bloody do that again! And after that they didn’t bloody do it again, I can tell you.” Way to go, Rolf.
I stumbled upon “Popular” last year (while researching the link between Alma Cogan and Myra Hindley for a quiz!!) and it’s been an essential read ever since. Well done Tom and here’s to the 70s.
FT's Doctor Mod on September 27th, 2006
Erithian, do tell!
1. So when would I rave about Focus? Surely THEY never had a UK #1 (although stranger things have happened). I might also ask why I would rave about Focus? With the exception of Jan Akkerman, whom I respect as a serious musician, I found them to be an irritating mixture of pretension and absurdity. (HotK was Akkerman’s, I believe.)
2. But what I really want to know is what indeed is the link between Alma Cogan and Myra Hindley?!?!?
FT's Ward Fowler on September 27th, 2006
Aren’t they both morphed on the cov (and maybe the content) of the Gordon Burns’ nov?
FT's Tom on September 27th, 2006
The (very unpleasant) connection is that on the tape recording Hindley and Brady made of one of the murders, Alma Cogan can be heard on the radio in the background.
Chris Brown on September 27th, 2006
Focus indeed never topped the UK chart but early in 1973 they did enjoy two simultaneous hit singles, the larger being ‘Sylvia’. For some reason my Mum has loads of Focus albums, which is totally out of character for her. I’m a tiny bit Dutch myself, but it’s from my Dad’s side.
Onto Rolf anyway - for some reason I always assumed this song was about the American Civil War, although I realise that this makes no sense at all. At the risk of overplaying the family thing, this was the first record my uncle ever bought, which I don’t think he mentioned in his indie-band days. I don’t feel an instant urge to hear this again, and yet I wouldn’t be able to say I didn’t ever want to hear it; it’s sort of comforting to know it’s there, and as has been so astutely noted, it’s very difficult actually to dislike anything Rolf does (at least musically).
Peter Gaunt on September 27th, 2006
It’s a strangely likeable song this one, isn’t it? Not normally my cup of tea but for some inexplicable reason I’ve always liked it. Someone, I forget who, did a really, really fast punk version in the 70s which, besides being a wonderful piss-take, at least had the virtue of only being a minute or so long.
FT's CarsmileSteve on September 28th, 2006
Onto Rolf anyway - for some reason I always assumed this song was about the American Civil War, although I realise that this makes no sense at all.
strangely i’d also thought this. i suppose it kind of maybe makes sense that it’s a civil war of some sort, otherwise how would they know each other. also it must be from a time with cannons, but when horses (obv) were still in use…
…also i seem to recall Oink! comic doing a skit of it which as well as marvellously changing the first lines to:
Two little boys had two little toys
Each had a wooden geegee
Gaily they played each summer’s day
Except when they stopped for a weewee
showed the boys in American Civil War uniforms in the later panels.
Marcello Carlin on September 28th, 2006
The punk version was by Splodgenessabounds, in 1980.
Rolf did shoot a promo film for the song which depicted him walking through the WWI trenches and the cemetery at Ypres.
Erithian on September 28th, 2006
Yes indeed Tom, the Hindley-Cogan connection is very unpleasant, and suffice to say that when I learned what it was, it wasn’t used in the quiz I was compiling.
Doc – I thought “Sylvia” was a terrific single and “Hocus Pocus” not far behind. Of course the other Dutch band in the early 70s UK chart was Golden Earring, whose cred was rather spoilt by their former drummer Jaap Eggermont later being the evil genius behind “Stars on 45”.
FT's Doctor Mod on September 30th, 2006
OK, Erithian, you win. Last night I downloaded both “Sylvia” and “Hocus Pocus.” I’d always liked the former, and I thank you for reminding me of it. And “Hocus Pocus” wasn’t as irritating as I had thought–I now find the yodel perversely amusing. So I ordered a copy of the “Best of” CD. Erithian made me do it. (A pun on a Golden Earring title.)
Speaking of GE, well, they’re downright redoubtable. They’ve been together since 1961 (with the same basic lineup since 1970) and are still performing, which, I think, beats the Stones in the longevity category.
“Stars on 45″ is truly unforgivable, but, in the most technical sense, it did return “Venus” to the charts as part of the medley.
Website Optimization on February 3rd, 2007
Sounds good!
Marcello Carlin on July 23rd, 2007
An interesting piece I spotted in the Times on Saturday which may explain a lot about this song’s history…any relation, Tom?
riki cooper on January 7th, 2008
I saw the show Rolf sang it on as a child around 1970 in New Zealand.
The first impression I got of the songs era was European, 18-19th century. Boys in blue could only be french, therefore I surmise the song stems from the Napoleonic wars.
Toy wooden horses doesn’t fit 19th century America, but certainly with Europe. Young boys weren’t conditioned or expecting war between the states years before. Young boys in Europe always knew war was inevitable and it always came from England. if you look at 6 nations rugby every country in that competition has been plundered by or fought long hard campaigns against the English. Therefore you do not have to work hard to find cultural signifigance at all. In fact you could write at least a 1500 word referenced essay as a tertiary project. Also, the boys may have been well bought up as suggested by having a toy horse each and a comfortable lifestyle is subtly hinted at. The boys may well have been upper class and groomed as calvary officers as their forebears were. The whole piece speaks of nobility, gentility, bravado, dashing heroics of the officer class. Who knows, it could possibly have been interpreted from the French!
FT's richard thompson on June 9th, 2008
This was my favourite when I was seven years old as I remember rolf singing it on TOTP, during it’s last week there they just showed a photo of Rolf, the one they used at the beginning of the programme during the chart rundown as they used to play it at the beginning, there was Edison Lighthouse at the start the following week, so there was a new no 1 with Jimmy Savile introducing it.